The Air That I Breathe
by Summerbelle
Summary: I know it's been done approximately a hundred times, but I had to do a post-AYITL story for myself. Rory has life-altering decisions to make. Her and Logan both will have to confront their short comings if they want to make this work, but are they willing to put in the effort?
1. Chapter 1

**It's been over a half a year and I still can't let the ending of the revival go. My heart is still broken by what ASP did to Rory and Logan. I wasn't even the craziest GG fan out there - I've probably only seen a few of the original episodes more than once - but ever since I finished the revival I've been heartsick over the ending.** **I know this has been done by writers who are probably a lot more creative and talented than I am. But, in every one there's something that I feel like doesn't represent my exact vision so I started to write it down for myself.** **Now I have nine chapters already written so I decided to publish it. I wrote something for The Office a long, long time ago and recently deleted it because I was embarrassed by how bad it was...like cringed and read it peaking through my fingers bad. So, I hope this is a substantial upgrade. I have 23 chapters outlined and it's taken me several months to write what I already have done, so I don't know how long it's going to take me to complete it, but I have made a commitment to myself to finish this story no matter what. Even if it gets no reviews I'm finishing this thing. I'm a slow writer and rarely have time to do it, so that doesn't help, but I will change the status from in-progress to completed.**

Prologue

Those two words were out there, just hanging in the air like a fog surrounding the two women in the early autumn morning glow. Lorelai's mouth was still slightly agape trying to process the information. Rory was slouched down looking straight ahead. Neither made any moves. Nothing would ever be the same after this moment.

"But how?"

"The usual way. You've done it once before."

"But who?"

"You know who."

"No, I don't know who. Paul?"

"Logan, mom. Logan's the only one."

Lorelai took a deep breath. She couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her daughter's mouth. "Oh Rory, it's going to be okay." She squeezed her hand and Rory slowly turned to look at her with tears welling up in her eyes.

"I hope you're right. Because right now I don't think anything is okay. Look at my life right now, its one giant screw up."

"Hey, don't talk about my kid that way. You're not a screw up. I didn't raise a screw up. You're going through a rough patch that's all. I'm going to be here for you no matter what. We'll figure this out together." Lorelai squeezed her hand again and Rory wiped the tears from her eyes. This is not how she saw her wedding day going. But that's the thing with babies in her world; they don't exactly follow your plans. "How far along are you? Have you told him yet? Have you thought about what you want to do? You know I'll support you no matter what."

"Only a few weeks. I took a test on Wednesday, but I know exactly when it happened, there was only one opportunity if you know what I mean. And no to all the rest."

"Well those things aren't always right. You need to see a doctor-" Rory cut her off, "I know, mom. I _know_ I'm pregnant. The test wasn't wrong. I kind of knew before I even took it. I haven't missed a pill in my entire life, but I just knew in my heart what it was going to say."

Lorelai let out a sigh, "Okay then, what are you going to do about the rest? You have to tell him no matter what you decide. He deserves to know the truth, even if he's with someone else." She didn't want to say Logan's name out loud. She knew Rory was an adult who is more than capable of making adult mistakes, but a part of her still wanted to blame him for doing this to her daughter.

"I know I do, and I'm going to, but not today. And probably not tomorrow. I need some time to think." Rory paused to take a deep breath. "I'm sorry I dumped all of this on you on your wedding day. This is not how I planned on telling you, but I just couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I had to tell my best friend. I'll figure the rest out, soon. I promise."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay today? This is huge. It's going to be hard pretending that nothing's the matter around everyone."

"I'll be okay mom, I promise. I want to see you get married for the second time in 12 hours. I just need a power nap and I'm ready to rock and roll." Rory gave her best convincing smile through tears she could muster. She meant it too. She didn't want to think about her problems for the rest of the day. She never intended to tell her mom this way, but it just spilled out in the moment. She was actually looking forward to the wedding with all her Stars Hollow family in attendance to take her mind off of the monumental changes that were about to take place in her life. Nothing will ever be the same after she tells Logan.

Lorelai knew that Rory needed some time to process and think and make pro con lists. She needed a nap too after the late night, but doubted sleep was going to happen after this bombshell. "Alright, if you say so. Let's get up and go get married again." 

* * *

The fake wedding was as magical as the first. Lorelai looked absolutely stunning and Rory didn't know Luke was physically capable of smiling that much. As Emily walked Lorelai down the aisle Rory tried to push the thought of telling her grandmother to the back of her mind. Luke and Lorelai read aloud short personal vows before repeating the same traditional ones they had taken the night before. Everyone danced the night away and ate hot dogs in the town square. Taylor even allowed an exception to the town noise ordinance and let the party go on past 9:00 pm. Then Luke drove them off in his decorated "newlyweds" truck for a night at the Dragonfly followed by an early morning flight to Ireland, a wedding gift from Emily. Truly a perfect day.

Rory collapsed on her bed at the end of the night, barely having the energy to take off her dress. She knew she had a lot of thinking to do, but it could all wait. Sleep took over her body before she could even turn off the lamp. Her world may be falling apart, but a pregnant lady needed her sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Since the prologue is so short I'm posting the second chapter at the same time!**

 _October 2, 2016_

Logan pushed open the front door and pulled his suitcase behind him with a heavy sigh. He looked around the empty flat and had never been more grateful for Odette's frequent shopping trips to Paris as he was at that moment. He knew he couldn't face her right now; couldn't keep up his facade. Not now, not today, and probably not tomorrow either. He tossed his jacket over the back of the couch and headed towards the kitchen to find a snack, but there was nothing in the fridge or pantry. He wasn't hungry any way. He had picked at his eggs that morning in the diner in New Hampshire and still didn't have an appetite. He walked over to the drink cart and decided the situation called for a liquid lunch. It was midday there but his body was still in the Eastern time zone, and if there was ever a reason to drink this early in the day this was it. He poured himself two fingers of scotch and collapsed into the couch.

He had always known it was going to end this way. Of course he had wished deep down in his heart that Rory would tell him to not marry Odette. Confess her love for him and that no matter the cost they should stop this sneaking around and just be happy together. But he lived in the real world. Happily ever after is for children's stories. He was going to do the "right" thing and marry Odette, and Rory was going to write her book and carve out the success he knew she was destined to achieve. Odette was a good woman. She loved him and would be a good wife. As an only child one day she would be the sole heir to her family's considerable fortune which would keep HPG flush with capital that it desperately needed in this era of new media, and she would happily turn that money over to him because she trusted him. Logan took another long gulp of the scotch while he considered what a total bastard he had become.

They were getting married in April, a beautiful spring wedding in Paris. She had agreed to a long engagement because he used the excuse of wanting to finish certain projects at work. He kept stalling on setting a date and she finally put her foot down and told him it was April or never. He should have let her pick never. But that didn't happen. He was a coward once again and didn't tell her the truth. That was his chance. Instead he let his life happen to him. His judgment was so clouded by Rory it was almost like he walked around in a drunken haze. She chose their Vegas agreement and if he could just hold on to her for as long as possible, no matter how tenuous that hold was, he could maybe get her to change her mind. And Rory in any form was better than no Rory at all. He got up and poured himself another scotch.

Walking over to the desk with his desktop computer he pulled open a drawer that held files from work. He pushed back folders until he got to the very back and found what he was looking for- a practically ancient iPod from his time in Palo Alto. He found the charger, hooked it up to his computer and it miraculously blinked on after a few seconds. He scrolled down until he found the playlist he was looking for and pressed play. If he was going to wallow in his self pity he was going to do it properly. The soulful voice of Eddie Vedder came out of his speakers as he sang the opening lines to _Come Back_. He spent many a night drinking alone listening to these songs and it felt fitting to repeat the exercise. This morning had been the end. She was gone from his life forever and they would be left with nothing but the memories.

This was for the best. It was the same thing he had told himself after the rejected proposal and their break up on her graduation day. They needed a clean break this time. Keep telling yourself that, he thought to himself. He had made a commitment to Odette and she to him, when Rory had never been able to give him more than the promise of a couple stolen days every few weeks in a transatlantic affair. Odette was smart, funny, beautiful, and satisfied with the life he could give her. Any man would be crazy to turn that down. Was she perfect? Of course not, but he sure as hell wasn't either. She would never be unfaithful to him, of that he was certain. She would never take middle of the night phone calls from a secret lover while he slept peacefully in their bed. She wouldn't be okay with him sleeping with another woman while she casually dated another man either. While the French may be famously laissez-faire about monogamy, Odette was not one of them. Her father had kept a mistress for many years that led to a nasty divorce and destroyed their relationship. That made Logan even more of a bastard. If she were ever to find out about him and Rory it would crush her. He had become the worst version of himself, he had became his father.

The first few bars of _Going to California_ filled the room and Logan decided one last scotch wouldn't hurt. If you're going to get drunk this early in the day might as well do it right. He sat back down on the couch and put his head in his hands. There were tears in his eyes but he wouldn't let them fall. He didn't have the right to cry. He threw back the last of the liquor and rested his head on the cushions. His last thought before he let sleep over take his body was the picture of her face he had burned into his memory that morning.

* * *

Several hours later Logan groaned as his body woke itself up. He could feel his pulse in his head as it ached in response to all the alcohol. The room was dark and he could hear the music still playing on a loop from the 10 year old iPod that he couldn't believe was still working. He drug himself off the couch noting he had fell asleep with his shoes still on, and made his way to the bathroom. The harsh overhead light made him squint and sent another shooting pain through his head. He managed to find a few aspirin in the medicine cabinet and took in his appearance when he closed the mirrored door. He was a total wreck. There was an imprint of the throw pillow on his face and he must've drooled in his sleep.

He went to the bedroom, changed into clean clothes and ran a comb through is disheveled hair. He picked up his phone and ordered take out. When he hung up he almost instinctively texted Rory to see how she was doing but stopped himself. Shaking his head, he thought what are you doing Logan? She had said it herself. His days of rescuing her were over.

He was going to stop this. He was going to become a better man. He wasn't in love with Odette but he did very much care about her and wanted her to be happy. That had to be enough. He knew there were millions of other people in this world who couldn't say that much about their spouse. He scrolled through his contacts and landed on her name. He sent a text to his fiancé to tell her he was back home in London and missed her. That he couldn't wait for her to get back from Paris. That he had a busy week at work ahead of him but next weekend they should make plans to get away together, somewhere romantic.

It was time to put this childish behavior behind him. He was a man, a man who was going to be a faithful husband to his faithful wife.

 **A/N: I am normally not crazy about songfics but I was thinking about what music Logan would've possibly been listening to so I looked up what was in my playlists circa 2007. I was obsessed with that Pearl Jam album and then _Going to California_ was such an obvious choice. I know it's easy to paint Odette as a villain, or also a cheater, or okay with an open relationship, etc. but I truly don't think that is how she is meant to be portrayed in the revival. Logan wouldn't be sneaking around when she is there, and Rory wouldn't be jealous of her presence. I've been cheated on before when I was in a long-term relationship, and my ex eventually married the person he cheated with. It's not a fairy tale for the person who is in the dark and I want to be respectful of the character's feelings. It's important for Logan (and Rory) to acknowledge that they have been very cruel to the people they were publicly dating. **


	3. Chapter 3

The morning after the wedding Rory was awakened from a dreamless sleep by the feeling of something wet on her hand. It was after 8:00 am and Paul Anka was getting impatient for his breakfast so he decided to lick her hand and whine until she got out of bed. Once she returned to consciousness and realized where she was and why her mom's dog was in her room she thought to herself great, I can't even be responsible enough to feed a dog on time, how can I be responsible for a human baby? Her phone was beeping with two texts from her mom checking on her mental and physical state, and she quickly typed out a quick okay with no further elaboration.

After filling Paul Anka's bowl with fresh food and water she took a hot shower to wash the party off of her. April emerged from the living room where she had slept on the couch and after making an awkward joke about them now being step-sisters she bid Rory a farewell. After April made her exit Rory decided to take Paul Anka on a stroll through town.

After stopping in Luke's for a cup of coffee to go Rory made her way over to the town park. She sat down on a bench and Paul Anka lay down with his head resting on her feet. Rory reached down to rub his head between his ears and the dog let out a contented sigh. What an easy life for a dog she thought to herself. There were several families enjoying the beautiful autumn morning and a group of young boys playing a pickup game of baseball. Could she do this? Could she be one of these moms?

There were several children on the jungle gym, racing up the ladder and down the slide over and over again, their mothers keeping a watchful eye and chit chatting about whatever it is that moms their age talk about. There was a boy and a girl about ten years old who looked to be siblings about to come to blows by the baseball field. A man who appeared to be their dad was walking over to intervene. As the boy started to put his sister in a headlock the dad picked up his pace and ran over. "Caleb! Stop that right now! Leave your sister alone!" he shouted. None of it looked fun or even enjoyable to Rory.

There was another mom pushing a toddler on a swing and the little girl giggled and waved to her mother each time she pushed the swing further away. She was adorable, Rory thought, with a striped dress over patterned tights and velcro tennis shoes, and a wild mass of honey blonde ringlets around her face. Maybe if she had a child like that... She wondered if Shira had ever taken Logan or Honor to the park and pushed them in a swing. More than likely not, and she rolled her eyes to herself. Did Logan want kids to make up for all the things he didn't get to experience as a child? Did he want children with Odette? Of course they had probably discussed it. You don't marry someone without knowing their thoughts on reproducing. There was probably a clause in their pre-nup.

Could she do this? Did she even want to do this? Having children was one of those vague dreams she had always assumed would happen one day. But in the past ten years since her college graduation there hadn't been one man who had even made her consider having a baby. She wanted to pursue her career, then get married, then have a baby. That was the supposedly correct order to do things. She spent the two years after graduation getting over Logan, the next five dating nice men who always left something to be desired and the past almost three years in a tangled, messy, emotionally fraught affair with Logan while she desperately tried to convince herself it was anything but. They were just having fun she told herself. She could walk away at any moment she had told herself.

When Odette moved in with Logan it was the hard dose of reality she needed. She wasn't stupid, she knew that Logan loved her and wanted to pick up where they had left off in college. But he had walked away from her when she needed him the most just because she wasn't ready to get married at 22 years old. That break up almost destroyed her, she didn't think she would ever recover from another one. If they got back together his family would hate her for destroying their "dynastic plan" and she didn't want to be responsible for that.

When they had first reconnected he explained that he went back to the family business because his father asked him to help save it after the financial collapse in 2008, and he felt obligated to try for the thousands of employees that depended on HPG. He was willing to give up his career in California for the company but she also knew it was mostly for his father's approval. She knew if she asked him to leave Odette and her family's very sizeable bank account that he would, and the fallout would be epic. His family would be furious, as if they didn't hate her enough as it was. She didn't want him to grow to regret choosing her over his family...his destiny. His father would see to it that she would never be successful in journalism again. She missed him so much as it is, and she couldn't even fathom how bad it would feel if they didn't make it and she had to explain to the world that she was a failure at both journalism and loving Logan Huntzberger twice in her life. When she suggested they have another no-strings attached relationship it was for her own self-preservation.

If she decided to keep the baby she knew she would tell Logan and he of course would want to be involved in the child's life. Despite what her father had said she knew it wasn't "in the stars" that her mother raised her alone. Lorelai didn't go into the witness protection program; he could've been in her life if he wanted. She wouldn't choose that for her baby. It deserved to have a relationship with Logan. And hiding the baby from him would be next to impossible even if she tried. She would be connected to him for at least the next eighteen years, but more realistically her entire life. She would have to see him and the entire Huntzberger family regularly. Oh god, she would have to see him and Odette together. Odette would be her child's step-mother. What if she treated her baby terribly for being the product of an affair? What if she loved it and her child loved her back? Rory couldn't decide which situation would be worse. What if Odette leaves him when she finds out and Logan would resent her forever for ruining his marriage?

Not continuing the pregnancy would be the easiest choice, that was for sure. Rory didn't know if she could be a mother. She had never had much of a nurturing instinct. It seemed impossibly hard, even for someone like Lane who appeared to like it overall. She wasn't even sure if Paris liked being a mother. She treated her children like a science experiment she undertook in process of becoming an adult. Everything she had ever read or watched about parenthood made it seem like an unpleasant undertaking. A baby would at minimum complicate Logan's life, and at worst would destroy his marriage and relationship with his family. Did she want to be responsible for that?

She was broken from her reverie by the little girl with the blonde curls running up to her. "Pet doggy?" she asked and pointed at Paul Anka with one chubby finger. Her mother came jogging up behind her. "I'm sorry, she's been obsessed with dogs lately and got away from me." Turning to her daughter she said, "Molly we don't touch strange dogs, remember what mommy said?"

"It's ok, he's old and gentle. Paul Anka loves to be petted." Rory got down from the bench to hold Paul Anka's collar just in case she was wrong and he tried to run away from the toddler. She reached out and gently patted his head then turned to her mom and grinned. "Thank you," she said then ran off back towards the playground. Okay, kids can be very cute, she thought to herself. She knew that it's not wise to have a baby to try to solve a problem with your life, but it would give her a purpose and structure to her life that she so desperately needed outside of her career. She looked around at all the parents at the playground. They didn't seem unhappy actually, even the ones dealing with fighting siblings. She also took in their ages. They all looked her age or younger. I'm not getting any younger, Rory thought to herself. Women's reproductive systems have a timer, and while she wasn't ancient, she didn't have forever either.

Rory knew she wasn't going to be able to come to a decision today anyway, she had some time. She and Paul Anka made their way back to her mom's house and she decided to take her mind off of everything by getting some work done on her book. After two hours of just sitting at the kitchen table staring at a blank screen interspersed with Babette dropping in to make sure she fed Paul Anka and Sookie dropping off some fresh jam, she knew writing was not going to happen there. It took her less than ten seconds to come up with a new plan for the week. She emailed her "team" at the Gazette to let them know she would be working remotely for the week, threw some clothes into a bag and loaded up her car with a bag of dog food. She and Paul Anka hit the road for Hartford.


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting at her grandfather's desk in his study, with the smell of his cigars and scotch still in the air and Rory's painted portrait hanging on the wall looking over her, the words to her book flew out of her mind onto the keys of her laptop at almost lightening speed. The first day she worked until after 7:00, only interrupted by the buzzing of her phone. It was her mom calling from her and Luke's honeymoon. Rory knew the information bomb she dropped on her the day before must be killing her, but she was still not ready to really talk about it out loud any more than necessary. Still, she knew Lorelai would not stop calling if she didn't answer. She picked up the phone and braced herself for what was to about to come.

"Well if it isn't the blushing bride. Are you still considered a blushing bride on your honeymoon?"

"Don't know, but Luke gave me plenty to blush about last night."

Rory made a face, "Ewww, no dirty talk about you and Luke. Don't make me hang up on you."

"I have it on good authority that you're no innocent when it comes to all things dirty."

"Still doesn't mean I need to hear about my mom and step-father doing dirty things."

"Hey, you started it. I can't help it if my mind goes to the gutter every chance it gets."

"Good point. So how is Ireland? Is it as green as I remember?"

"We just got to our hotel about 20 minutes ago, but from what I could see on the cab ride over it's just a lot of streets and buildings. Not that much different than Connecticut. Hoping to see a four leaf clover tomorrow though."

"I'm sure it'll be amazing tomorrow once you guys rest up after all your travels. Dublin is so much fun, and the countryside is really beautiful."

"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm sure it'll be great. Enough about all that, how are you doing? How are you feeling? Have you talked to you-know-who yet? Did you make a doctor's appointment?"

"Mom, calm down. I feel fine and haven't done anything yet. I've been writing all day. I decided to go back to Hartford and write at Grandma's again. I don't want to think about any of it right now."

"Rory, I get it. I respect that you want to be in denial for as long as possible, but you need to at least tell him that you're pregnant. And I don't like the thought of you all alone in that big house. You'll start acting like a shut in."

"I'm not in denial, I'm very, very aware of the situation mom, trust me. I just needed to clear my head. This is obviously the most important decision I've ever had to make. And I'm not alone, Paul Anka is keeping me company. I'm going to run into town for groceries tomorrow, I'll be surrounded by other humans."

"Okay...can I say just one thing?"

Rory braced herself for whatever opinion her mother was bound to state if she gave her permission or not. "Shoot."

Lorelai took a deep breath, "Just because I had you when I was sixteen doesn't mean I'll judge you if you get an abortion. It was the right choice for me and I don't regret it for one second of course because you were the best thing that has ever happened to me, but that doesn't mean it'll be the right choice for you. And I'm not saying that's what I think you should do either. I have no official position here. Consider me Switzerland. I support you no matter what."

Rory closed her eyes trying to hold back the tears that were forming. "Thanks mom, I know you won't, but it means a lot to hear you say it. And I swear I'm not leaning either way. There's so many factors. I do want to have a baby someday, but I don't know if now is the right time. And a baby would ruin Logan's life."

"I think you should let Logan decide that for himself. Don't make this choice based on what is best for Logan, make it based on what is best for you."

Rory let the tears fall, "Then I guess I'm back at square one," she sighed.

"God kid, I hate not being there right now. Do you want me to come home? I can have that cab take me right back to the airport."

"No mom! You're on your honeymoon. You should be focusing on you and Luke, not me. And I don't want Luke to know yet. I think he might ask some questions if you leave your honeymoon 30 minutes in. I'll text and check in every day, I promise."

"Okaaaaaay...twice a day. But if I go more than twelve hours without hearing from you I swear I'm getting on a plane."

"Okay mom, I promise, twice a day. But I want you to promise me you're not going to spend the next six days obsessing over this. You're a Gilmore in Ireland! Go to pubs, and castles, touch the blarney stone, stare into the ocean from the top of a windswept cliff, drink Guinness, find a leprechaun and steal his pot of gold."

"Fine, but only because those leprechauns had it coming."

"Okay, I'll text you tomorrow morning. Love you mom."

"Love you too kid."

Rory ended the call and leaned back in her desk chair stretching out her back. She was so incredibly tense. It didn't help that her hormones were racing either. She knew that her mom was right about one thing though, she needed to make this choice based on what was best for her, not Logan. She didn't want to ruin his marriage to Odette or his relationship with his family, but she was the one who was pregnant and right now she needed to worry about what was best for her first. Just then her stomach growled and reminded her she hadn't eaten dinner yet. How could a Gilmore forget to eat? She got up and headed into the kitchen with Paul Anka eagerly following on her heels.

* * *

Later that night she laid in bed, in her old room that her grandmother had set up for her years ago when she went to Chilton. Then during her time off from Yale it was where she was banished after her grandparents discovered she was having sex with Logan in an attempt to keep them from getting up to any funny business in the pool house. If she had gotten pregnant then she wonders what would've happened. While it would've been an easy choice to have an abortion at 21 because she had dropped out of Yale and was living with her grandparents, she and Logan were deeply in love in a committed relationship. He would've proposed right away and they would probably still be married right now. Maybe she'd resent him for not encouraging her to finish her degree and become a journalist, and he'd resent her for forcing him to join the family business and never try to make it on his own. But look at them now, she not much of a journalist as it is and he ended up working for his father anyway. Maybe instead of resenting each other they'd be happy like her grandparents had been, living in Hartford and building a life together.

She's mad at herself for letting this happen. She'd been on the pill since the week she returned from her summer hiding out in Europe after she lost her virginity to Dean, and was being honest with her mom when she told her she'd never once missed. Even when she traveled she would set the alarm on her phone to adjust for the time difference. Her doctor had suggested moving to an easier form of birth control that didn't require daily maintenance but she had reasoned why mess with what works. Of course Rory knew nothing was one hundred percent effective, she should've used condoms as a backup, but the truth was her and Logan hadn't used condoms since they lived together in college. After she moved in they had a conversation about it, they knew they were committed and faithful to each other so they both got tested. When the results came back clean, as she knew hers would and was just a tiny bit apprehensive for his, they symbolically threw away the box of condoms and made love in what was now their bed. He held her as she fell asleep that night and Rory thought there were never two people on this planet who were as happy and in love as they were in that very moment. After the incident at his sister's wedding she considered buying a giant box of Trojans and leaving it on the nightstand, a giant welcome home middle finger for him when he was released from the hospital after his accident in Costa Rica. But she changed her mind after they talked it through and worked out their issues because that's what they did back then- their relationship more functional at 22 than 32. She loved him and made a conscious choice to trust him and forgive him.

When they reunited in Hamburg over two and a half years ago they used condoms the first few times they had sex but quickly agreed they wouldn't with each other. She made the choice to trust him again, this time not to "cheat" on her with his girlfriend. The irony was not lost on Rory. This was their special relationship and their special thing for only the two of them. They would use condoms with everyone else, although she wasn't seeing anyone at the time anyway and she knew he was only dating Odette. It turned her on to know that she was the only one who got all of him. The physical part of their relationship had never been lacking, Logan was the only guy she had ever been with who brought her to orgasm every single time they had sex. But now that they were older and more experienced, or maybe it was just the forbidden fruit aspect of the affair, the sex was better than it ever had been in college.

The first time they had sex when she would get to London or he would travel to New York it would always be hot and fast, sometimes before they could get all of their clothes off. If her plane landed early he would take a long lunch and she would be waiting for him naked in his bed. One time she got in later in the afternoon and tried to surprise him with a home cooked meal. She burned the chicken but they never had the chance to notice. When he got home he ripped off her panties, bunched up her skirt, sat her on the counter top and buried his face in between her legs until she came so hard she literally thought her heart was going to explode out of her chest. Then he turned her around and entered her from behind while he guided her hand to touch herself and come again. It was by far the hottest, sexiest thing she had ever done. Even more than the time he met her at the airport with a limo and they fucked in the backseat. It was like Logan intoxicated her brain and made her do and say things she would never think about doing under sober conditions. The next day when she was disinfecting the entire kitchen, not just the spot where they had sex, he laughed at her and said that's what he paid a housekeeper for, but she ignored him and kept scrubbing. It was like she needed to do penance for her sins. And not just because she had sex with another woman's fiancé, but also she didn't feel the least bit guilty.

Later in the night though, after he had taken her to dinner, sat through a musical she drug him to or they had just spent the night hanging out together on his couch, Logan would take off her clothes like she was a gift he was carefully unwrapping and they would make love. His kisses were somehow gentle and passionate in equal parts, she would wrap her legs around his waist and after he came he would stay in place for several minutes, his forehead resting on hers just looking into her eyes. It was the same look he gave her all those years ago. Rory squeezed her eyes shut and could almost hear their ragged breathing as he would say "that was amazing Ace, god I've missed you." They were in love and nothing and no one else existed while they were safely ensconced in the darkness of his bedroom. Sometimes the next day she would be working or flying back to the real world and she could feel him spilling out of her. Sex without condoms was raw and messy and real. And instead of being an inconvenience she would smile to herself because it secretly turned her on and connected him to her like nothing else.

So yes, she knew she was risking becoming one of the 0.01% failure rate. It was a risk that seemed oh-so-worth-it at the time. But she asked herself, if she knew what the results of that night in New Hampshire were going to be, would she have taken it back? Images of that night flashed through her brain like a movie reel and she felt her entire body flush.

Nope, never in a million years.

* * *

 **A/N: I changed the rating from T to M just to be in the safe side, although I don't think this is too risqué. Added the section about Rory's bc because really, girl needs to get herself a LARC and use condoms if she's not in a committed monogamous relationship. She knows better.**


	5. Chapter 5

Monday morning came early as she didn't want to forget to feed and let out Paul Anka two mornings in a row. There wasn't much to eat for breakfast in the kitchen, but Rory did find some peanut butter and jelly that must have been left by Berta's kids. She sent a quick text to her mom that everything was a-okay in Hartford, then her and Paul Anka sat on the patio on the unseasonably warm fall morning while she ate pb&j toast with coffee. She had a good feeling about the chapter she wrote yesterday and wanted to get started on the next one while her brain was in the zone for writing.

After three straight hours of writing Rory took a break to stretch and find a snack, but nothing new had magically materialized itself in the kitchen so she decided she couldn't put off the aforementioned grocery shopping any longer. An hour and a half later as she was unloading her car she realized why you're not supposed to go to a supermarket hungry. While Gilmores liked to eat, the fifteen bags of food were a little much even for her. But Rory shrugged her shoulders and thought I am eating for two Gilmores now as she continued loading up the pantry.

After lunch she took Paul Anka for a short walk then retired back to her grandpa's study to write again. Before she knew it, the sun had set and the entire house was dark except for the glow of her laptop. She was very happy with the progress she was making. Rory wanted to do her mom's story justice and, at least to her, it was looking good. She rewarded herself with a night of eating dinner in front of the television watching mindless trashy reality shows.

The next day was election day. To say Rory was excited about the possibility of the first female president was an understatement. She had sent in an absentee ballot weeks ago since she was still technically registered in New York and she was bummed about not getting her "I Voted" sticker. She briefly contemplated going to a polling station to explain her situation and ask for one but thought maybe that was a little extreme.

She kept the same schedule as the day before, writing all day in between breaks to eat and an afternoon walk for Paul Anka. It was her tradition on election days to eat pizza and drink wine while watching the results come in, so even though she had bought enough food for at least a month the day before she ordered the pizza anyway. Unfortunately her grandmother didn't keep sparkling cider anywhere in the house that she could find so she settled for a club soda. At the last minute she decided to invite Lane over to watch with her and to tell her about the pregnancy.

It was a big secret and even though she had told her mother that she needed time to be alone and think it over, she really needed to tell her best childhood friend. She and Lane had shared everything over the years, and Rory was the first person she had confided in when she found out she was pregnant with the twins. Plus Lane was the only person who knew about the affair with Logan, until she had confessed to her mother, and she had become the voice of reason that convinced her to break it off. Lane happily left the boys with Zach for the night for a night of girl talk. About an hour later the doorbell rang and Rory greeted her with a big hug that lasted about fifteen seconds too long.

"Hey Ror, it's good to see you too but is everything okay?" Lane said as Rory squeezed her friend.

Rory realized she was being a little dramatic and pulled back, "Yeah, just happy to see you, that's all. I've done nothing but write for three days straight and I guess I'm a little starved for human interaction." She hoped her friend would buy that excuse and not suspect anything.

"Alllllright...speaking of starvation where's this pizza I was promised? I'm famished. My mom stopped by with tofu burgers for the boys and I couldn't even pretend to choke one down." They got pizza from the kitchen on paper plates and settled in the living room with their food and drinks. Emily Gilmore would've been horrified at the sight so Rory took a picture and texted it to her mom. Luckily Lane didn't think anything was amiss when Rory offered her a soda since she had never been much of a drinker.

After flipping through the channels and finishing their first two slices of pizza each Rory took a deep breath and turned to her friend, "I have something to tell you. It's big, like really, really big."

Lane's eyes got wide, "Good big or bad big?"

"Well, I'm not sure. It could be good big, but right now I mostly feel like it's bad big."

"It concerns Logan, doesn't it?"

It was Rory's turn for her eyes to bug out, "How did you know? My mom is the only one who knows."

"Relax Rory, Lorelai hasn't told me anything. It's just obvious when it comes to you two. You've been acting off the past few weeks, and then you run off to your grandparent's house to write instead of hanging out in Stars Hollow. So what happened? Did he call you? Did he leave his fiancé? He wants to get back together, doesn't he?"

Rory's eyes filled up with tears. God, how she wished that was the case. How much easier her life would be right now if it was as simple as him calling her up to announce he had left Odette and wanted the two of them to be together for the whole world to see.

"Oh no, Rory, what's wrong? You can tell me. What did he do? I'll kill him, I swear it. If I have to go to prison it'll be worth it. Zach will have to bring the boys to visit every Sunday and I'll tell them it's worth going to prison to avenge your best friend's broken heart."

"I'm pregnant."

There was a silence for a moment, and then Lane reached over and hugged her friend. "It's going to be okay. I promise. I know this seems like a hopeless situation right now, but I promise it'll be okay. Being a mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"I don't know if I want to be a mom," Rory whispered looking down. Then she looked up to search her friend's eyes for judgment but found none. "Oh, well in that case I stand by my previous statement. Everything is going to be okay, no matter what you do."

"Thanks. It means a lot to have your support." And Rory sincerely meant it. She had always considered her mom her best friend, but she was still her mom. Lane was that best girl friend you needed in a time like this.

"Have you talked to him? Do you want to know what he thinks?"

"No, if I decide to keep it I'm going to tell him, but right now I have no desire to have that conversation. I'll be destroying his perfect life with his perfect fiancé."

"Destroying his life? I seriously doubt that. What is she like? Have you seen her? I bet she's just the worst. Logan is probably dying for an excuse to leave her. Maybe you'll be doing him a favor."

Rory rolled her eyes at that last comment. Of course she had googled Odette; she didn't have the kind of willpower to even pretend she didn't want to know. She pulled out her phone and brought up Odette's Wikipedia page, and handed it over to Lane.

"She has her own Wikipedia page? You're kidding me."

"Just read it."

Lane read aloud, "Odette Charlaine Vauthier, born January 10, 1989, in Paris, France, is the only child of Charles and Aurore Vauthier. She studied at the Paris Opera Ballet School where she went on to become a member of the Paris Opera Corps de Ballet from 2007-2010. Upon leaving the Paris Opera Ballet she was admitted to the Sorbonne and was awarded a degree in art history in 2014. She is currently the chairwoman of the Vauthier International Trust Foundation, the philanthropic arm of Vauthier International that focuses its charitable donations towards improving access to the arts for disadvantaged children. She resides in London, England, with her fiancé Logan Huntzberger, the expected successor to Mitchum Huntzberger as CEO of the Huntzberger Publishing Group." Lane then clicked on the pictures. The first was Odette dancing as her namesake in Swan Lake, the next was Don Quixote, and the last was a picture of her and Logan at a society event. He looked as handsome as ever in a tux and she was wearing a form fitting, long sleeved floor length red gown that showed no skin but left nothing to the imagination at the same time. She was tall and willowy, her skin was like flawless porcelain, her smile was as big and white as a toothpaste commercial, and her hair was in perfect lush honey blonde waves that looked more appropriate for a California beach goddess than a French ballerina. Logan was smiling straight at the camera and she was looking up at him adoringly with her hand protectively on his chest, conveniently displaying her million dollar engagement ring.

"Ugh, what a bitch, I hate her," Lane declared.

Rory had to laugh at her unfledgling solidarity. "You don't even know her, how can you hate her? I'm sure she's perfectly nice. And of course she also happens to have the perfect dancer's body, impeccable hair and skin, she's smart enough to get into the Sorbonne, and don't forget she's rich and runs a charity that helps poor children." Rory could never compete with her and she knew it. She was a broke failed journalist living in her grandparent's vacant house in Hartford.

Lane turned to face Rory and looked her dead in the eye. "And she has your man. We hate her."

"He is not my man Lane. I lost that privilege many, many years ago. I was the one who turned him down, remember?"

"Rory, he is _your_ man. He loves _you_. He flew across the Atlantic Ocean for just one night to cheer you up, and now you're carrying _his_ baby." Rory's eyes began to fill with tears. God how much she wanted him to be hers but it all seemed so impossible, such a mess she had made. Lane continued, "Look, I know I encouraged you to break it off with him, and at the time I thought it was the right choice. But the reason I said that is I wanted you to be happy and I thought he was just making you unhappy. But have you been happy since then? Because even before this pregnancy bombshell you haven't been happy. But you know when you were happy? When you two were together at Yale."

"I haven't been unhappy for the past ten years."

"I'm not saying that you've been sitting at home pining away for Logan since your graduation day, but admit it. The last time you were happy in a relationship was with him. You haven't let yourself get serious with anyone since him."

"It's not that simple Lane. It's not just about us. It's about the money too. Mainly Odette's money. He never actually came out and said it, but his company needs her family's money. If he were to leave Odette for me his family will be furious. It would destroy their relationship."

"Well if he never came out and said it do you really know that Rory? Are you sitting in on accounting meetings or board meetings or whatever fancy corporate world things that determine this stuff? Maybe you should give him some more credit and let Logan decide for himself what he wants."

The tears were now falling from her eyes. "That's exactly what my mom said."

"That's because me and Lorelai have mom wisdom. And if you have that baby you'll get it too."

"What do you think I should do? Be honest."

"Rory I can't tell you what to do. This is the biggest decision of your life and I don't want to influence it."

"It's okay, I know all that. I just want to know what you would do if you were me." Rory was desperate for actual input. She was going crazy being left alone with her thoughts.

"You want to have kids ever?"

"I'm pretty sure. I had always just assumed I would someday."

Lane sighed then smiled, "I'd have it." She paused for Rory to respond.

"Even with all the inevitable drama?"

"Yes, if I could live my life over I would have Steve and Kwan all over again in a heartbeat. I meant it when I said being a mom is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Yes it was hard at times, especially with twins, and it meant sometimes I had to put my music career on the back burner, but knowing I made these two incredible little people who love to make me laugh over fart jokes is worth all the sacrifices."

Rory smiled through tears, "Really?"

"Really."

"What about the bad stuff? I want to be realistic. From everything I've read and seen, having babies looks totally awful."

"Well I had two babies inside me, so my perspective might be skewed. And although it's been 10 years, I can say with authority the aching back and swollen ankles sucked. And you know what Mother Nature's cruelest joke is? That sleeping while pregnant is almost impossible even though you need to rest because you know soon there's going to be a baby keeping you up all night. You're never comfortable and once you do get comfortable and start to fall asleep you have to pee again! But I actually didn't think being in labor was the worst thing ever since lots of drugs were involved. It was no walk in the park but it wasn't the living hell that movies make it out to be. It's after they're born that's the hard part. You have no idea what being tired really means until you have a newborn- just complete and total exhaustion. And then there's that whole poopy diaper thing. And leaky boobs. And then they start teething. And that's just the baby years."

"Wow, you're really not selling it here."

Lane realized she had gone on a rant and was scaring Rory on the idea of parenthood altogether. It was hard to quantify the joys of being a mom when the day to day chores of raising kids can be so hard. "But then when Kwan was like two and a half he started crawling in bed with us at five o'clock every morning. He would snuggle up to me and sleep for a few more hours, then he'd kiss my nose to wake me up and the first thing I'd see every morning was his little baby smile and he'd say 'good morning mommy.' It made everything worth it." Lane smiled to herself remembering when her boys were little. "I loved it when they were babies and I could rock and cuddle them for hours, but to be honest sometimes babies can be little boring. It sounds like a cliché but it's true that watching them grow up and learn and develop their own personalities is so rewarding. It's a huge responsibility and some days _are_ overwhelming, but it's also so much fun."

Rory took a deep breath, "Thanks, it's good to have your perspective." She was actually relieved to hear this from Lane. There were so many cons swirling through her head up until this point that she was glad to have a different perspective. "And for the record, I think you're a great mom. Steve and Kwan are awesome kids. If I'm half as good a mom as you are I'll be doing something right."

"So you're going to have it?" Lane tried hard to hide her excitement. She knew parenthood wasn't the right choice for everybody, but she knew Rory would make a great mother. And as an only child she was truthfully excited at the prospect of being an "aunt."

"I still don't know. But you have added lots of points to the pro column." And Rory wasn't just trying to appease her friend either, maybe a baby wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to happen to her? "Can we just eat some more pizza and watch TV? Right now I just want to be excited about tonight."

Lane just smiled and nodded her head. She didn't want to push too hard, and she remembered exactly how she felt all those years ago when she unexpectedly discovered she was pregnant. But as the night wore on both of the women's excitement died down until it became dread. What started out like a fun girl power night had turned into the true shock of a lifetime. Lane offered to stay with Rory so she wasn't alone but by midnight she was exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep. She promised Lane she would call her the next day and watched her drive out of the long driveway. As she made her way up the stairs to her bedroom she realized feeling numb wasn't just an expression, but something she was living out in real time. She methodically removed her clothes and put on her pajamas, then crawled into bed without even brushing her teeth. Rory couldn't even force herself to think about the world outside the door to her grandparent's home, Logan or the baby. She fell into a long, dreamless sleep.

* * *

Rory awoke the next day feeling like she was hung over. She ran to the adjoining bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach until she was dry heaving nothing but stomach acid. She lay on the cool bathroom floor for several minutes until she drug herself up and quickly brushed her teeth. In the shower she let the water wash away the previous night and stared down at her body. Her breasts already felt heavier and tender to the touch. This morning was the first time there was any physical signs she was pregnant aside from the two pink lines on a positive pregnancy test. Rory ran her hand over her stomach and tried to imagine it becoming round with a growing baby inside.

Afterwards she went downstairs to feed Paul Anka and make a light breakfast that would hopefully calm her still queasy stomach. She settled back on the couch with her coffee and toast, her hair still wet from the shower and flipped on the news. As she watched Hillary Clinton's concession speech Rory felt a physical shift in her world. As she listened to the words tears filled her eyes, but instead of sadness, Rory felt stronger and more determined than she had been in months...maybe years. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; she knew what she was going to do.

She picked up her cell and typed out a quick text, "Let's have a baby."

* * *

 **a/n : I wrote this chapter months ago and have revised it approximately 598 times. It was hard getting just the right tone between Rory and Lane. I don't know if it's out of character for Lane to defend the affair, but those are the words that just came out as I was typing. I also didn't know how much I wanted to put the election into the storyline, but ASP made it a point to write the date of Luke and Lorelai's wedding on the sign (although it's slightly incorrect because Nov 5 was a Saturday and Lorelai said the wedding was on a Sunday) so I couldn't just ignore major current events. Rory and Lane's pizza and wine night is a tradition my best friend and I have had on election nights for the past 10 years, so I had to throw that in. My son had day camp this week so I thought I would get a ton of writing done, but of course my husband got into a minor car accident and I spent almost all my time on the phone with insurance and repair shops and only got half a chapter finished. I'm posting one chapter per week and at this point I'm going to be out of saved material in 6 weeks. Hopefully once school starts back up I can set aside more time to write and be able to keep updating in a timely fashion.**


	6. Chapter 6

Rory set about her writing with a passion that she was sure she had never felt before in her journalistic career. As she sat in her grandfather's study with her laptop open and a yellow legal pad in front of her, she jotted down notes with his fountain pen and typed furiously without regard for even spelling or punctuation. She had written over 10,000 words before she was jolted from her pursuit by the shrill chime of her phone. She answered without looking at the caller ID; completely forgetting about the life changing text she had sent hours earlier. "Hello-" she was cut off before she could pronounce the last syllable.

"Are you for real? Is it really going to happen?" It actually took Rory a second to comprehend what her mother was talking about. She had been resolute in her decision earlier that morning but mysteriously forgot about it as she became immersed in her writing. It was as if she had immediately accepted that her entire future was now altered and everyone else should have been telepathically informed and already on board with it.

"Yes, it's for real. I want to have this baby, and I hope you're okay with it." Rory had known her mother would be supportive no matter what she decided, but she also wanted her mom to be happy about it too.

"Are you kidding? Rory I'm thrilled. No it's not the ideal circumstances but I'm so happy for you kid. I know you're going to be an amazing mom, and more importantly I'm going to be an amazing grandma. I'm not even mad about being called a grandma, that's how happy I am."

"Thanks mom, you really don't know how much it means to hear you say that."

"So, what made you decide to keep it?"

"Well first of all, I talked to Lane last night and she said some things that gave me look a different perspective. And then the election happened-"

"I heard," Lorelai interrupted, "how are you coping? It's surreal to not be in the country when something so historic and crazy happened."

"I'm not sure about everything I'm feeling to tell the truth, but what I do know is it hit me this morning, I have the opportunity to bring a new person into this world. And hopefully if I do things right, he or she will be a good person who will make a positive impact on this world either large or small. And not to be too melodramatic, but we need as many good people as we can get on this planet." Rory smiled to herself as she realized this was the first time she had said the words out loud: she was going to have a baby, she was going to be a mother, and she was excited about that prospect.

"Awww kid, I'm just so happy. You are going to do things right, because you're you and you can do anything you set your mind to. This kid is going to be awesome, mark my words."

"And I'm not finished, another thing happened this morning. Epiphanies hitting me left and right-"

"You're on a roll."

"I need to be writing about politics again. I quit after I left D.C. because I lost my passion for political journalism. But I'm watching and reading about everything and I realized my voice needs to be out there. Yes, I know there are literally hundreds of investigative reporters out there right now doing amazing work that I've pretty much been ignoring, and they're soooo much farther ahead of the curve than me right now, but that means I'm just going to have to catch up with them to get my stuff published. I've been researching and writing all morning and already have an outline for my first spec piece."

"Rory that's great. Not the election, that's not great, but your passion for writing is great. I need to stop saying the word 'great.' It's outstanding, terrific, swell, hunky dory, the cat's pajamas, peachy keen."

"I'll be sure to tell Bobby Darin you approve of the new direction in my career."

"So what does this mean for your book? Is that done?" Lorelai tried to hide the apprehension in her voice. She was still not thrilled about being the star of her daughter's family memoir-slash-tell all but didn't want it to let on since she wanted to be as supportive as possible.

"Not at all, the book is still on. I can do both. I finished two more chapters this week already. Grandpa's study is like this magic portal to writing nirvana. I have never felt more focused in my life. I'm not going to let having a baby set me back, you taught me a woman can be a mom and have a successful career. Plus the great thing about being a freelancer is I can work from anywhere."

"Sounds like you've thought of everything. Except maybe how Logan figures into all of this."

Rory closed her eyes and instantly felt queasy at the mention of his name. "I know..."

"You have to tell him Rory."

"I'm going to tell him," she said defensively, "I'm not going to keep this from him, mom. It's just kinda huge, life altering news. I can't just send him an email or text that I'm pregnant with his love child. I need a plan, and I've been way too busy writing to come up with one."

"I just don't want you to pull an Anna Nardini."

"Mom I would never 'Anna Nardini' Logan, or any man for that matter. Just give me a minute; I wasn't even sure I wanted to have this baby four hours ago." She was ranting but didn't care. Rory really did not want to be discussing this with her mom until she had a battle plan of how to inform Logan she was carrying his baby.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. It's all going to work out. Try not to stress too much; it's not healthy for you or the baby..." Lorelai paused, waiting for Rory to respond but there was nothing but silence on the other end. "Can I tell Luke? If not I need to come up with an excuse for why I screamed when I picked up my phone this morning. And he's going to be done with his shower in about 20 seconds so we're going to have to come up with a story fast."

"No, I'd love for you to tell him. I'm quite alright with him learning about this with an ocean between us. It's kind of awkward discussion to be having with your step-dad no matter how old you are."

"Deal, but I'm not telling my mother for you. You're all on your own for that one, but I get a front row seat. Although I'm sure she'll find a way to make this a failing on my part."

"I'm banking on her overlooking the circumstances of its conception once she finds out this child is a Huntzberger."

"Never underestimate Emily Gilmore's ability to find the silver lining in the face of a scandal."

"Exactly. Now get back to your honeymoon. I have more writing to do."

"Okay, take care of yourself kid. Get some rest and eat healthy food and all that stuff."

"Will do, bye mom." Rory hung up the phone and realized the queasiness in her stomach had not gone away and the familiar sensation of impending vomit came over her body. She needed to get to the downstairs bathroom but didn't make it farther than two steps before she emptied the contents of her stomach in the trash can under the desk. She sat on the floor trying to decide whether she needed to vomit again or if she was okay to get up, and generally feeling sorry for herself. Paul Anka came over to lie next to her and put his head in her lap. "Thanks buddy, you're a good friend," she croaked out while rubbing his head between his ears. Her throat was burning and she felt the energy that had been driving her to write all morning drain out of her body like water in a bathtub.

After she drug herself off the floor and made her way into the kitchen to get a bottle of water and a few crackers, she thought that maybe she should get on that doctor's appointment. Ideally she would call her regular gynecologist in New York whom she liked a lot, but making a trip all the way to the city for what she suspected was a routine pregnancy visit felt a little unnecessary. After about ten minutes of browsing yelp reviews she found a doctor in Hartford who accepted her insurance that seemed acceptable. She toyed with the idea of calling Paris for a recommendation but didn't want to go there yet. Rory could live without the comments on her life choices from her well meaning friend for as long as possible.

As luck would have it the overly perky receptionist informed her they just had a cancellation for that Friday if she wanted to take the now open appointment slot. She was worried that her mom would be upset if she went to her first doctor's appointment without her, but Rory didn't want to wait if she didn't have to. The sooner she saw a doctor and knew everything was okay medically, the sooner she could tell Logan. She took the appointment and sent Lane a text to see if she would join her so she wouldn't be alone. Of course Lane was overjoyed at the news that Rory had decided to keep the baby and jumped at the chance to support her best friend.

Rory spent the rest of the afternoon in her bedroom outlining the next chapter of her book with a pen and paper because the glow of her computer screen was giving her the worst headache. Although she didn't vomit again for the rest of the day, there was a constant low level of queasiness that had her on the verge at all times.

The next thing Rory knew she was lying on her bed and the room was pitch black. She had fell asleep writing out her article longhand. Paul Anka was quietly snoring at her feet. Oh if Emily Gilmore could see a shaggy mutt sleeping on her linen duvet, she thought and smiled to herself.

Looking at her phone she saw it was only 8:30 but she was so exhausted it felt like it was after midnight. Paris and Lane had told her of the fatigue of being pregnant but nothing compared to actually experiencing it. Rory felt like keeping her eyes open itself was a monumental task. After much mental bucking up she got a quick snack, fed Paul Anka and then went back upstairs to change into her pajamas. Before she settled into bed she quickly got online and ordered two books on pregnancy.

As tired as her body felt sleep didn't take hold immediately. Her mind was racing, thinking of all the monumental changes she was experiencing. She was going to have a child. She was going to be a mother, and Logan was going to be a father. How was she going to tell him? His reaction would determine how this baby was going to be raised. He could decide to not be involved, marry Odette and live happily ever after in London. Rory doubted he'd do that, the Logan she knew wouldn't turn his back on his child, but it was a possibility.

He would want to be involved. How in the world do you co-parent when you live on different continents? He'd have to tell Odette and his family. Would she stay with him? Rory had never met the woman; she had no idea what she would think of the situation. Odette probably wouldn't be thrilled at the prospect of her husband having a love child with his college girlfriend, but who knows? Maybe they'd make it work and have a modern family that shuttled the kid between households every other week. That sounded terrible but a lot of people did it for the sake of their kid's happiness.

Then of course he could choose the nuclear option: leave Odette, alienate himself from his family, leave HPG, and move back to the U.S. to be a full time dad. Logan and Rory loved each other, that much she knew for sure, and could raise this child together and be a real family. Did she want that? They worked so well together at Yale, but that was 10 years ago. They had both changed so much and had avoided any heavy conversations about their relationship or the rejected proposal. The affair was all about having fun, romantic dates, and hot, wild sex. She knew her heart would never recover if they didn't work out in the end. Getting over Logan the first time was the hardest thing she's ever had to do; there was no way she could bear the pain a second time and put an innocent child through it too.

What a mess they had made. So many people were going to be hurt by their actions. Just look at how she had treated Paul...she strung him on for almost three years because she was too selfish to have an uncomfortable conversation. And he was hardly the first guy she had treated badly in the past 10 years because they would never live up to the Huntzberger legend. She and Logan were going to have to accept that some people may never forgive them.

Rory had been in four relationships since her graduation day including poor Paul. After the 2008 campaign Hugo asked Rory to stay on at _Focus_ to be the chief D.C. correspondent. It was there she met Matthew at a happy hour and felt attracted to a man for the first time since Logan. He was a social worker for the D.C. public schools, about as far away from the privileged lifestyle of Logan Huntzberger as you could get. On their one year anniversary he asked her to move in together and Rory immediately accepted even though a little voice in the back of her head was screaming no. She had learned her lesson about hesitating when a man you loved asked to take the next step.

They found the perfect two bedroom apartment in Georgetown and even put down a deposit and signed a lease. But on moving day Rory found herself having a panic attack and told a heartbroken Matthew that she just couldn't. She took some money out of her trust fund to pay him back her share, then took a page out of the Lorelai playbook and booked a flight to Stars Hollow.

Rory decided she needed a change, a fresh start. She applied and was offered jobs at the _L.A. Times_ , the _Boston Globe, Miami Herald_ , and _Atlanta Journal-Constitution_ but in the end choose to throw caution to the wind and became a freelancer in New York City.

Less than three months after the move she met Alejandro. She wasn't looking for a relationship, but after the first time they had mind blowing sex Rory decided a rebound relationship was just what she needed. For nine months they kept a pattern: they texted no more than four times during the week, never speaking on the phone, and on Saturdays he would take her to one of his family's three Brazilian restaurants, she would be dazzled by his kind and welcoming family, then they'd go back to his apartment and have wild, uninhibited sex. No one except Logan had ever worshipped her body like Alejandro. She knew it wouldn't last but was still sad when he told her he had found someone else and she might be The One.

After Alejandro there was Patrick. Perfect on Paper Patrick is what Lorelai called him. They met at a coffee shop, of course. He was tall, had brown hair, soft hazel eyes and a smile that would make any woman weak at the knees. He was a Princeton alum, an investment banker and had an amazing apartment on Central Park West. He accidentally-on purpose ran into Rory at the same coffee shop for two months before he got up enough courage to ask her out. He didn't kiss her until the second date because he wanted to be a gentleman.

Rory and Patrick dated for two years. It was a steady and uneventful relationship that was never too hot nor too cold. She could sense he wanted to move their relationship forward and move in together or maybe even propose. So instead of telling him she didn't see forever with him, she started taking assignments that had her out of the country for weeks at a time. Patrick finally asked her when the traveling was going to let up and Rory told him hopefully never. He said he understood and gracefully bowed out. Two months later she ran into Logan in Hamburg.

Ten years, she thought to herself, ten years and one bad decision after another when it came to men. Each one was just a means to an end for her. To get her mind off the pain of losing Logan or in Paul's case, to occupy her time when she wasn't with Logan. He was a set up from a friend of a friend. Rory never felt any strong feelings for Paul, but it made her feel better about herself, not worse, when she could leave London and go out with Paul the next night in New York. She was busy too. She had someone else too. Logan wasn't the only one with options. When Paul started calling himself her boyfriend she didn't stop him.

When she imagined herself getting pregnant for the first time it was always with a husband, it would be planned, and she definitely wouldn't be broke and unemployed. And if she was honest she always imagined it would be with Logan. Rory couldn't believe she had put herself in this position and swore to herself she wouldn't let this baby suffer from it's parents' poor choices.

Right before sleep overtook her body Rory wondered how she was going to break the news to Logan. She knew she needed to do it face to face, so a trip to London was imminent. But how was she going to actually say it? Should she just rip the band aid off or preface the announcement with declarations that she didn't expect anything from him if he wasn't prepared to be a father? Don't ramble, Rory, she told herself. He would be confused enough wondering why you're there. She tried to practice saying the words out loud, "Logan, I'm pregnant," but she fell asleep before they could form on her lips.

 **a/n: I don't want to come across as needy, but the last chapter got significantly fewer reviews so please let me know what you think. I hope I'm not losing readers by focusing on Rory's thoughts instead of Logan's for the time being. I want her to tell him quickly too, but I think the set up is important so Rory has a chance to really think through what Rory wants. Don't worry, there will be some fluffy Rogan stuff coming and a HEA, they just have to earn it.**


	7. Chapter 7

_"I didn't know where we stood so I got you your own room."_

 _"Oh, so where's your room?"_

 _"Right across from yours."_

 _"Show me._

 _It felt like they floated up the stairs. When they got inside the room he turned his back to shut the door and when he turns back around she is standing in front of him silently, waiting for him to make the first move. He removes his jacket, throws it on the chair next to him and toes off his shoes. She does the same, mimicking his actions without ever breaking eye contact. Circling behind her, he unzips her dress and let's it fall to her feet and then he methodically rolls her tights down each leg. He stands up and unhooks her plain white bra and spins her around to face him. He pulled the straps forward and let it fall to the ground until she is standing there in nothing but her plain beige silk underwear. Still never taking her eyes off of his she reaches up and pulls her hair out of the ponytail so it cascades down her shoulders._

 _She_ _reaches forward to unbutton his shirt but he quickly does it for her, removing his shirt, pants and socks with lightening speed until he is also left in nothing but his boxer briefs. Logan leans forward to kiss her tentatively, he feels so incredibly nervous. More nervous than their first time all those years ago. They both know this is the last night, the end to what they started a lifetime ago and both want to get it right. They make their way to the bed and he is gently kissing and touching as much exposed skin as he can find. The one thing that will never change is he can't ever get enough of Rory Gilmore. He carefully lays her down and he hovers above her, taking in everything, wanting to remember every detail. She reaches up and puts her hand behind his neck to pull him down for a scorching kiss. When they finally break apart only because of a lack of oxygen he brushes his thumb over her cheek and opens his mouth to speak. To say that he loves her and has always loved her and will keep loving her until the day he dies. To say that he doesn't care about the consequences and to please just ask him to stay-_

 **BEEP BEEP BEEP**

Logan groaned and leaned over to hit the off button on his alarm. He didn't say those words out loud all those weeks ago and now his subconscious was not letting him say them in his dreams. He heard the shower running in the next room and let himself lay there until his snooze went off again, giving himself his daily ten minute allotment of thinking about Rory. Not that he ever made it even close to only thinking about her for just ten minutes, but he had been improving recently. Instead of thinking about her every five minutes he could go hours without picturing her face or wondering what she was doing as long as he let himself get engrossed in his work.

He threw the covers off and forced himself out of the bed, enticed by the scent of coffee brewing at the mini coffee bar Odette had put in their bedroom. She was always up before him; decades of early morning dance classes had conditioned her body to rise early and full of energy. The bathroom door opened and she strode into the room in a silk robe and her hair wrapped up in a towel turban. "Good morning darling," she said with a bright smile, "I was wondering if you were going to be up. You were sleeping so soundly you didn't even flinch when my alarm sounded."

"Sorry I was up late working on the quarterly numbers. I'll make it up to you this weekend, I promise." They had been making plans every weekend since he came back from New Hampshire. If Odette had suspected something had changed in him she was not letting on. She was a social butterfly and was just happy to finally be going to the theater or a new restaurant opening every chance they got.

She just smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "That sounds wonderful. I'll make a reservation."

Twenty minutes later Logan stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist as Odette was leaning in front of the mirror putting on her makeup. He sneaked up behind her to try to give her a quick hug but she gave him a grunt of annoyance. "Darling, you know I love you but don't mess with a woman trying to apply mascara." Logan frowned and quickly turned around to walk into the adjoining closet. "Sorry to disturb your highness."

Finishing her mascara Odette spun around and raised her eyebrows. "Oh come now, don't be such a grump." She walked towards her fiancé and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You know I don't roll out of bed looking this gorgeous."

Logan smiled and leaned down to give her a quick peck on the lips, "O, you know very well that you're beautiful at all times of the day."

"Well while you're singing my praises maybe this would be a good time to revisit our discussion from Monday night."

Logan suppressed a groan and ran his hand through his still damp hair. "O, I don't know why you're in such a hurry. Things are just fine the way they are."

"I don't understand why you're so resistant to the idea. We're getting married; you had to know this was the next logical step."

"But why are you in such a rush?"

"Because I want something that's just ours."

Logan sighed, "Would it really make you happy?" He reminded himself of his decision to put his relationship with Odette first. If Rory wanted this he wouldn't even hesitate. But Odette was the woman who wanted to marry him, not Rory, and Odette's happiness had to be his priority now.

"Yes, you know it would."

"Okay," he smiled, "I'll call a realtor today."

Odette's face lit up and she gave her fiancé a tight hug. "Thank you so much darling. This is going to be so great. We need a home of our own that we both love."

"Tonight we can discuss the specifics and once I get back from my trip next week we can set up some showings."

She looked up, her arms still wrapped tightly around his chest. "Do you have to be gone so long? I think this business trip to America is just another excuse to get out of wedding plans. You know my mother is going to be here next week."

"O, you know I can't help it. Can we stay focused? I agreed to the new house."

"Fine, but I'll be in contact with the agent to have showings lined up all day Saturday from the moment your plane lands."

"I wouldn't expect anything less O." And he really didn't. Once Odette wanted something, her one-track mind stopped at nothing until she achieved her goal. It was one of the things they had in common. He had known the second that she brought up buying a new house that it was just an inevitability. He probably should've agreed to it immediately to save himself the hassle, he thought to himself. "I need to get going and get to the office. I need to prep if I want this trip to be successful. Why don't you pick the realtor, I want it to be someone you like."

Odette angled her head slightly to press a light kiss to his lips, not caring if it smeared her lipstick. "You are the best fiancé a woman could ever ask for, you know that? I'll text you the information once I make the appointments."

Logan gave her a tight smiled and slipped out of her embrace, not wanting to think about how untrue her statement really was. "Sounds great. I really need to finish getting ready and get to the office." He continued his way into the adjoining walk-in closet to get dressed for the day. He really did need to hurry as he had already checked his schedule that morning and it was jam packed. A few minutes later he reemerged into the bedroom to gather his brief case as he heard Odette call out from downstairs she was leaving. He sat on the sofa putting papers back into file folders from the night before when a flash drive fell between the cushions. He reached down to retrieve it when his finger felt something tiny and sharp. Pulling the cushions apart he discovered a small diamond solitaire earring.

Rory's earring.

His immediate emotion was relief. Thank god Odette didn't find it first. For as much jewelry as that woman owned, she would know a small, understated solitaire like this one wasn't hers. His mind flashed with the scenarios of how she would react. Would he try to make up a story to convince her he didn't know how a stray earring had got in their couch? Or would he confess everything to spare her the insult of a weak lie? Everywhere he looked in his house he saw Rory- drinking coffee in the kitchen, curled up on the couch with her laptop, sprawled out naked in their bed...Odette was right, they needed a new house to make a fresh start as a married couple, but not for the reasons she thought. It wasn't so they could pick out light fixtures and furniture together; it was so he could exorcise Rory Gilmore from his life. He had put the past behind him and didn't ever want Odette to be hurt by it. She deserved better than finding the other woman's earring in the couch.

* * *

Later that day Logan opened the small safe he kept in his office that contained confidential business statements, copies of some insurance policies, and a small blue velvet box. He very gently opened the box, like it was a precious antique that could crack at any minute, and stared at the ring inside on the velveteen pillow. He didn't need to look at it, he knew it's design by heart but picked it up anyway. The delicate tapered rose gold diamond band had an oval center diamond with a diamond halo surround. It wasn't gaudy but just big enough to draw attention. A signal to the world a Huntzberger was wearing this ring. And it was so Rory. Not trendy but classic and feminine. And definitely nothing like the ring he bought Odette. That ring was worth more than the GDP of a small nation. He thought of the two proposals. He knew now that the proposal to Rory at a large party the night before her college graduation was not the right time or place, especially since he had told her the week before not to factor him into her career plans, but he is still to this day confused by her response. They loved each other, and even though at the time their futures had so much up in the air he never doubted their love for one another would survive. Despite everything he believed they would still be happy together if they had gotten married all those years ago.

After he returned from his interview in Palo Alto he went straight to an independent jewelry broker and spent hours studying rings to find the perfect one for his perfect girl. Even though he had just lost millions in a bad business deal he wanted Rory to have the best. He wanted her to have his grandmother's ring but that was out of the question since he had very publicly just left HPG. His father wouldn't even talk to him, let alone give him a priceless family heirloom regardless of how much Mitchum had actually come to like Rory personally. And of course there was no way his mother was going to hand over a Huntzberger ring to the woman she saw as completely unworthy of the Huntzberger name. But it didn't matter. A priceless antique heirloom or a brand new ring designed to look like an antique heirloom - as long as his Ace was wearing his ring Logan didn't care. He didn't see her "no" coming from a mile away.

Odette, on the other hand, enthusiastically said yes before he could get all the words out of his mouth. It was only about six months after him and Rory had reunited in Hamburg and all Logan really wanted was to break it off with Odette and be with Rory. When his father had laid out all his cards about HPG's financial future and how the Vauthier fortune could change that future, Logan went to Cartier and bought the biggest diamond they had in stock. The emerald cut diamond Odette was currently sporting on her left hand was almost the size of a baby's fist. He reassured Rory before the announcement in the papers came out that he had only proposed because of Odette's future inheritance and his loyalty to HPG. She had coolly waved it off, used her "Vegas" analogy for the first time, and that, as they say, was that.

Why he kept this particular ring for the past 10 years he couldn't totally explain. He had just needed some connection to her no matter where his life took him. He put the earring inside the box next to the ring and snapped it shut. Closing the safe Logan reminded himself he had far exceeded his daily allotment of obsessing over Rory. Getting back to work had been his constant crutch to distract himself from her. His cell phone rang on his desk and he froze mid-stride when he saw the picture on the screen.

He let it ring three times, debating on whether he should even answer it at all. But he knew Rory wouldn't be calling him unless it was important. They both knew their last meeting was goodbye, so for her to be calling him now couldn't be for two old friends just to catch up. Still, his finger hovered over the accept button for another ring until he quickly touched the screen before it was sent to voicemail.

"Hello?"

Rory was taken aback for a split second. Logan always answered her calls with a "Hey Ace" or "How's it going Ace?" Hello was a standard telephone greeting but not something she was expecting. She took a deep breath and started her conversation like she had rehearsed. "Hi Logan. How's it going? I'm going to be in London for a story next week and thought maybe we could catch up some time." Rory mentally cursed herself for rushing through her opening statement. She had practiced being cool and nonchalant.

"Ummm...I'm good. I'm actually not going to be here next week." He was so confused. What was she was doing calling him? There has to be something else going on. He heard Rory say "Oh," like she was disappointed and he waited for her to say something else but was met with silence. This was very strange indeed. He carried on, "I have meetings in Dallas, Chicago and then Boston all week. I won't be back until next Saturday."

"Oh, okay, oh well, ummm...never mind then. It would've been nice but that's fine. Maybe next time I'm in London. I'll talk to you later. Bye Logan." Click.

And with that she was gone. Logan stared at his phone completely bewildered; like it was a foreign object that he had never encountered before. What in the world was Rory doing? Something was clearly wrong. Maybe he should call her back. She wanted to "catch up?" Was that code for hook up? Did she change her mind and want to continue their affair? As much as Logan ached to just be near Rory again, he knew it would be a bad idea. He would have to start from square one to get over her again. And oh yeah, Odette. How could just one 60 second phone call make him completely forget about his fiancé's existence?

Logan spent the rest of the afternoon trying to finish his work to prepare for all of his meetings next week, but couldn't concentrate. What on earth was going on with Rory Gilmore?

 **A/N: Thank you for all the positive reviews from chapter six. I hope I didn't sound too desperate for feedback! This short set-up chapter will be rewarded with a longer one full plot development next week. Getting inside the mind of a man isn't my forte, hope you liked it.**


	8. Chapter 8

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god_. Rory could not believe what she had just done. As far as all the scenarios she had ran through her head of how that phone call could've gone, this was absolutely the worst case that she hadn't even considered.

Maybe I should just call him back and tell him over the phone, she thought. No, you don't tell someone they're going to be a father over the phone. And she definitely needed to see his face to gauge his true reaction when she broke the news. Rory had always been able to read his face. She wished she could see it right now. Was he confused, angry, annoyed? Ugh, she really wanted a drink. This was going to be a long eight months.

Rory recalled that he said he would be in Boston at the end of next week. On the bright side at least this could save her an international fare. Boston...Boston...Boston...how could she meet with him in Boston after she had already told him she was going to be in London next week? Rory physically cringed when she thought of the one person who could help her get in touch with Logan. This was not going to be pleasant. This is what she got for trying to be sneaky. She should've just came out and said she needed to see him. Now she was going to have to make a phone call that she really, really didn't want to make.

Just then her phone buzzed with a text from Lane. "How'd the call go?" Earlier that morning after her doctor's appointment Lane had helped her formulate this plan of how to break the news to Logan. Clearly they didn't think through all the details, like if he had a week long business trip already planned.

When Lane shown up at 9:00 that morning with a bottle of prenatal vitamins with a big yellow bow on top, Rory started to regret asking her best friend to join her at her first appointment. But she when she was sitting in the exam room waiting for the doctor in that stupid paper vest and sheet, Rory was eternally grateful that Lane wouldn't stop chattering about her new favorite band in an effort to distract her from the overwhelming fear that was settling in her gut. Dr. Turner was kind and nonjudgmental when Rory rambled that she didn't know that many details about the father's family's medical history or whether or not he was going to be there for the delivery. She answered all her questions about her morning sickness, various tests she would need, when and where she could travel, the hospital she would deliver at, her overwhelming fear of labor and delivery, and what would happen if she had two patients in labor at the same time. Dr. Turner assured her that she would have every method of pain relief possible at her disposal, to which Rory responded she wanted every drug she was legally allowed to give her. She also discussed food and drink restrictions, and Rory was shocked to learn she should only have twelve ounces of coffee per day. How was she supposed to function? She also said to limit her stress as much as possible, and Dr. Turner looked to Lane for emphasis. Logan should be the one worried about my stress level, Rory thought, not Lane.

Then the doctor did an internal ultrasound, which Rory was absolutely not prepared for, but she was able to see the fetus, or at least what she was told was the fetus. There was a little flashing on the screen that the doctor told her was a heartbeat. Rory thought it looked like nothing but a black and white blob, but she trusted that the person who had gone to medical school knew what she was talking about. She was measuring at eight weeks and her estimated due date was June 27. It made no sense to Rory since she knew the exact date of conception but the doctor and Lane both told her it was based on the date of her last period. Apparently this was something that was common knowledge to all women except Rory. She was handed a small print out photo of the blob in her uterus and was told to make her next appointment for the following month.

After the ultrasound Lane and the doctor stepped out of the room for Rory to get dressed but she had one more question she was scared to ask earlier. "Dr. Turner, before you go I actually have something else to ask."

"Of course," she said as she closed the door for privacy.

"Well, umm, I haven't actually, um, told the father yet and I've heard from my friends who've had babies that they waited until the end of the first trimester to tell people about their pregnancy because of the chance of miscarriage, and I was just, uh, wondering what are the odds of that before I, you know, tell him," the last two words coming out at barely above a whisper. Dr. Turner sat back down on her little rolling stool that doctor's use and scooted up to the side of the exam table where Rory was sitting up, still dressed in that ridiculous paper vest and paper sheet over her lap. "That is true that many people do wait for various reasons to spread the word until after the first trimester is over, but after eight weeks for someone at your age, with no history of miscarriage, and a strong fetal heartbeat the rate is less than two percent. After nine weeks it's less than one percent. It's up to you of course if and when you tell people, and while there are no guarantees in life, the chances of you having a miscarriage at this stage is very low." Rory just nodded her head at this information. "Rory, I want you to know what you say won't leave this room. Are you sure you want to continue with this pregnancy. Because if you don't that's okay."

Rory just shook her head, "No, I've thought about this a lot and decided I want to have this baby." Dr. Turner smiled and then took a deep breath. "Are you scared to tell the father? If you are in any kind of danger you can tell me and I can get you help."

"No, no, it's nothing like that. He actually loves me very much. We started dating in college and reconnected a few years ago. He just lives in London, and is kind of engaged to another woman. It's very embarrassing. We had said our goodbyes and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, aside from turning down his proposal on the day I graduated, and then I find out I'm pregnant. I didn't want to drop this bomb on him and probably destroy his life unless I was sure there is actually going to be a baby." Rory took a deep breath, having used all of her oxygen during her rant. She was slightly embarrassed that this poor doctor whom she had just met had to listen to her word vomit all of her problems. "I'm sorry, you probably don't want to know all this stuff."

"No, it's totally fine," Dr. Turner just smiled. "Believe it or not, I've heard everything. And I mean everything. That's a rather tame story." Rory just laughed nervously. "I don't want to tell you what you should do, but if he loves you then I think you should tell him sooner rather than later. Even in the smoothest of pregnancies, a pregnant woman needs as much support as she can get."

Rory thanked Dr. Turner and then finally got dressed, but she couldn't leave yet because she was ushered to the lab to draw what seemed like forty vials of blood for standard prenatal testing. It made Rory so light headed she even fainted for a split second, but the lab tech assured her it happened to a lot of pregnant women. Lane stopped for ice cream on the way home to boost Rory's blood sugar and so they could plot how to inform Logan of his impending fatherhood. As they were sitting in Lane's minivan eating hot fudge sundaes a trip to London for an imaginary story she was pursuing seemed like a brilliant idea. They rehearsed what Rory would say when she called him and when she would meet him at their favorite pub by his office. Lane dropped Rory off with a promise to check in after she took the twins to the dentist. She looked down at her phone re-reading Lane's text and hit reply.

"Bad, very very bad. He's traveling around the US next week for work stuff. Reformulating plan, will keep you posted."

Rory looked at the clock; it was almost 2:00. Dr. Turner told her the best way to fight nausea is eating lots of small meals so her stomach never got too full or too empty. She needed to eat something soon or plan to spend the rest of the evening hugging her toilet bowl. So she sat on the bar stool at the kitchen island eating a banana and peanut butter (nothing had ever sounded so delicious in her life at the moment) and wrote out a plan of action. Even though she had mentally made this list a thousand times, the writer in her needed to see it on paper.

First and foremost, figure out a way to meet with Logan when he is in Boston next week. Second, spend the next week continuing writing on her book, new freelance pieces, and remotely editing pieces for the Gazette. That was the one thing that gave her the most peace of mind. No matter how stressed she may be about Logan, the baby and their uncertain future, she was thrilled with how productive her writing had been this past week. She hoped to have at least one freelance piece ready for submission by Monday. She made a little sub-heading on her list of all the publications she wanted to submit it to and industry contacts who could help her out. Third was her long term plans. While she knew that Logan's reaction could change things, she could still make concrete career goals and life plans that she didn't want to change. She knew that she wanted to finish the first draft of her book by the end of January. Jess had all but promised her that he would publish it, but she still wanted to find an agent and shop it around to different publishing houses too. She would be eternally grateful to Jess for giving her the push that she needed to start writing a book in the first place, but she also needed to be practical. She had a child to provide for and if another publisher could offer her more money she would have to take it. In addition she would have to find a source of steady income. Freelancing and a one-time book deal were not going to cut it. She would need to find a permanent job in the world of journalism or even consider Headmaster Charleston's offer to get a M.A. and become a teacher at Chilton. If her mom could work as a maid to provide for her child Rory could sure as hell suck it up and be a teacher at one of the most prestigious prep schools in Connecticut.

Rory also thought about where she wanted to live. She couldn't hide out at her grandmother's house forever and she knew Emily wanted to get it on the market again eventually. She should probably go back to Stars Hollow but wasn't thrilled with the idea of being the talk of the town as the fallen Rory Gilmore, second generation unwed mother-to-be. She didn't think anyone would be hurtful of course, but didn't relish the thought of having to explain the details of her private life every time a townie asked about her protruding belly. She could dip into her trust fund to get an apartment here in Hartford, but she really didn't want to touch that money unless absolutely necessary. The account balance had already taken a beating ever since she tried to make it as a freelancer and now that she had a child to provide for she didn't want it to go any lower. None of the options seemed particularly tempting.

Deep down, though, she admitted to herself the reason she didn't want to make a decision on her living situation was she was waiting on Logan's reaction. She knew that was a bad idea and was setting herself up for disappointment. She should decide what was best for her and the baby, and if he chose to be involved he would have to follow her lead. She couldn't and shouldn't let him save her once again. And if he chose not to be involved, if he went back to London to be with Odette, she couldn't risk being devastated. She had to remind herself that she had to think about more than just her petty wants and desires and look at the big picture. There were reasons they weren't together in the first place and she had to keep reminding herself of them. But she wouldn't know his reaction until she told him. And she couldn't start that process without calling a certain resident of Boston. She waited until later that evening when she knew he wouldn't be in the office. Rory thought out what she was going to say and reluctantly picked up her phone.

It rang twice before he picked up. The recipient frowned when he saw the caller ID and contemplated not answering, but curiosity got the best of him. He said hello with an uncertainty that Rory immediately picked up on.

"Colin, hey it's Rory Gilmore." Why did she use her last name? It's highly unlikely he knows any other Rorys she chided herself.

"Uhhhh hey, how are you doing? What's up?"

"Oh me? I'm great. I'm working on a story that has me traveling to Boston next week and thought we could meet up while I'm in town. We should grab a drink." Why did she say that? He would immediately know something's up if they met at a bar and she ordered a glass of water. She was really bad at subterfuge.

"Yeah sure, what day are you going to be here?" Colin's spidey sense was on high alert. He had plans to hang out with a certain ex of Rory's on Thursday night and he knew it wasn't just a coincidence that she was calling out of the blue to meet up in Boston that exact same week.

"Probably Wednesday but I might have to push it back to Thursday." Rory was trying to sound casual but Colin didn't buy it. Why was he being dragged into this? He didn't judge either of them for the ridiculous affair for the past few years; lord knows he knew better than anyone what it was like to still be hung up on your college sweetheart. He was happy to go on fun nights of drinking and adventure with the two of them, but he wanted nothing to do with whatever drama they were creating in their lives- especially if it involved him probably lying to one of his best friends. "Sure Rory, but I have plans on Thursday-" then a high pitched voice was heard in the background, "Oh my god! Is that Rory Gilmore on the phone?"

No. No no no no, this isn't happening. Rory actually felt her stomach drop and the previous four hour's worth of snacks work their way up her esophagus. She didn't have time to act on it though because she heard the phone get pulled out of Colin's hand. "Rory is that you?!"

"Umm hey Stephanie. What in the world are you doing in Boston? With Colin?"

"We were trying to keep things quiet but I guess I just outed ourselves," she said with a laugh. "I moved to Boston about three months ago. I bought a house in the suburbs so Annabelle can be close to my folks and I take the train into the city for work. I was getting ready to head home but I'm so glad I stuck around long enough to hear you talking to Colin! What's going on with you? We should totally hang out now that I'm back on the east coast!"

"Yeah, we totally should," Rory put on her best perky voice that naturally came out when she was around Stephanie. She just had a way of bringing out the optimist in people. Rory did a lightening quick pro/con list in her head and decided to change her tactic. Discretion wasn't exactly Stephanie's forte, but she was her friend and Colin trusted her, and most importantly if Rory had Stephanie on her side she could stop with the lying and cover story of the fake article that was bringing her to Boston the same day as Logan. "I'm coming into town on Wednesday. Do you want to have lunch? Where is your office? I could meet you there or even at your house. I'd love to meet Annabelle some time."

"Wednesday would be great! I work downtown and there's great coffee and sandwich place by my office. Annabelle goes to preschool during the day but we definitely have to get together with her now that I moved back!" Stephanie was practically squeeing with joy.

"That sounds perfect. Text me the address to this number. I'll let you know when my train arrives." Rory was so happy with how the plan was turning around. The women said their goodbyes with plans to catch up and hopefully hang out more now that Stephanie was back in the area.

Colin and Stephanie only dated six months of their senior year at Yale. Both were political science majors and both had plans to go to law school after graduation. Much like her and Logan, they had to make a choice about the future of their relationship and who would follow whom if their career paths took them in different locations. Colin was accepted to Duke and Stephanie at Northwestern. Neither was willing to compromise so they had a dramatic break up and Colin headed off to Durham, and Stephanie to Evanston. Stephanie got a job in Chicago after she graduated and married a co-worker about five years ago. They had a little girl, Annabelle, a year later. She knew from social media and the Yale grapevine that they had divorced a few months ago, but Rory had no idea she had moved back east. The last time she saw Stephanie was at a Yale young alumni event held in New Haven about two years ago. Rory smiled to herself reminiscing about that night.

 _She and Logan had been seeing each other again for a few months and only attended because they knew the other was going to be there. After the speeches at the formal mixer were over a group of former LDB members decided to get everyone together at the old pub next to campus. Rory didn't want to go, she just wanted to head back to the hotel to spend the night in Logan's bed, but she knew it would be blatantly obvious what was going on if they both didn't make an appearance. She had spent the rest of the evening at a pub table with Stephanie, Rosemary and a few other women they used to hang out with while Rory desperately tried to avoid staring at Logan from across the room. He had looked so good that night. He had started the evening in a clearly custom made dark navy suit and crisp white shirt perfectly tailored to the last millimeter of his body, but by the time they were on their second round of drinks he had lost his jacket and tie, rolled up his sleeves and left the top button on his collar open. He was laughing at something Finn had said and caught her eye for just a split second before turning his head. In that moment it hit her that he was no longer the charming college boy she had fell in love with almost a decade ago, but was now very much a man who was totally comfortable with who he was and what he wanted in life. Rory had never considered herself an exhibitionist before, but she was giving very serious consideration to jumping him in the darkened hallway next to the bathrooms._

 _A few hours and three more rounds of cocktails later Rory found herself in a cab to their hotel. She and Logan had got separate rooms on different floors just in case someone asked any questions, which turned out to be a smart choice as Rosemary and Stephanie rode back with her. They tried to get her to go back to their shared room to watch a movie and gossip some more but Rory feigned exhaustion from too much alcohol and promised to meet them for breakfast the next morning. After waiting what she deemed an appropriate amount of time to let Logan get back to his suite on the top floor of the hotel Rory quickly made her way to the elevator and prayed that she didn't run into anyone they knew. She wanted to run down the hall once she got to the seventeenth floor but forced herself to walk calmly to collect her thoughts. She knocked and he silently opened the door and moved to the side to let her walk past him into the room._

 _Once Rory heard the door shut and lock she turned around and expected him to attack her with his lips like he usually did the first moment they were alone after a prolonged absence, but instead Logan was staring at her so intensely that she started blushing spontaneously. He had remained in the clothes he had been wearing earlier that evening but had kicked off his shoes and unbuttoned another button on his dress shirt. He silently walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge and she started to walk towards him to join but he put up a hand to stop her movement. "Take off your dress Rory." It wasn't a request. There was something about the deep tone of his voice and the intensity of his eyes that made her entire body feel hot and she instantly felt herself getting wet. As usual she couldn't do anything but follow his commands._

 _She reached behind her back and slowly unzipped her mom's navy blue signature wrap dress she had borrowed from her closet the night before. The next morning Rory would think about what Lorelai would say of her favorite dress in a wrinkled pool on the floor at the foot of Logan's bed, but at that moment the only thoughts in her mind were how much she wanted Logan to touch her, to hold her, to be inside her, to make her feel like she was the most beautiful and desirable woman on the planet. She carefully stepped out of the dress and stood in front of him in nothing but her black silk bra and panty set and gold stilettos. She started to walk towards him again but Logan stopped her again, "Take off your bra." Once again it wasn't a request and once again she reached behind her to unhook the ridiculously overpriced lingerie that she had bought solely to impress him. The bra fell to the floor next to the forgotten dress. Rory stood silently waiting for his approval. Logan looked her up and down. "Now your panties."_

 _Rory started to laugh. It crossed her mind that she had never heard Logan say the word panties before and it sounded funny coming from his mouth but then she caught the look in his eyes. He was anything but joking. She gently rolled them down her legs and carefully stepped out while not getting them caught in the high heels. Finally she closed the distance between them and Logan reached out and put both hands on the sides of her waist. He placed a few light kisses on her stomach and Rory ran her hands through his hair, but then he pulled back and looked her in the eye, "I want you to touch yourself for me."_

 _Rory had a feeling this was where he was heading when he had started the commanding take-charge thing he had going on. Nothing turned on Logan more than watching Rory pleasure herself, and the shy college girl she once was when they first started dating was always too self-conscious to do it back then. But now she was a grown woman who was comfortable in her own sexuality and she loved the power she had over Logan to do things to drive him wild with want and desire without even touching him. She gave him a knowing smirk and slowly snaked her hand down her abdomen and ran her fingers through her pubic hair, but stopped for a few seconds until she heard him groan in anticipation. Then she used her middle finger to spread the wetness in her vagina to her outer lips and began slowly circling her clit the way she liked. She threw her head back and moaned in pleasure of the pressure that was building up. Any time she began to feel embarrassed at the thought of letting Logan watch such an intimate act she would crack one eye open and see the captivated look on his face with eyes filled with lust for her. She pulled his arm up from her waist and placed his hand on her breast. He slowly started to roll it with the palm of his hand and then rubbed up and down over her nipple, and Rory moaned in appreciation. That gave Logan the encouragement to take his other hand to guide Rory's and she could feel her orgasm building in the pit of her stomach, like small weights were being placed deep inside her just waiting to explode._

 _She knew if she wanted to wait until he was inside of her to come she would have to make him stop now but instantly made a new plan. She picked up her speed and then Logan leaned up to take her nipple in his mouth and she came almost immediately. The muscles inside her felt like they were on fire until they finally released and rhythmically pulsed around the finger Logan had placed inside of her to push on her g-spot. Rory took rapid shallow breaths until her throat was dry and her whole body was shaking. She leaned over to steady herself on Logan's shoulders and realized her feet were tingling. From the lack of blood flow or the stilettos she was still wearing, she couldn't be sure._

 _After several long seconds her breathing got back to normal and she slowly lowered herself to her knees so she was kneeling between his legs. She pulled on Logan's neck to bring him down for a slow, wet kiss as she slowly unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off his shoulder. She kissed her way down his chest until she unzipped his pants and looked up and made eye contact to get him to lift his hips to help her pull them down with his boxers. Say what you will about the thrill of a brand new relationship, but after all these years she had given Logan more blow jobs than she'd ever be able to count and knew precisely every move that would make him putty in her hands. She licked the outside of her lips to make them wet and without any preamble took the entire length of his penis in her mouth at once, stifling her own gag reflex. It wasn't her favorite thing to do but not that bad, and definitely worth the reaction she got from him. "Fuck, Rory!" she heard him shout out as he leaned both of his arms behind him on the bed to steady himself, but she didn't let up. She bobbed her head up and down several more times, controlling her gag reflex until she needed to give herself a break and swirled her tongue around the tip and then his favorite, she sucked around his cock so tight it created a vacuum in her mouth. To speed things up she gently cupped his balls and turned them over between her fingers while taking him deep in her mouth once again. One more "Oh my god Ace" and she knew she had him. She very carefully pushed a finger down on the sensitive spot underneath his balls and felt them tighten up and he came in her mouth. Rory swallowed and smiled, pleased with herself how she was able to turn his little game around on him. Logan had wanted to be the one in charge, which she usually loved, but tonight she wanted to be the one in control and she knew exactly how to do it._

 _She got up and straddled his waist, her heels still on her feet, and she let the pointed ends just barely push into the sides of his thighs. "Jesus Ace, you didn't need to do that." She leaned down to kiss him, "I know, but I wanted to. I was thinking about it all night watching you at the pub."_

 _"I was thinking about getting you back to this room too, but I had plans to come deep inside of you with your legs wrapped around my waist. Footwear optional."_

 _Rory smiled and leaned her forehead on his while she grinded her hips down on his, feeling him already becoming hard again. "But the night is still young," she whispered, "and I'm sure this room came with a pretty spectacular shower."_

 _"It does- a bench and everything."_

 _"Then what are we waiting for?"_

Rory sighed and shook her head thinking about the rest of that night. They had laughed at themselves once they realized they were definitely not as flexible as they once were when it came to shower sex and abandoned it to make love in the very comfortable king size bed. She did wrap her legs around his waist as tight as she could to allow him to be as deep as possible when he came again, and she kept her eyes open to watch his face as his eyes went dark and he rubbed his cheek on hers as he chanted her name over and over again as he emptied himself inside of her. Rory had wanted them to have the chance to talk about what exactly was going on with their non-relationship, but the combination of alcohol and physical activity had exhausted them, and they both passed out almost instantly. The next morning she had to wake up with the sun to sneak back into her room for the promised breakfast with Rosemary and Stephanie, so she had just kissed the top of his head and left a note explaining her absence. She later saw him in the dining room of the hotel restaurant as he ate with Colin and Finn, but of course was forced to just smile and say hello to everyone as she walked passed them. As much as she wanted to have that important discussion, she also loved that they gave each other a knowing smile and then continued their conversations with their respective friends. A private secret between just the two of them. Their relationship belonged to them and only them, not to be shared with the outside world.

 **A/N: This was one of my favorite chapters to write. I hope everyone likes it as much as I do. Next week is a short chapter with Lorelai then the big trip to Boston.**


	9. Chapter 9

**It's my birthday so as a present to you, here's a mid-week update.  
**

* * *

Rory had spent the night on the phone with Lane reformulating "the plan." They both agreed that telling Stephanie everything and having her help arrange a meeting with Logan would be for the best. She might be a bit of a gossip but Rory was putting her faith in her old friend to be discreet about this situation since she had always been on Team Rory as far as Logan was concerned. She had recently gone through a break up, reconnected with her college love and was a mother; all of those things were in Rory's favor. Plus Rory assured Lane that Stephanie was above all else a good person who would want to help her. She would drive to Boston on Wednesday morning instead of taking the train so she could make as many pit stops as necessary in case she got car sick, check into her hotel and meet Stephanie for lunch and spill the beans. Rory and Lane also debated and rehearsed the exact words Rory would use to tell Logan. Rory didn't want to risk freezing up or rambling so she practiced the lines like she was an actress. "Logan, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but I'm pregnant. You aren't obligated to me in any way if you don't want to be, I just want you to know. I want to keep it and you can be involved if that's what you want. Take as much time as you need to process."

Rory had gone to bed early again, still dealing with early pregnancy fatigue and nausea. She really, really hoped she would be able to get the words out to Logan like she had practiced. She kept saying them over and over in her mind until she fell asleep, trying not to picture his face because she didn't want to think about how devastated or angry he might be but it was no use. She awoke the next morning after a night of intense dreams. Her subconscious had played out every scenario all night and some of them were not that great. In one he had begged her to lie and say someone else was the father. In another he blamed her for getting pregnant and ruining his life and probably the entire Hunztberger family. The worst was him trying to buy her off and taking the baby away for him and Odette to raise as their own in London.

Rory splashed water on her face and tried to tell herself it was just bad dreams. In all likelihood he would beg her to marry him again and be outcast from his family. That might be even worse, she thought to herself. She didn't want her child to be the reason he was alienated from his family and maybe the downfall of a international media conglomerate that employed tens of thousands of people. And was that what she wanted? She loved Logan with all her heart, but could they work again in a real relationship after all these years? They had spent the past almost three years in the most dysfunctional relationship you could possibly have cheating and lying to so many people. It wasn't fair to bring a baby into that kind of environment.

A few hours later Rory had settled into another writing grove when she was interrupted by the door bell. She had completely forgotten her mom was back from her honeymoon and was coming to collect Paul Anka that morning. She opened the door to find Lorelai holding a massive cellophane wrapped gift basket filled with all kinds of baby and pregnancy paraphernalia.

"There she is, the future 2017 Mother of the Year!"

"Mom? Is that you under there? What is all this stuff? It's bigger than a Barcalounger." Lorelai sat the gigantic basket on the ground and gave Rory a thousand watt smile. "It's just something I threw together with the help of Lane and Sookie. My kid is having a kid, and I can't think of a better way to celebrate this momentous occasion than by testing the limits of my credit card." Then the two women stared at each other for a few seconds before Rory launched herself into her mother's arms for a strong hug. She found herself crying as all the emotions from the last week came spilling out of her body in the form of tears. Lorelai didn't say anything, just held her daughter while she let it all out until she calmed herself down.

"Wow that was unexpected and embarrassing."

"Don't worry about it. You have nine more months of pregnancy hormones so you might want to get used to the unexpected tears now."

"Why don't we go inside and stop giving the neighbors a free show."

"Good idea. The ladies at the DAR might make an exception and call your grandmother if they see this much human emotion displayed at her front door. There are some things that cannot ever be tolerated by WASPs, even if they have been shunned by one of their own."

They went to the kitchen to get some water for Rory and coffee for Lorelai. Rory felt strangely relieved and yet apprehensive to discuss the baby situation with her mother. She knew she would support her no matter what, and had the added benefit of being in her shoes once before too, but it was still hard to talk to your mother about an unplanned pregnancy no matter your age.

"Soooooo…," Lorelai said trying to break the ice and get the conversation started, "anything you want to talk to me about?"

"Well, I am officially with child. My engaged, ex-boyfriend who lives on another continent is the father. I am unemployed and hiding out in my grandmother's vacant house trying to revive my career. And I have no savings except my dwindling trust fund that I don't want to touch unless absolutely necessary because I am now going to be responsible for a completely helpless human being in about eight months. I think that just about sums it up."

Lorelai hugged her daughter again. "When you put it that way it does sound pretty bad. But you know what I see? I see an educated, accomplished and determined woman who I know is going to be the best mom a baby could ever wish for. And I'm not just saying that because of your stellar parenting example from yours truly." At that Rory stifled a laugh. "You have a support system that a lot of single mothers can only dream of. You have me, and Luke, Lane, Sookie, Paris, pretty much the entire town of Stars Hollow, your dad and yes, even your grandmother. After she gets over the initial shock I have a feeling she is actually going to be pretty excited about a new baby in the family."

"Yeah, but mom you of all people know babies cost a lot of money. And last time I checked I have none of that, unless you count my trust fund which I just said is not as big as it used to be and I don't want to use it anymore unless it's a true emergency. All I have is a half-written book and a few freelance articles that I'm praying someone will publish."

"Okay, well first of all Chris or Emily would never let you and your baby live on the streets, a tenement, or even a basic two bedroom apartment. But that doesn't matter because last time I checked you have an Ivy League education. You can support yourself and this baby. And you have me too. If the worst came to worst, I'm not exactly living in the poor house anymore. The inn is doing really well. We're expanding if you haven't heard." Lorelai finished with a smile. "Where is all this coming from? Just yesterday when we talked you told me all about your big plans to get back into journalism and the book is going really well."

Rory sighed, "I know, I know. I know everything you're saying is right. I'm just having a bit of a freak out because I have to tell Logan and I don't know how he's going to react. I hate the not knowing. I feel like my entire future is up in the air depending on what he says. Yes I can do this on my own, but he's still the father of this baby and deserves to have a say. The not knowing is making me crazy."

"Ahhh yes, the Logan factor. You know, I have never liked that guy…."

"Mom, please don't start." Rory was not in the mood to hear her mom's many grievances with Logan Huntzberger.

"Okay, okay, I'll play nice for now. But he can't expect me to be thrilled with the whole impregnating my daughter while he's engaged to a French heiress thing."

"Last time I checked I was there too. I was cheating too. We both made bad choices. It's not all his fault. Don't act like I'm perfect, mom."

"I know, it's just hard for me to see you hurting. You'll understand one day."

At that Rory internally rolled her eyes but let it go. "I just need to make it until Thursday when I tell him."

"How do you think he'll react? You're the one who knows him the best. What do you think is going to happen?"

"Oh I know exactly what will happen, I guess that's the problem. He's going to want to leave his fiancé and we get married. I had all these nightmares last night about him saying he wants nothing to do with me or the baby but those were just bad dreams. I know Logan; he will want us to be a family. That's the actual scary part."

"Do you want to marry him? 'Cause the last time he asked you weren't too keen on the idea."

Rory paused, closed her eyes, took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "It's not a matter of what I want. Logan isn't engaged to Odette because he loves her, well, he might, I have no idea actually what he feels about her, but I know that his family needs her family's money. He's indicated as much before. He said 'the business will be secured' when she inherits, like, four billion dollars."

Lorelai shook her head in confusion. "I thought the Huntzbergers were like the one percent of the one percent?"

"I don't know the details, but I know Logan went back to HPG because they needed him to help with expanding the digital revenue for their papers. The entire industry is hurting. No one wants to pay for their news anymore."

"So you're saying I shouldn't steal your New York Times password anymore?" Rory shot Lorelai an exasperated look. "Okay, that sounds serious, but do you know exactly how bad it is? No matter how much money is involved, you can't let any amount of money dictate something as important as your child's future."

"Mom, if they sell or close down papers around the world, yeah I kinda do have to take it into consideration. People I've never met could lose their jobs because Logan and I can't get our crap together."

"I think you're making an awful lot of assumptions without all the facts. 'The business will be secured' could mean anything. Maybe you guys should, I don't know, talk about it. Take it from someone who had to learn it the hard way- relationships require actually discussing what's on your mind. And you never actually answered my question. Do you want to marry him?"

Rory started tearing up again, "Yes, no, I don't know…I love him so much. I know he loves me. But we're such a mess. We used to be so good together when we were in college. Then he proposed and I don't regret turning him down, I know we were too young to get married, but I have never been in a relationship that made me happy like I was with him. You know that's why I broke up with Matthew and Patrick. And Paul, I was so terrible to him. I lied and cheated on him from day one! But Logan has this hero complex that makes him want to save his father's company. He'd do anything to gain his approval. And sometimes he sees me as someone who should fit into his life, not the other way around. I'm scared that I'm just a happy distraction from his real life, a temporary reprieve where he gets to play what might've been, and if we were actually together that illusion would be shattered." And with that she was out of breath and let the tears falls in earnest.

Lorelai hugged her daughter again and rubbed her back for several minutes until the sobbing stopped. It hurt her so much to see Rory hurting, but she knew there was nothing she could do to fix it. Rory was an adult who needed to work this out on her own, no matter how difficult it was as her mother to stand on the sidelines. After her breathing had returned to almost normal, Rory pulled back and looked at her mom with red, swollen eyes. "I'm sorry mom, I hate that I'm so emotional," she said.

"Like I told ya kid, you better get used to it. Welcome to pregnancy hormone hell. But at least you get the excuse to eat whatever you want without judgment. Not that that's ever stopped us before. Sookie put some amazing blueberry muffins in that basket. I think we should bust 'em out." With that Lorelai got up and unwrapped the basket full of baked goods, pregnancy books, herbal tea, belly bands, onesies and pacifiers.

"Oh yeah, you said she helped you. So I take it Sookie knows?"

"I'm sorry, I know you didn't want anyone else to know yet. But I swore her to secrecy. She pinkie-swore to keep her lips sealed, even to Jackson."

"That's okay. I know she won't tell anyone." Rory took a bite of the muffin Lorelai handed her, "And these muffins are worth it even if she does."

With that the said both women silently ate and contemplated their future as a mother and grandmother respectively. Lorelai stayed a little while longer trying to convince Rory to come back to Stars Hollow, but Rory insisted on staying another week to write in her grandfather's study. She packed up Paul Anka's things and was sad to see her fur-brother go, but he was clearly very happy to have Lorelai back.

Rory spent the rest of the evening and the next day writing, trying to preoccupy her mind with the book and her freelance pieces. Aside from a reoccurring spell of nausea and vomiting early Sunday morning, she tried her best to forget she was even pregnant. There was too much work to be done.

* * *

As Rory was diligently typing away at her grandfather's desk, someone else was 3500 miles away in London packing for a week-long trip back to the United States. It was funny, after all these years away he no longer considered it home. London was his home now.

Logan was looking forward to some time away from his life there though: away from Odette and her enthusiasm for their wedding, and the house hunting, and their entire relationship. The façade he was putting up every day was wearing on him to the point of exhaustion. He replayed the phone conversation with Rory in his head. What was going on with her? Why did she want to meet up when she was in London? Was she trying to torture him?

He was glad to be getting away. As much as he ached to see her, he knew that nothing good would come from it. He would devote himself to his work and then hang out with one of his oldest friends. It might be a good thing that Rory was coming to London just as he was leaving. He wouldn't be tempted to rent a car and drive to Connecticut in the middle of the night. Logan ached to touch her, hold her, taste her again, but he knew if they saw each other even one more time he would never recover from her spell.

He reminded himself that he needed to stick with "the plan." Leave his past behind him, marry Odette, stay with HPG and eventually take over for his father, keeping a international media conglomerate in the black – this was his destiny. Not everyone gets to have a happily ever after. But if he plays his cards right he can get a happily enough ever after. It was expected that he and Odette have children, hell it was an entire section of the pre-nup. Logan would see to it that they get to have their happily ever after, whatever that might like look to them. His business and then eventually his children will become his focus in life, and Rory Gilmore will hopefully one day just be a beautiful memory he could look back on with fondness instead of overwhelming heartache.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm not great at mother-daughter interactions since I never talk to my mother at all, so I hope everyone finds this in-character. I'm currently editing, and re-editing and then re-editing some more for the next two chapters. I don't know if I'll ever think they're ready to go live but hopefully next weekend or soon after.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for all the birthday wishes! My husband got me a Luke's Diner coffee mug without prompting, so it was pretty awesome!**

The drive to Boston wasn't as bad as Rory had feared. She had spent the previous two days doing nothing more than vomiting or feeling like she was on the verge of vomiting. The Gazette's weekly Wednesday edition needed editing so she was able to go to Stars Hollow and get it all done on Tuesday morning, but that required multiple "puke breaks" that she blamed on bad shellfish after some accusatory looks from Esther. By that night Rory was dreading the long drive the following morning, but she snacked on crackers and ginger ale for the entire drive and only had to pull over once. She checked into her hotel with just enough time to freshen up and head back out to meet Stephanie for lunch.

After a quick Uber ride to the restaurant Rory waited outside for only a few minutes when she saw her old friend approaching. The two women hugged and made their way into the café. After placing their orders at the front counter they snagged a table towards the back corner for privacy. "So...you and Colin? Spill."

"Ahhhhhh, I know, it's crazy. I'm so happy. It's just right, ya know?" Stephanie couldn't hide the smile that took over her entire face. To the rest of the world it might seem like she was acting impulsively uprooting her and Annabelle's lives to move to Boston to be with him, but she knew in her heart that she was meant to be with Colin and there was no point in trying to fight it anymore. Rory smiled and nodded, she knew what Stephanie was talking about. "I had been unhappy with Kyle for too long," she continued, "and when Colin and I ran into each other a few years ago at that alumni thing at Yale I just knew that I had to make a decision. Either stay together for Annabelle's sake and waste the next 10 to 20 years trying to make it work only to realize it was it was pointless, or just do the hard part now and admit that it wasn't working and we both deserved to be with someone who made us truly happy."

"That takes a lot of courage to admit something like that." Rory knew exactly what Stephanie was talking about and if she was being honest with herself she was more than a little jealous that her friend was brave enough to take that risk as she clearly was not. At what point had both her and Logan become so paralyzed by the fear of change that they kept holding onto the status quo even if it meant hurting each other?

"One Sunday evening after the three of us had spent one last fun weekend together I poured myself a glass of wine, sat him down and laid it out. I think we got married just because we thought it was what you were supposed to do. We dated for a year then moved in together, a year after that we graduated and got engaged the next month, a year after that we got married, a year after that I had a baby...it's like we scheduled a major life event every twelve months. Then when that stopped it was just...not enough. After Annabelle was born it was like he stopped trying to be a husband. There was no romance or even friendship, just a roommate who looked after Annabelle when I needed to get my hair done. That weekend in New Haven was a wake up call."

"Wow, so did you and Colin, that weekend..." Rory trailed off. She had been so preoccupied with being in such close proximity to Logan that she had been oblivious to anything or anyone else that might have been partaking in some sort of clandestine affair too.

"No, it wasn't like that. Not at first at least. My flight wasn't until later Sunday evening and he ran into me in the hotel lobby after check out. I had a few hours to kill so we grabbed a cup of coffee and just talked. I hadn't felt so happy or content just spending time with another man in years. I don't know if I had ever felt that way with Kyle to be honest. When it was time to go to the airport I realized if it weren't for Annabelle there was no way I would've gotten on that plane. When I got back to Chicago I tried to tell myself it was just my heart rehashing old feelings and I was being unrealistic. The grass is always greener, you know?" Rory nodded appropriately but Stephanie being Stephanie just kept talking. Brevity and self-censorship had never been her strong suit. "So I gave it a few months. Actually, I gave it several months. But nothing changed. I realized even if Colin and I never saw each other ever again, or if we did get back together and it didn't work out, I would still not regret ending my marriage. I had my mind made up."

"How did he take it? Was it awful?"

"It was...strange. He was genuinely shocked. He asked if we could try counseling, but I didn't want to bother. That sounds harsh, I know, but it would've been worse for everyone to drag it out. It wasn't just the possibility of Colin, I actually didn't reach out to him for a long time after the divorce was finalized, I just knew our marriage wasn't right. Kyle isn't the kind of person who can change. I mean honestly, can anyone really change? We would've gone to counseling and there would be a temporary improvement but then he'd go back to just being a man who slept on the other side of my bed and split the bills. Neither one of us loved each other enough to put in the effort if I'm being totally honest." Rory smiled to herself. She had never known Steph to be anything but one hundred percent honest, sometimes at a detriment to herself. It was a good thing she was did wills and estate planning and not criminal defense.

"Well I'm really happy for you both. And it must be serious if you were willing to move." Rory knew from Logan that Colin had spent the past decade doing nothing but working and "dating" 24 year old gold diggers who didn't realize they had a better chance of winning a Nobel Prize in astrophysics than tricking him into marriage. Stephanie was the only woman who had ever been capable of getting him to make a real commitment and Rory hoped that was still the case considering she uprooted her and her daughter's entire lives to be with him.

"Oh Ror', I was so nervous at first. It had been almost an entire year after that alumni thing when I finally got the nerve to call him. Well actually, I didn't even have the guts to call, I sent him a facebook message like a teenager. I made up some excuse to ask his opinion about a case someone else in my firm was working on, it was pathetic. We talked online then texted everyday for two months before we ever spoke on the phone. Then last Christmas when Annabelle and I were staying with my parents we made plans to meet up and it was just..." she shrugged her shoulders and smiled, "...you know, just like everything fell perfectly into place with us. We had changed a lot but still had so much in common."

Rory nodded her head in total understanding. "Yeah, I know what you mean," she said with a sigh.

Stephanie eyed her suspiciously, but continued on. She suspected it wasn't only work that had brought Rory to Boston the same day as her ex but Steph was never one to not finish a story when she was the main subject. "So we spent a few months traveling back and forth, talked on the phone almost every day, eventually he met Annabelle and he's actually great with her, and after a lot of debate we decided it would be best if I was the one to move. It's ten times easier for me to switch jobs than Colin since he's now a partner at his family's firm and is expected to take over one day. And this is where we grew up, both of our families are here. There was nothing really keeping me in Chicago except for Kyle. He took it hard, but it was more about getting back at me than his desire to see his daughter. He works 60 hours a week and saw her for a few hours every other Saturday, not even overnight! I would never, ever keep her from him and was willing to work out any visitation schedule that was within reason, but all of a sudden he started acting like he was father of the year and tried to block me from moving. I was worried it was going to get ugly but luckily when two lawyers go through a custody dispute they tend to document everything. Like texts of him making lame excuses as to why he couldn't see his child for more than six hours a month. The judge signed off on my full custody. Kyle is going to have her two weeks in the summer and call every Sunday, but so far he's only done that three times."

"Ouch, I know a lot about that. My own dad wasn't exactly the greatest at keeping in touch my entire childhood. But he did get better as I got older. We have a pretty good relationship now everything considered. I hope some day Kyle realizes what he's giving up."

"Me too, girly, me too. But Anna is doing great. I made sure we moved and got settled in before the school year started. This her first year at preschool, and she absolutely loves seeing my parents all the time because they spoil her rotten."

"And how's your new job?" Stop with the small talk and tell her, Rory internally screamed.

"It's fine. It's a good firm. They treat all their employees well down to the mail clerks; I like my coworkers. I'm waiting for the paperwork to go through so I can be admitted to the Massachusetts bar right now, plus I'm starting from square one building up new contacts in the community for estate planning clients, so I'm kinda treading water at the moment. But I have more time at home than before, even with my commute. I've made a few mom friends from Anna's school. All in all I'm happy where I'm at."

Before she had a chance to say anything else the waitress came over with their order. "A turkey club on whole wheat, large latte," she said as she placed the plate down in front of Stephanie, "and a cobb salad and lemonade." Stephanie looked at Rory's order suspiciously as the waitress put the large bowl of salad on the table. She had never seen Rory eat a vegetable that didn't have melted cheese on top. And no coffee? Something was definitely up.

"So is Colin going to move to the suburbs now? I somehow can't picture him mowing a lawn." Rory knew she was stalling. Stephanie wouldn't judge her, she knew that, but getting the words out was scary. There would be not turning back.

"We haven't really got that far yet. But eventually something will have to give. He's in the city and I commute every day. We really don't get to see each other as much as we had hoped..." Steph's voice trailed off as Rory unwrapped the small plastic cellophane wrapped packet of crackers and nibbled on one instead of eating her salad. She eyed her friend critically, really taking in her appearance, as a wave of déjà vu hit her. "Oh my god. You're pregnant."

Rory froze, cracker midway to her mouth. Steph gasped softly, realizing her suspicion was correct and instantly connecting why Rory was in Boston the same week as Logan. Rory dropped her chin slightly, an admission of guilt. She could hear her heartbeat ringing in her ears. "You're pregnant and here to tell Logan."

Rory's eyes shot up, "How -" she stopped abruptly. There was only one way Stephanie knew about her and Logan. "Colin told you."

"Colin knows about this and didn't tell me?!" Stephanie's eyebrows shot up in complete shock and annoyance that her boyfriend would withhold such juicy gossip in the name of friendship.

"I guess not." Both women stared at each other in silence for a beat. "Yeah," Rory said resolutely, "I'm here to tell him. How did you know?"

"You're drinking a lemonade when coffee is available and ordered a salad, yet you're nibbling on saltines. I've gone through the first trimester before, remember? And your boobs...well let's just say you probably shouldn't wear that sweater when you tell Logan because he'll be too distracted to hear a word you say."

Rory looked down at her new found cleavage and just shrugged her shoulders with a laugh, "You're probably right about that." It felt good to laugh. "How did you know it was him?"

"Oh honey," Steph said with a shake of her head, "you two aren't nearly as sneaky as you think you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rory said with mock indignation in her voice.

"Oh please, you should've seen you guys at that alumni event. You were practically eye fucking each other all night."

Rory gasped, "We were not!" Stephanie just cocked her right eyebrow. "Were we that bad?"

"I tried starting several conversations with you but you were oblivious. You were looking at him like you were ready to pull him into the nearest dark corner and rip his clothes off in front of god and everybody."

She laughed again, "That's actually exactly what I was thinking about doing."

"And I'm sure it's what you did when you got back to our hotel. I came by your room later that night to see if you were sure you didn't want to hang out with me and Rose-"

"I could've been in the shower, you don't know I wasn't in my room," Rory said interrupting her.

"But _then_ ," Stephanie continued emphatically, "the next morning at breakfast I saw you two trying to act all cool and nonchalant when you were actually looking at each other like you had spent the previous night screwing each other's brains out."

"I thought we hid it so well! I was actually proud of myself."

"In that case it's a good thing you never dreamt of becoming a spy because you suck at it. Also, you know you probably shouldn't check into social media that you're in London every two weeks when you don't want people to know you're sleeping with someone who lives in London. And how Logan's conveniently in New York whenever you're not in London? Then you post you're on a weekend trip to Scotland at the same time Colin tells me Logan's on a weekend trip to Scotland..." her voice trailed off and Rory blushed, caught red handed. "And then you call up Colin for the first time in years out of the blue saying you're going to be in Boston the same day Logan just happens to have plans to be here too? It doesn't take a private detective to put the pieces together. I'm a little annoyed that Colin knew first hand and didn't tell me, but it wasn't like you guys were good at hiding whatever it is that's going on between you two."

"Well you see, that's the thing. There isn't anything between us anymore. We ended it a couple weeks ago." Rory was fight hard to keep her voice from breaking.

Stephanie looked at her friend, heart breaking for her. "And then you found out you're pregnant and scared to tell him."

"That's the gist of it." And then Rory proceeded to tell Stephanie the whole story of them running into each other in Hamburg, how they had cheated on each other's significant others, their break up over the phone when Odette moved in, their last night together in New Hampshire and finally the mortifying phone call she made last week when she found out he would be traveling to the United States.

"Wow."

"Yeah, wow."

Stephanie took a moment to process everything Rory had just told her. It was funny how little things had changed in the past decade for both of them. "I just...I just have one question. I have many questions for my boyfriend about buying tango clubs and B&B's and not telling me, but right now I have only one question for you. Why?"

"Why to which part? Why did I call him up and humiliate myself with the ridiculous story about going to London? Why did I agree to go with him and the three stooges that night instead of heading home and reading a good book and drinking a glass of wine? Why did I not take up his offer to write my book in his house in Maine? Why did I sleep with my ex in the first place when I knew he was dating a beautiful, rich, French ballerina?"

"No, Rory, why are you guys doing this to each other? Why all the sneaking around? Why an affair?" Stephanie's voice was starting to rise and Rory hoped they weren't drawing attention in the restaurant, especially when she said the A word. "Why not just be together? You love each other. I know you do. You don't make international flights every month for almost three years for just some random guy no matter how good the sex is."

Tears filled Rory's eyes. "You don't understand, it's complicated," she said shaking her head.

"Then help me understand. I know Logan loves you. He became a whole new person for you in college. He asked you to marry him. Rory, I of all people know what it's like to be in a complicated relationship. But life is complicated. You don't get a divorce and relocate a four year old half way across the country for uncomplicated. "

"He's engaged Stephanie. To an heiress. Who his family loves. And they love her money more."

"What does that mean? The Huntzbergers are broke?" she said with obvious confusion in her voice.

"I don't think they're broke. Logan and I never talked about the business or our personal lives. We had a "Vegas" arrangement. You know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas-"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You're adults, not 20 year olds on spring break." Stephanie interrupted.

Rory took a deep breath, ignoring Stephanie's comment. "As I was saying, we didn't discuss our personal lives. But when he got engaged, Logan told me it was just because it was a good business decision because the Vauthier's money was going to be 'critical in the future.'" She held up her fingers to air quote. "And now I have to tell him that I'm going to have his child. And yes, I'm scared."

Stephanie saw the fear and hurt in Rory's eyes. Yes she still thought her and Logan were being absolutely stupid. If they would just be honest with each other there's no way that they wouldn't be together. A vague excuse about HPG needing money seemed pretty trivial when it came to the two of them. She had never met Odette, but knew that Logan never talked about her when he was around. But regardless of all of the reasons Rory and Logan should be together and stop acting like total fools, she knew her friend was hurting. She was very vulnerable right now and Stephanie's job at this moment was to be supportive.

"And you want my help to tell him?"

Rory just nodded. "I know it's a lot to ask. I just couldn't think of any other way to talk to him face to face in private."

"Of course, whatever you need. Don't feel bad, I want to help. How are you feeling? It's not healthy to be this stressed. I'm no doctor but I do know that."

Grateful tears formed in Rory's eyes. "Thank you so much. I just want to get it out there and then he knows. I just need to see him."

"I have an idea."

* * *

Thirty hours later Colin was pacing around his bedroom. Somehow, despite his very vocal protestations, he had been coerced into setting up his oldest friend against all of his better judgment. When Stephanie had showed up at his place a few hours ago he had begged her to stay out of it, to let whatever was going on between Rory and Logan be between them and no one else, but his girlfriend had a way of getting him to do anything she asked. _"I can't tell you why but you have to trust me. I wouldn't get involved or ask you to help if it wasn't important."_ Next thing he knew he had sent Logan a text asking him to meet at his apartment instead of the bar and then 20 minutes later Rory showed up. After an awkward greeting Colin retreated to his room, a prisoner in his own home. So that is how he found himself tonight, pacing his bedroom floor, Steph and Rory out in the kitchen talking and setting out appetizers, and Logan about to walk into some sort of trap that he had set involving Rory and a bowl of hummus.

Just then his phone vibrated with a text. It was Logan saying he was on his way over. Colin went out into the living room where the two women were in deep discussion on the couch. Rory looked like she was going to be sick and Stephanie had a concerned look on her face. He couldn't take it anymore. "Okay, Logan is going to be here in about fifteen minutes. Can someone please tell me what is going on now?"

Rory looked up at him and took a deep breath, "I'm pregnant." She realized she was getting a little better at saying it out loud.

"Shit." Colin turned that particular curse from one syllable to about four.

"Yes, it appears there's more than a bed and breakfast that someone can't seem to unload left over from that night in New Hampshire," she said with a raised eyebrow but kept on before Colin had a chance to respond. "And I want to tell Logan face to face. I tried to make up an excuse to see him in London, but he informed me that he was going to be in the States this week and my cover story was kind of blown. So I called to see if you would help me talk to him in private since he was going to be in Boston today, but luckily for you Steph was there when you took my call. She took the news much better than you apparently are based on the look of horror you're currently sporting."

"Shit Gilmore. I just can't believe...I'm sorry." Colin had no idea what someone was supposed to say in this kind of situation. He was now very thankful that Stephanie was there when Rory had called. Women are much better at stuff like this.

"Thank you. I'm sorry you got roped into this. But you were part of the crew that kidnapped me that night, so you do owe me," she said with a laugh.

Colin was about to agree with Rory when Stephanie popped up off the couch. "Yes, and you also owe me an explanation about buying tango clubs and B&B's all over New England without telling me. I'm one of those women who is a big fan of 'full disclosure.' Maybe we should make ourselves scarce when Logan arrives and talk about the topic further."

Before he had a chance to respond the intercom buzzed with the doorman letting him know that Logan had arrived. The group braced themselves for the more than likely awkward scene that was about to take place. Luckily the foyer of Colin's apartment wasn't visible to the living room and Colin went to wait for Logan there and at least warn him that the night was not going to be what he had planned.

Rory heard muffled voices in the next room and before she had a chance to get her bearings there he was, wearing a suit and cashmere overcoat looking just as handsome as ever. Colin had clearly not informed Logan what exactly was going on because his face was one of pure and total shock. Rory stood up but found herself suddenly mute. She had played out this situation in her mind hundreds of times, but now that it was actually happening all of the lines she had rehearsed completely disappeared. She thought she was prepared but Logan had got there so quickly, it was happening so fast. She suddenly felt incredibly tired and nauseous.

"Ace...what...what are you doing here?" Logan felt his heart in his throat. What was Rory doing here? In Boston, in Colin's apartment? She looked terrified. In all the years he had known Rory he had never seen fear in her eyes like this. She looked like she was scared of him; like he was going to physically hurt her. That in turn scared and confused him even more. What the hell was going on?

"You know, I totally forgot I'm supposed to bring snacks tomorrow for Annabelle's class! Colin and I are just going to run to the store and give you two some privacy," Stephanie said as she grabbed Colin by the arm and dragged him out of the room.

Logan and Rory were left in the living room, standing five feet apart, just staring at each other speechless. The cliché "you could cut the tension with a knife" had never felt more appropriate to either party. Finally Logan was the one to break.

"Okay, can you please tell me what the hell is going on? Why are you here? And why did you call me last week and say you were going to be in London? Are you okay?"

"Let's sit down," she gestured to the couch and sat gingerly on the edge. Logan took off his coat and jacket and sat down too, mimicking her actions, then looked at her expectantly waiting for answers. "Yes, I called you last week and lied about being in London for work. It was a terrible cover story and I'm never going to try to be sneaky ever again. When you mentioned you were going to be in Boston the only thing I could think of was to call Colin and see if he would help me set up a meeting with you, but Steph intervened. I had no idea they were back together. I can't believe you didn't tell me. Apparently they're much better at doing secret relationships than us."

"Ace, the point? You're rambling."

"Yes, I'm rambling. I'm nervous, if you can't tell. I knew I'd be nervous but I guess I didn't _really_ realize how nervous. And now that you're actually here, in the same room...this is actually happening-"

"Rory you're freaking me out."

Rory took another deep breath, ran her hands over her face and looked his in the eyes, willing herself to keep her voice calm and steady. "I'm pregnant. After a lot of careful consideration I have decided to keep it. I'm not telling you because I expect anything from you - you can be as uninvolved or involved as you like as long as you plan on being a consistent figure in the baby's life and not change your mind a few years down the road. I'm truly very sorry if this complicates your plans and relationship with Odette or your family. It wasn't ever my intention. I just wanted you to know and tell you in person."

Logan sat stone still. He could literally feel the adrenaline rushing through his system as his heart pounded in his chest. This cannot be happening. Just as he was finally coming to terms with his future with Odette. He looked up into Rory's eyes and the fear was still there. He had to say something.

"How did this happen?" Shit, wrong thing to say. "I mean, I'm sorry. I don't know what you want me to say Rory." He could feel the panic rising.

Rory was trying her hardest to remain calm. Her immediate reaction was very similar to Logan's when she saw those two pink lines. She knew he would need time to process but it still hurt to see him almost angry at the news of their baby's impending arrival. "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know. I've had time to process this and I know what I want. You need to do the same." She had to be strong, but god how she didn't realize how much she wanted him to sweep her into his arms and tell her everything is going to be alright until this very moment. The lump in her throat was almost painful but she couldn't cry. She didn't want him to think she was trying to manipulate him.

"Wow, a baby. How long have you known?"

"Just two weeks. I went to the doctor on Friday to have it confirmed. I'm due the end of June."

"Wow." He had to stop saying that. Logan's fight or flight instinct was kicking in, and he chose flight. He jumped off the couch, "I'm sorry Ace, I gotta get out of here...I need some air, I need to think...I'm sorry."

Logan practically ran out of the room and Rory heard the front door closing a few seconds later. The sound of the door slamming was still echoing in her ears when the floodgates opened and the tears started to fall. Without regard for where she was Rory curled up into a ball on the sofa in Colin's apartment and she let all the stress, the worry, the heartache, and the regrets of the past three years come out.

* * *

Stephanie didn't actually have a plan for what her and Colin should do with themselves while Rory was breaking the news to Logan. This was definitely a miscalculation on her part because she realized the two of them could be up there for hours talking. They were sitting in the lobby of Colin's building discussing their next move and he was none too pleased about being barred from his own home indefinitely. But after less than five minutes they saw Logan running out of the elevator and towards the front door without his suit jacket or coat.

"I gather he didn't take the news well," Colin retorted.

"Don't just sit there! Go after him! I'll head back upstairs to be with Rory. She shouldn't be alone right now." Stephanie couldn't believe the cluelessness of men sometimes.

"Steph, I really don't want to get involved. This is none of our business." Colin hated everything about this right now.

"They're our friends. You and Logan have been friends since junior high. He needs someone to talk to right now. Please go try to be the voice of reason!"

"Voice of reason? I have no idea what to say to him. What do you want me to do? Talk him into something? Leave his fiancé for his mistress? Give Rory a chunk of cash and sign a NDA? I don't know the right thing to do as much as he does."

Stephanie's eyes went wide and her nostrils flared. Colin immediately knew he had made a mistake. "Oh my god Colin, I seriously cannot believe you right now! He's your friend and he just needs someone to be there for him before he does something massively stupid. You know how he can be when he's panicked. And don't you dare tell him to try to buy off Rory! You know she can't be bought off, for one, and two that is his child we're talking about! Him and Rory love each other and have a lot to work out, but no matter what he has to be there for his child. After everything I've gone through with Kyle practically forgetting that Annabelle even exists! I just cannot believe you right now!" People were starting to stare but Stephanie didn't care.

Colin got up and started putting on his coat to go after Logan. He had an idea where he might be heading. He hadn't seen Stephanie get mad at him like this since they had dated at Yale and he knew when he was defeated. And of course she was right, as always. "I'm sorry babe, you're right. I'm being an ass. You head upstairs and I'll text you when I find him and get a feel for his mental state."

The color in Stephanie's face was starting to go down from the beet-red that she had worked it up to when she was yelling at Colin. She still couldn't believe Colin would suggest Logan abandoning Rory and their baby was a valid option. She actually didn't want to be involved either, but Rory came to her for help and that was exactly what she was going to do. She wasn't just going to stand on the sidelines and watch Logan run away from the one person she knew he truly loved. She watched as Colin quickly walked towards the door of his building, she sent a quick text to her mom that she was probably going to be late that night, then headed to the elevator.

* * *

 **A/N: Writing Stephanie was so fun! When I set out to write this story I didn't want to rely on ancillary characters too much, but she is a lot of fun and it's easy to get into her shoes. She's fun to be around but not ditzy or slapstick or one-dimensional. Some people will question why I had Stephanie and Colin be from the Boston area and attend Yale instead of Harvard. I have no answer for this other than artistic license and I just picked Boston even though I've only been there once in my life.**

 **I'm assuming there are going to be some readers who aren't happy with my portrayal of Logan right now. Running out of the apartment is a really hurtful thing to do, but most people, even in healthy and committed relationships, do temporarily panic when hit with the news of an unplanned pregnancy. And Rory and Logan are anything but that! The real question is how is he going to respond once he has a chance to calm down?**

 **This chapter and the next are really dialogue heavy, which in general isn't my favorite, because in real life no one talks in long, uninterrupted paragraphs like that, but I think this is an exception because 1) GG do talk a lot and 2) this is a situation where lots of talking would happen. Or hopefully would happen instead of like on the revival when Rory and Logan did everything but have honest conversations about their relationship.**


	11. Chapter 11

Colin only had to walk four blocks west of his apartment building before he found Logan. He had a pretty good idea of where he had ran away to; they had already made plans to meet at the bar before he'd been coerced into asking Logan to come to his apartment first in a ploy to get him and Rory in the same room.

When he walked in he saw Logan sitting alone at the end of the bar, practically gulping down four fingers of scotch. He walked over, sat on the empty stool next to him, took the glass out of Logan's hand and sniffed at the small amount of liquid left in the crystal old fashioned glass. "The Glenfiddich? This isn't the kind of scotch you drink like a teenager who broke into the liquor cabinet. You should know that Huntz. A situation like this calls for an American whiskey. Unless we're celebrating. Is that what we're doing? Celebrating your impending fatherhood?"

Logan side-eyed him silently. Colin sat the glass down, signaled to the bartender and continued, "I bet it's going to be cute. You know, Rory's eyes and your pretty boy hair and all that. The combination of that much patrician WASP DNA is bound to produce the most attractive child Hartford has ever seen."

"So how long have you known?"

"I found out about four minutes before you did man. She called last week and Steph stole the phone out of my hand before I had a chance to ask her what was going on. They had lunch yesterday and I came home today to Stephanie telling me Rory was coming over and to ask you to meet at my place. I swear I had no idea she was going to drop this on you."

The bartender came over and Colin ordered a Glenfiddich too and another for Logan. The two men sat silently for several minutes lost in thought. Logan's week had already been a long one. He had been exhausted and distracted from all the travel and thinking about why Rory had called him. He found himself short tempered and snapping at employees, something he never did. Logan had actually planned on talking with Colin that night about Rory's mystery call and ask his advice on what to do, if anything.

The irony of this entire situation wasn't lost on him. He had spent years wanting nothing more than to really be with Rory and start a family. And now as soon as he had started to accept that wasn't going to happen and come to terms with his marriage to Odette - he was even trying to fall in love with her for the love of god - Rory drops this bombshell. Logan wanted to do the right thing, but he was more conflicted than ever. What was the right thing? He knew that him and Rory could make things work if they both, more her than him, put in the effort, but was she willing to do that? Did she even want to do that? She had said she didn't even expect him to be involved in his own child's life if that's what he wanted. How could she ever think that about him after all these years?

And what about Odette? He didn't want to marry her, but she was a good person who hadn't done anything to deserve this kind of treatment. And now he has to tell her he fathered a child with another woman whom he has been secretly dating for almost three years. Two years ago, a year and a half ago, hell six months ago this would've been the best news of his life. Now he was five months away from marrying another woman. This was going to kill her. And his family. God his family is going to be furious. He stopped caring about their opinions on his personal life a long time ago, especially his mother, but he knew his father would be mad about the implications for HPG. He knew his dad liked Rory personally, but when it came to business Odette was Mitchum's clear choice for a wife for his only son.

He knew he would never love another woman as much as he loved Rory, but was he willing to sacrifice his relationship with his family when Rory hadn't ever been willing to concede any kind of compromise for him? She had to realize a baby would mean they would have to be connected to each other forever. That would mean being committed to each other at least as parents but would she be willing to go all in? It didn't necessarily have to be marriage, but at the very least she would need to let him in. Could she admit out loud she loved him and wanted to be with him? When they were younger at Yale neither of them was ever afraid of being upfront and honest with each other about their relationship. Now they were both so guarded with their thoughts and feelings. Why were they so scared? Logan hated all of this. It was all so absurd. What had they done to each other?

Rory must be hurting right now. She acted brave but Logan knew her well enough to know that she was dying inside when she told him about the baby. He hated that he had hurt her for running out, but he had panicked. And now he had to think of what he was going to say when he went back to her. He needed a plan. He needed the perfect words. But he had no fucking clue what the perfect words were in this situation.

"What do I do?"

Colin had been covertly texting Stephanie while Logan was mentally ruminating on his entire future and was caught off guard when he finally broke their silence. He looked straight ahead as he spoke, "I think you already know what to do."

"I love her. More than anything in this world. I love her and want her to be happy. And I want to be a father. I want to do right everything that my parents did wrong."

"Then it sounds like it's even simpler than I thought. Marry Rory, have genetically blessed offspring, live happily ever after. Problem solved."

"I'll break Odette's heart."

"Huntz, no offense man, but you broke her heart the first time you and Gilmore had your first grown up sleepover, she just didn't know it yet."

"And then there's the money."

"What about money? Are you saying Rory's trying to get your money? That's not like her."

"No man, Odette's money. My dad is kind of depending on her family's money for HPG when she inherits it."

"What are you talking about? I own HPG stock. Everything is fine. Sure you could stand to trim some fat, but it's not like you're going belly up. Trust me; I know your financial outlook better than you probably do."

"Why do you think my dad wanted me to come back? He knew he was over his head when it came to digital media. I'm trying but I'm fighting 150 years of 'this is how we've always done it.' We still have papers that I need to keep afloat until I can turn them around."

"And so Odette's inheritance is going to be used to bankroll HPG until you can, what? Put in more paywalls? Hire more bloggers? I don't get it. Does Odette know your plans for her inheritance?"

"It's not like that. Things aren't dire, you clearly know that. I'm not lying to stockholders. I don't want to go to jail. But what if fifteen years down the road things aren't working out the way I planned and we _need_ an extra billion lying around?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're worried about fifteen years down the road? Are you saying you want to tell your kid when he's fifteen years old that you couldn't be with his mother because you were scared you couldn't do your job? That's weak and you know it." Logan remained silent so Colin continued. He and Logan had been friends for more years than they hadn't, and he needed to hear some truths, harsh or otherwise. "Huntz, we've been friends since we were kids. As much as it'd kill Finn to hear this, you're my best friend. So I think I have some authority when I say I know you pretty well. I know it killed you when Rory turned you down all those years ago, but it's within my rights as your friend to tell you that you were a jackass when you broke up with her just because she wasn't ready to get married at twenty-two. I know you love her. You don't love Odette. I realize you've been in London so long the British are starting to rub off on you, but don't ruin the best thing that could ever happen to you out of some twisted sense of duty."

"Since when did you get to be so wise?"

"When I stopped being an asshole and realized that I was tired of fucking around with all of those girls who thought I was their golden ticket."

"On behalf of all of us, I'd like to say thank you for that." All of their mutual friends couldn't stand the monthly rotation of wanna-be real housewives.

"And I realized I wanted to be with the only woman who I know that I'll never be good enough for. I don't deserve Stephanie and thank my lucky stars every day that she even deigns to talk to me."

"You got one thing right. What about her daughter? What's it like being around her?"

"It's surreal. She just accepts that I'm around on the weekends. Sometimes she practically ignores me and plays with her toys all day, but other times she talks and talks and talks to me until I think my head is going to explode if she asks one more question. Just like her mother but ten times worse. Steph just watches and laughs."

"Do you want to be her dad?"

"She has a dad, a shitty one, but he's her dad. I don't know where I stand on that. Steph and I haven't really discussed it. It's a huge responsibility, but if she asked I'd do it. Because I love Steph, and I do love Annabelle. She deserves a father who cares enough to talk to her more than a few minutes a week on the phone. And you need to think about that my friend. Do you want Rory to start dating some random guy a few years down the road who becomes your kid's new dad? Because that WILL happen Huntz. Rory isn't the kind of woman who is going to stay single even if she wants to. And you know the second they think its safe Finn or Robert will try to swoop in."

"Not if they like having all their appendages attached to their bodies they won't."

Colin took another drink of his very expensive scotch. "Okay, enough of this bullshit. You need to make a decision and do something. You know Gilmore is probably going crazy right now."

"I know what I want to do, but I don't know what I should do."

"Again, I must say enough of this bullshit. You know the answer to that."

Logan finished his drink and took a moment to feel the warmth of the alcohol coursing through his veins, giving him the strength to walk out into the frigid New England November night without a coat or suit jacket. "Take me to her."

* * *

When Stephanie opened the door to the apartment she could hear the muffled sobs coming from the living room. She rounded the corner from the foyer and saw Rory curled up in a ball on Colin's sofa, her tiny frame shaking from her pain and tears. Steph's heart broke seeing her old friend like this and immediately went into mom-mode. She thought about Annabelle and how she would react if she was in the same situation many, many years from now, and then her heart broke all over again for Rory. Pregnancy can heighten every emotion, and she couldn't imagine how much Rory was hurting right now. Whatever was said between she and Logan, Stephanie couldn't believe he would run out on Rory like that. She tried to not think about how angry she was at Logan at the moment and focus on being there for Rory.

She walked over and sat on the edge of the couch where Rory had curled up and was currently trying to bury her face into a throw pillow. "So I take it he didn't take the news well?" she asked as she placed her hand on Rory's shoulder for support. Rory shook her head no but didn't speak. She just hiccupped instead. "It's going to be okay. I cannot believe him right now, but that doesn't matter. Everything is going to be okay. He probably just needs some time to digest."

Rory sniffed, "I know he does. It took me a few days to get over the shock. I know I shouldn't expect him to jump for joy immediately when it took me over a week just to say the words out loud, but it still," hiccup, "it still hurts you know?"

"Of course it does. He just needs some time."

"I told him he doesn't have to be involved if he doesn't want to be, I'm not trying to pressure him into anything you know that." Rory's red-rimmed eyes looked into Stephanie's and she almost started crying herself. Rory was so desperately trying to convince herself that she didn't want or need Logan. Why were those two trying to fight it?

"I know you're not. But you can admit it if you want him to be involved. It's okay to be honest with yourself. I won't tell anyone, your secret is safe with me."

"I didn't realize until that very moment how much I wanted him to tell me he loved me and everything was going to be alright. I don't need to be rescued, but maybe I wanted it. I want him to want this baby too." At the last sentence Rory started crying in earnest again. Stephanie didn't know what to say that Rory wasn't already thinking so she just rubbed up and down Rory's upper arm until she got it all out.

"I feel like such a failure," she croaked out in between sniffles.

"What are you talking about? Because you have an unplanned pregnancy? Half of all babies born in this country are unplanned. You're hardly a failure."

"That's the thing, I actually am. My career is shit. I'm totally unemployed." Rory was really embarrassed to be telling Stephanie all of this, but at this point what did it matter? Might as well let her in on all of her secrets now. "That's right, no job, no income, no apartment. Freelancing was a total mistake. Then I blew two job interviews. I even slept with some random guy I was interviewing for a terrible story that I could've written in my sleep when I was in freaking high school. I'm a total mess. How can I raise a child? I'm staying in my grandmother's vacant house in Hartford, writing a book about me and my mom without an agent and a spec piece on the election that's probably just a rehashing of everything every other freelancer in the world has already written that's my last hope at a being a journalist and having gainful employment before I give up and become a teacher."

"Oh Ror', it's going to be alright." Then a thought popped into Stephanie's head, "You're sure this rando one night stand isn't...?"

"What? God no, I'm sure. That was months ago." Great, now Stephanie thought she was a slut too. Maybe she should've left that part out. At least she didn't tell her about the wookie costume.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to imply anything. Forget that I asked. That wasn't fair of me. I haven't really dated since, well, Yale, so I forget what it's like to be single." Stephanie tilted her head and gave Rory a sly grin. "I'm actually a little jealous. You know I've only had sex with three guys? Yep, that's it. I have no idea what it's like to be a single woman. I've never really traveled. I've lived here and Chicago, that's it. I got married to someone who I'm not sure I ever really loved and was divorced five years later. Then I moved here to be with Colin. I study tax laws and write wills for rich people. But you, Rory Gilmore, you have had life experiences! So what if your life hasn't gone exactly according to plan? You've traveled the world, you met important people, you've been published in famous newspapers and magazines - you freaking interviewed Barack Obama for the love of god! And then Michelle! That is incredible."

"That was long time ago, oh how the mighty have fallen."

"That's not true, you're just going through a rough patch, that's all. A really rough patch. But you're one of the best writers I've ever read. I'm not just saying that because you're my friend, it's true."

Rory sniffled and hiccupped again, "I don't know if I can do this on my own. I want to be brave and independent like my mother. I don't want to admit that I want him, but I do. I really want him to be there. My dad missed out on so much and don't get me wrong, my mom was amazing and more than enough, but I did still want my dad around. I don't want my kid to feel like that too. I want my kid to have a family," then she paused, realizing she had just massively put her foot in her mouth. "Oh my god, Steph, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to imply that you're a bad mom or made the wrong choice. I think you're actually an amazing mother. You have your life so together. Annabelle is so lucky to have you as an example."

Stephanie just waved it off, "Don't worry about it, I know what you mean. Annabelle was already missing a father when Kyle and I were still together. I want more for her than that. And I think actually Colin could do a great job as a father once he's ready to accept that role. He's never really been around kids, but he's great with her."

Rory nodded her head, "I had someone like that growing up."

"And I don't think I have everything together, far from it! I still worry every day if I'm doing the right thing. All moms do. Am I missing out on everything by working so much? Did I choose the right school? Did I pack the right lunch? Am I depriving her if I don't let her have a dog? Should I encourage her to play a sport or let her do her own thing? I question myself constantly if I'm making the right decisions. You will too."

Rory looked up at Stephanie and looked her in the eye, "I want him to want to be there," she paused for a second then continued, "Do you think I'm being selfish?"

Stephanie wrinkled her forehead in confusion. "Selfish? No, why?"

"Because of her."

"Her? Oh, _her_." We're apparently not saying her name out loud, Stephanie thought to herself. "I don't know...you two were definitely not on your best behavior. I still don't get it, why all the sneaking around? But selfish for wanting the father of your child to be there for it? To be a family? No, that's not selfish at all."

"Have you met her?"

"No, I've only seen Logan once since Colin and I got back together and he never even mentioned her or brought up the engagement. I asked Colin what she was like and he said 'She's French and likes to shop,'" she said trying to mimic her boyfriend's voice. Both women laughed a little at the necessary comic relief.

Stephanie took in her friend's face, red and splotchy from broken capillaries, blue eyes rimmed red from tears, makeup smeared all over. Admitting your truth can be hard. She didn't want to do it when she had to finally concede that her marriage was over. Rory didn't want to because for some reason she equated being with Logan to some type of weakness. Logan had better damn well make this right was all she could think. Stephanie reached over to hug Rory. "Just give him a little time. He loves you. That is the one thing I know for sure. He has loved you since that weekend you came to our LDB gathering."

"God that was a long time ago!"

"I know, we were just kids. Ugh, we were so obnoxious too. A bunch of entitled rich college kids. I don't know how anyone could stand us," Stephanie said with a laugh.

"Insufferable is the word that comes to mind."

"Blindly privileged and dreading any real responsibility that would result in actually earning the money we were wasting." Steph let out a sigh, "I don't know how our professors put up with us."

Rory shook her head in agreement, thinking about a rather embarrassing stunt at Yale that probably didn't endear Logan, Colin, Finn or Rory to her psych professor. Then she sighed, contemplating many other stupid things that both of them did back then. "We made a lot of mistakes. Logan and I hurt each other so much."

"Colin and I did too back then. I've been playing the what-if game a lot lately, but no good comes from that. What if we had fought harder to stay together? Who the hell knows? I wouldn't have gone to Northwestern, met Kyle and had Annabelle, so I don't even want to think about that. You shouldn't do it either. Were you ready to get married back then? Was Logan honestly ready?"

Rory got a wistful look in her eye. "No, we weren't ready. I still missed him so much though. I thought about it all the time when we were apart. Maybe we could've made it work."

"Maybe. But that's the danger of the what-if game. You wouldn't have had all of those life experiences and done all those amazing things with your career. You can only look at what's ahead of you. And that's a beautiful baby with a man who has loved you for over a decade."

"If he wants to be involved, that is," Rory said with another sniffle.

"Oh please! He'll come around. He'd be a fool not to. Sure it's going to get messy, really messy, before it gets better but it _will_ get better. You can handle all this. You're a mom now; you'd be amazed at what you can handle when you're a mom." Stephanie squeezed her hand and then all of a sudden Rory made a face and clutched her stomach. "Oh no, I'm going to be sick." She hunched forward trying to suppress the urge to vomit but quickly gave up and made a beeline for the bathroom.

Stephanie got up to follow her but pulled her phone out of her pocket first. Colin had sent her a text that said he had found Logan but nothing else since. She quickly typed out a reply that he needed to get Logan back to that apartment NOW before heading into the bathroom to hold Rory's hair.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Rory was leaning back against the tile wall in Colin's bathroom as Stephanie handed her cool washcloth. "I guess I should get back to my hotel. He's not coming back and you probably need to go home."

"Nonsense, you could get sick again. Go rest and I'll get you some water and crackers." There was no way she was letting Rory go sit by herself in a depressing hotel room right now.

"Seriously Steph, I'll be okay."

"Rory, you just had a very emotionally draining night and then puked your guts up because your hormones are going berserk. I insist. I already told my mom that I'll be late so I don't need to rush off. Why don't you go lie down in the guest room for a few minutes?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. Now don't make me make you. I may be short but I'm pretty sure I could take you at this point."

Rory laughed and smiled gratefully. She really wanted to be alone to cry her eyes out, but Steph was right. She felt so incredibly tired.

A few minutes later Stephanie was in the kitchen preparing a tray to take in for Rory when she heard the front door open. She walked into the foyer to find Colin and a very disheveled Logan. His tie was hanging loosely from his neck, his hair was a far cry from its usual artfully mussed up style, and his cheeks were crimson from walking in the cold in only a thin cotton shirt. She also noted his pupils were a little dilated. Great, he got drunk.

"Where is she? Is she still here?"

Stephanie held up her hand in a stop signal. "Hold your horses Huntzberger. Rory has been through A LOT tonight-"

"And I haven't?" He said, cutting her off.

"Logan, I am not letting you go in there if you're just going to make her even more upset. Exactly how drunk are you right now?"

"I had a few drinks, I'm not drunk. Even if I was the walk over would have sobered me up. And no offense Steph, but this is really between me and Rory." There was more than just a touch of hostility in Logan's voice.

Stephanie opened her mouth to really tear into Logan but Colin beat her to the punch, "Stephanie, he's fine. I was with him the entire time."

She looked back and forth between the two men and set her mouth in a thin line. "Come with me," she said as she grabbed Logan by the arm and drug him into the kitchen.

"I realize I cannot begin to understand how you're feeling right now," she said with much more empathy in her voice than before. "That was, well, the shock of a lifetime. But right now you have to put whatever you're feeling aside. Rory is very vulnerable right now and I was serious when I said I'm not going to let you go in there if you're going to hurt her more. Give her the night to rest before you break her heart."

"You really think that's my intention?"

"It might not be your intention but for reasons I'll never quite understand the two of you have been doing a pretty good job of hurting yourselves, and others, lately despite the fact that you're both madly in love with each other."

"I know. I'm really scared Steph, but I'm going to make this right. I promise."

Stephanie handed him the tray with a plate of crackers and a bottle of water, "She's lying down in the guest room. I sent her in there after she got done expelling the contents of her stomach from the past 24 hours. Make her eat the crackers and slowly sip the water."

Logan wordlessly accepted the tray and nodded at Stephanie, the enormity of the situation hitting him. What he said to Rory tonight would permanently alter the path of his life. He turned to leave the kitchen but Stephanie touched his arm to get his attention one last time, "Hey Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Congratulations."

He smiled at his old friend and it hit him like a ton of bricks, we're adults now, he thought. At their age people congratulate you when there's a baby on the way even if it's unplanned. Stephanie was a mother, Colin was definitely going to be a step-father soon and they'll probably have kids of their own, and this time next year him and Rory were going to be parents themselves. This was the beginning of the next stage of his life that he didn't realize he wanted so badly. They were the grown-ups, they were the parents and their parents were going to be the grandparents. Even if they technically already were, it wasn't as real when it was your sibling's kids and not your own. This is how all of human history has moved forward. You're the child then you're the parent. Your parents age before your eyes. One day his son or daughter will see him as aging. It felt oddly comforting. He was ready for this.

"Thanks," he said with a real smile.

* * *

Logan gently tapped on the door and pushed it open. Rory had fell asleep almost as soon as she had flopped onto the bed face first and that was how she remained, with her face buried in between two pillows in the center of the bed. He put the tray down on the nightstand next to her purse. It had been left open and there was what he clearly recognized as a sonogram picture sitting inside.

Logan gingerly picked it up at the edge and took it in. On the top was a heading "Hartford Women's Health Associates" and underneath "Gilmore, Lorelai Leigh 10-8-84, EDD 6-27-17." He had never seen a sonogram before but he had watched enough television and film to know the fuzzy blob was the baby growing inside Rory. A feeling of pride he'd never felt before overtook him. He had always felt it was a little melodramatic, the way prospective parents showed off a picture of a fetus the size of your pinky fingernail, but he all of a sudden had the urge to run out and buy a frame.

He sat down next to the peacefully sleeping Rory, brushing the hair off the side of her face where all he could see was the top right hand corner of her forehead and eyebrow. "Rory," he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Ace, it's me."

Rory stirred and turned her head completely to the side, taking in Logan and then immediately remembering where she was and what had transpired that night. "Logan, oh my god, you're back. I'm sorry I fell asleep."

"It's okay. Stephanie told me what happened. How are you feeling?"

Rory sat up, "Like I just puked my guts up. But the good news is I'm getting accustomed to the feeling and it's not as sucky as it was the first few times it happened."

Logan took in her appearance. Her cheeks were still tear stained, eyes were bloodshot from crying, her nose was red and her lips were dried and cracked. He had never seen Rory look so awful and he immediately felt like garbage for making her cry as much as she obviously had. He never wanted to make any woman cry like that, but especially not Rory Gilmore. He pulled her into a hug, "I'm so sorry Ace. So, so sorry," he whispered in her ear. "Here," he turned and handed her the bottle of water, "Steph said you need to sip this and eat the crackers."

Rory silently accepted the water and drank, not sure what to say. The look on Logan's face was unreadable, and it made her uncomfortable because she wasn't used to not knowing exactly what he was thinking at all times. After about 30 very long seconds that felt more like an eternity she had to break the silence. "I'm sorry Logan."

"Sorry for what? You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who ran out of here like a jackass. I'm sorry I did that to you Ace."

"It's okay Logan, really, I understand. I've had weeks to get accustomed to the idea. My initial reaction was much like yours. I wanted to run as far away as possible. I'm not mad. I'm just sorry I'm putting your through this in the first place. I swear to you I have never missed a pill, I don't have any idea how it happened."

"Ace, I think I have a pretty good idea how it happened. It happened twice that night if my memory serves me correctly." He raised his eyebrows and gave her a smirk.

Rory rolled her eyes, "Yes, I remember that part very well. You know what I mean; I wasn't trying to be careless. I would never try to trap you with a baby."

"Rory, I don't want to sound harsh but please don't insult me with that. You know I would NEVER assume that about you. It would never even cross my mind you could do something like that."

"Logan -" she said attempting to interject but he wouldn't let her.

"I know exactly what happened that night. We made love and made a baby. Any time you have sex you have to accept the risk that there's a very small possibility you'll get pregnant regardless of how much protection you use. Nothing is one hundred percent." He reached up with one hand and stroked the side of her face, "It doesn't matter. I'm not angry at you. Ace, I could never be angry at you for this. And I could never regret any time I've ever made love to you."

Rory sat there for a moment taking in everything Logan had said. He wasn't angry but they still had a lot to resolve. An awkward silence fell over the two.

"So..."

"So..."

"I wrote another chapter for my book. And I just finished a piece on the election about micro-aggressions against democratic norms and institutions. My freelance agent thinks it can get picked up at Slate or HuffPo."

"That's great Ace!"

"Yeah, it feels so good to be in a writing grove again. I've been staying at my grandparent's house-"

"Emily knows?" Logan asked with panic in his voice. He didn't want word of the baby to get to his parents through society gossip channels before he has a chance to tell them himself.

"Lord no! I forgot you didn't know, she moved to Nantucket. She bought a house on the beach, quit the DAR and is a now a part-time docent at a whaling museum."

"I don't know how to respond to that."

"I know. She's selling the house in Hartford, or at least she says she is. I haven't seen or heard from a realtor since I've been there. It's a little spooky with half the furniture missing, but I spend most of my time writing in my grandfather's old study. I feel so productive there."

"That's really great Ace. I told you it was just a rough patch. You're an amazing writer." Logan felt immense pride in Rory. He knew all along she just needed a quiet place to refocus her writing energies and apparently that place was Richard Gilmore's wood paneled study.

"Thank you," she said quietly and another awkward silence came between them. "So, how've you been?"

"Do you really want to do the small talk right now?" He wanted to ignore the elephant in the room also, but it wasn't helping anything to delay the inevitable.

"No, I guess not. I don't even know how to begin."

"Me either."

"Well, I guess I should restate my position from before your little Usain Bolt impression. I have no expectations here. You can be involved or not, it's your choice. I can do this on my own. All I ask is if you want to be involved you can't change your mind once the baby is here."

"Do you really think that little of me Rory?" The tentativeness from before was gone from his voice. Logan was getting more than a little pissed off at Stephanie and now Rory assuming he would abandon his child. Sure, he had panicked at first but he would never, could never just walk away like Rory and the baby didn't exist. "I'll say it again, don't insult me. I can't believe you would think I'd ever just go back to my life like you and our baby mean nothing to me."

"Logan, I'm sorry. I...I didn't mean to offend you, but I'm the one who has to be prepared for anything here. I honestly didn't think you would not want to be involved, but you have to admit you don't have the best track record for sticking around when things aren't going exactly your way." She gave him a pointed look. "You have a tendency to take your ball and go home when I don't want to do things on your timeline and that's just not going to fly with this baby."

She had him there, and Logan knew it. That was her ultimate trump card. He was just going to have to convince her to trust him. "Did you just use two sports metaphors?"

"No, I used sports analogies."

"That's why you're the writer Ace."

"I'm being serious here Logan."

"I know, I know...you're right. In the past I have given you reasons to believe that I run away when I don't want to deal with our problems, tonight being the latest example of that unimpressive behavior. But Ace, this is our child we're talking about. I'm never going to run away from it, no matter what. I swear."

"Logan, I want to believe you - you have no idea how much I want to believe you. But you know how hard it was on me when my dad would come and go as he pleased when I was a kid. I don't want that. You say that now, but what happens when your fiancé finds out?"

"Rory, do you honestly think I'm going to marry someone else now?" Logan was astounded that Rory could seriously think he would even consider marrying Odette now.

"I don't want to be the reason you leave her. And I definitely don't want this baby to bear the burden of keeping you from being happy with Odette."

"Oh my god Rory, don't you get it? Being with Odette is what's keeping me from being happy!"

"Then why the hell are you with her?"

"It's complicated. I told you what the situation was when we got engaged."

"Yeah that's right. And what happens when your family finds out that you're having an illegitimate child with Rory Gilmore and not using Odette for her inheritance?"

"I'll handle them. They're not your problem."

"Will people lose their jobs?"

"I can't answer that right now."

Rory shot him a look. "So this baby's very existence could cause people I've never met to lose their livelihoods?"

"That's a little melodramatic Ace. I said I can't answer that because I don't know the exact numbers. If it makes you feel better I don't _think_ anyone is going to lose their jobs, at least not any time soon. I have some things I need take care of first, but please, just trust me that I know what I'm doing and can handle it." If I say it out loud it must be true, he tells himself.

"I just don't want to hurt any more people than we already have," she said with a whisper.

"Ace, look at me," he said and pulled her chin up with his finger, "we have been a bit careless with other people lately." At that Rory's eyebrows shot up to convey the understatement. "Okay, very careless. I'm going to have to hurt someone who I don't love but I do care about Odette. It's going to suck. We're going to have to admit to our friends and families that we've been lying to them and sneaking around. It's probably going to be a little embarrassing at the very least. But this," he picked up the sonogram photo he left lying on the nightstand, "this will be worth everything."

"You really think that?"

"Rory, I want to be clear," he said and she was instantly transported back to almost another lifetime ago to a ballroom in her grandparents' country club, "I have wanted to start a family with you since I was twenty-five. I want this more than anything in the world. It's going to be scary but it's also going to be an adventure. And you've always been my favorite travel companion."

"You're just saying that because I let you join the mile high club." As much as Rory pretended to be embarrassed by the extravagances of Logan's life, private planes did have their benefits.

"Well that's not the only reason you're my favorite travel companion."

They both let out a little laugh to alleviate the tension until Rory's laugh turned into a yawn. "I'm sorry. You're not boring me, I'm just so tired all the time now. I passed out before 8:30 every night for the past week."

"It's okay Ace. One time Honor fell asleep when she was on the phone with me when she was pregnant with Sheridan. You need to rest."

"Speaking of Honor, she's going to freak out when we tell her." Rory felt a little uneasy about how much she knew about Honor's life from everything Logan had told her and yet Honor was completely in the dark about his relationship with Rory. She knew all about her three children, eight year old Sheridan, named after Josh's mother's family, six year old Drew, and she was even by Logan's side when he got the call when surprise baby Beatrice, or Birdie as she was called by family, was born 18 months ago. They had moved to Westchester when Josh had finished his residency at Columbia and every time Logan would visit Rory in New York he was always just coming from or leaving to go visit Honor and her family.

That was when she would let herself fantasize about what might have been the most. They would have been cool Aunt Rory and Uncle Logan. They would have always given them the best birthday presents. They could have picked up the kids for an afternoon in the city at children's museums and dropped them off with their parents hours later hopped up on cotton candy and ice cream. When they got older the girls would confide in Rory all the things they were scared to tell their mother. This was the life she could've had if she had said yes. Then Rory would inevitably get mad at herself for letting herself get caught up in the fantasy. She needed to stay practical. There's so much she wouldn't have experienced if they had gotten married. She wouldn't have gone on the campaign trail and her entire career could be completely different. She would've never interviewed a sitting president and first lady, traveled the world on her own, had flings with insanely sexy Brazilian men... Steph was right, there is no use playing the what-if game. But still, she hated that she knew all these intimate details about Honor's life and family, and Honor herself was completely oblivious to Rory's relationship with her brother. She had even helped Logan pick out a series of books for Sheridan's last birthday. He had texted her the details when Drew got his first base hit in tee ball. Would Honor be furious that she ruined his engagement? She hoped she would at least go easy on them. They were friends once upon a time. And Sheridan, Drew and Birdie were going to be her child's cousins. That made Rory smile. She had always wanted cousins when she was a kid. She hoped they could be close even if Honor hated Rory for being a home wrecker.

"Are you kidding me? She is dying to be an aunt. Josh is an only child and she has been bugging me to reproduce for years. She's going to be thrilled!"

"I hope. She probably didn't want you to reproduce with a home wrecking trollop."

"Awww Ace, but you're my trollop. That's all I care about." Logan gave her another hug and continued, "Honor is going to be happy, _trust me_. Honor loves you. It took years for her to stop berating me after we broke up. I'm actually a little frightened of how excited she's going to be. We might have to get a restraining order." Rory started giggling but that again turned into yawns. "Okay Ace, let's get you to bed."

"My hotel is so far away. I didn't want to pay to stay in the city."

"You don't seriously think I'm going to let you out of my sight? I've missed you like crazy."

Rory tilted her head and gave him a pointed look, "Logan, no offense but I don't think falling into bed is the right move here."

"Get your mind out of the gutter Ace. You need to fall into bed and go to sleep." He brushed the side of her cheek with his thumb and gave her a gentle kiss. "We'll have plenty of time for that later," he said with a wink. Rory just rolled her eyes. She had been so nauseous and preoccupied the past week sex had been the farthest thing from her mind. They gathered her things and made an awkward exit from the apartment. Colin could barely make eye contact with either of them, but Stephanie of course gave Rory and Logan both tight hugs and promised to call her the next day. Logan had a car waiting for them at the curb and Rory laid her head on his shoulder and fell asleep almost as soon as she clicked her seatbelt.

* * *

 **A/N: So they've talked but they haven't really _talked_. I hope this is good enough to keep everyone coming back because I'm sorry to announce this story is going to be taking a break for a few weeks. I just need some time to get a few chapters ahead. I am constantly going back and re-writing or updating my timeline as I am writing new chapters so I need a cushion so I'm not locked into every plot point. For example, it's killing me that I wrote in chapter 4 that Lorelai had never been to Ireland before when I remembered of course Rory and Lorelai went there on their backpacking trip after her high school graduation. I promise I won't be gone long. As I said before, I'm committed to finishing this story no matter what. Plus I've been writing this last chapter non-stop and need a couple days to let my brain decompress. **

**I loved and appreciated everyone's feedback from the last chapter! I even went past 100 followers which was a big deal to me since this is my first fanfic in over a decade.** **I debated on whether or not to even address this, but what the heck. To the guest reviewer, I totally think you are of course entitled to your opinion that Logan wouldn't have ran out and would have proposed to Rory on the spot. While we all go to fanfic for a happily ever after (or at least most people do), I also work hard to be as realistic as possible in a fictional world because I think it's a lot more compelling and interesting to read. I've been really tempted to post a negative review as a guest before, I get it and don't judge, but I would also welcome an open dialogue if you want to pm me so I can explain my thought process if you'd like. But of course, you can't please everyone.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello friends. I know I said this would only be a few weeks hiatus but it turned into something much longer than that. Much like our protagonist, I found myself knocked up (on purpose, so not that much like her) and then got very ill and even had to be hospitalized briefly. The flu this year is no joke. Combine it with morning sickness and there will be fleeting moments when you legitimately think death might be a sweet release. So needless to say writing took a backseat to just trying to survive. Throw in the holidays and a 4 year old's birthday party and I only got three chapters completed. Not nearly close to my goal but better than nothing. Thank you to all my reviewers, I really appreciate all your kind words. I hope you enjoy this one.**

* * *

The next morning Rory awoke to the sound of the shower running in the adjoining bathroom. After a few moments she adjusted to her surroundings and remembered where she was. The night before when they got to Logan's impressive hotel suite she quickly changed into one on his t-shirts and fell asleep after a quick snack from the mini bar. She didn't remember much since she was so exhausted, but smiled to herself clearly remembering Logan wrapping his arms around her and kissing her temple before she closed her eyes and passed out.

But now in the morning light she felt very ill at ease about her current location, where her and Logan stood, and their situation in general. They hadn't really discussed any specifics the night before. She didn't know what was going to happen between the two of them because there wasn't any sort of plan. He said he wanted to be there for her and the baby. What did that mean exactly? And more importantly, what did she want? He swore to her last night he was done running away when things got difficult, but Rory was scared to believe him. When she was younger she trusted him with her heart and soul and he walked away the one time she _had to_ put herself and her career first, taking her heart with him. He had matured since then, but could she risk him doing the same to her child? She had guarded herself carefully these past few years. Logan had been wonderful when they were together, but he had never made any move for them to be anything more. Now she was supposed to trust him because he got mushy looking at a sonogram picture? She loved him so much. So, so very much. But she had to stay rational and practical. Trust can't be built overnight.

A few seconds later the shower shut off and the bathroom door was cracked open so steam could escape. The thought of pretending to be asleep quickly crossed Rory's mind but she pushed it back. She had to face this head on, like everything else lately. Logan walked out in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist so keeping her eyes open was definitely the right choice. She would never stop questioning what she had done right in her life to enjoy the privilege of seeing this man naked.

"Morning, Ace." He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, still wearing nothing but that damn towel.

Rory gave him a tight smile and nodded her head. "Good morning." He gave her a real smile and she oddly never felt more grateful for her morning breath. Making out with him would probably not be the best idea given their circumstances. Her morning sickness and bone-tired exhaustion from the past week hadn't put her in the mood for anything other than elastic waist pants and a body pillow, but a nearly-naked Logan within striking distance did things to her that she couldn't control. She was only human after all.

"I would ask how you slept but considering your gold medal snoring performance from last night I already know." Logan had never heard Rory snore before except when she was sick, but last night she had woken him several times snoring as loud as his late grandfather when he would fall asleep after Thanksgiving dinner.

"I do not snore!"

"Oh yes you do. That baby must've been really tired, because you were sawing logs like a lumberjack all night."

"Well I don't believe you but if I did, then I obviously can't help it if pregnancy makes me snore."

"It's going to be a long nine months."

Rory stayed silent at his last comment, wondering what he was implying. He assumed he would be sleeping next to her every night. Did he want her to move to London? A knock at the door broke her from her reverie.

"That must be room service. I didn't know if you would want your usual or if your stomach would still be upset, so I ordered a little bit of everything." Logan got up and quickly threw on boxers and an undershirt, and Rory still took the time to admire his well toned backside as she was ruminating on the state of their relationship. Nope, never would get tired of seeing him naked. Definitely a check in the pro column.

A minute later Logan returned with a cup of coffee in his hand, and Rory had still not moved from her position in bed. "Are you feeling okay Ace? Still tired?"

"No, I just have learned that if I stay lying down for a few minutes after I wake up it helps with the nausea. Starting my day off hugging a toilet bowl is not very fun. I'm trying to avoid it at all cost."

"I hate that you have to be so sick all the time."

"My doctor said it should only be about four more weeks and I'll start feeling normal again. I'm almost 9 weeks now. It doesn't make sense. Even though we know the day the baby was conceived they calculate it based on my last period."

"Sounds like some kind of vast international medical conspiracy to me."

"Me too." She stretched her arms above her head, "I think I'm good to get up now, as long as I do it slowly." Logan put his coffee on the nightstand and helped pull Rory up to a seated position. "You don't have to literally pick me up Logan. I'm not a baby, just growing one."

"Hey, gotta take care of my baby mama."

"Oh god, please don't ever say that ever again."

"Sorry, just something I thought about trying out. Coffee?"

"I'll wait. I can only have one cup a day and I like to savor it mid-morning before I start writing."

"Of course. I hate not knowing all these details. I hate that I wasn't there for you for your first doctor's appointment. I should've been there."

Rory couldn't tell if the disappointment in his voice was directed towards her for not telling him before she went to the doctor, or just disappointment for missing it in general. "It's really okay. I went with Lane. It was helpful since she's done the whole baby thing before and knew what to expect. You can come next time when the baby will probably be a lot cuter and easier to make out in the ultrasound."

"I'd like that. I can't wait."

They sat in awkward silence for a few moments. They had never been awkward. There had been angry silences, for sure, and meaningful silences, but never awkward silences. Finally Rory spoke up, saved by breakfast food, a Gilmore weakness. "You mentioned room service?"

"Oh yeah, I had the waiter set it up in the dining area. Are you hungry."

"I'm actually kind of starving. I should only eat a little though. I'm supposed to eat lots of small meals to keep myself from puking it all up."

"Well it's a good thing I ordered enough food for several small meals for the rest of the week."

"In that case, lead the way!"

Rory and Logan were seated at the table in the hotel suite's living-dining combination room. It was a beautiful room with a view of the harbor and didn't have a generic hotel room feel. She was wearing his t-shirt she had slept in and a hotel robe, and Logan had already changed into his suit. The entire room service menu was laid out before her and Rory tried to not make comparisons between their current situation and the scene from Pretty Woman. She might be the knocked up other woman but at least she wasn't a prostitute. The awkward silence from before had been replaced by a slightly less awkward more familiar silence of them both reading their respective favorite sections of the paper. Logan folded his in half and laid it down on the table, capturing Rory's attention and she looked up at him expectantly.

"So, I had my morning meeting pushed back to a few hours from now, then I have a lunch thing I have to go to, but after that I'm free." Rory just nodded silently, not sure what he wanted her to say, so Logan continued, "I wanted to take you to dinner tonight, but I have a flight back to London and I don't think I should delay the inevitable any longer than I have to."

This was a white lie and Logan hoped when he confessed it to Rory in a few days she would forgive him. He had been scheduled on a 6:30 flight to London but had changed it to a short flight that was landing at JFK. He had some important business to attend to in New York and wanted to get that out of the way before he went back to Rory with a plan for their future.

Rory started to put up an argument that he didn't need to rush into anything, but realized he was right. If he was going to make this commitment to be there, he was going to have to confess to Odette sooner or later. Might as well rip off the band aid and stop the lies as soon as possible. "I agree. Odette thinks she's getting married to you in five months. It's not fair for us to go out to dinner with her in the dark." Then she shook her head and said "I can't believe I let myself become the other woman for the second time in my life." She cast her eyes down in shame, looking at her go-to room service breakfast treat of Belgium waffles with strawberry compote. She didn't deserve this waffle, this was rightfully Odette's waffle that she should be enjoying in this fabulous hotel suite with her insanely hot fiancé. Odette probably hadn't ate a carb in the last decade. Not the point, Rory chided herself, Odette had earned that waffle and Rory had arrived at that waffle by lying to almost everyone she knew for years.

"We've made some mistakes Ace, but don't call yourself the other woman."

"Why not? That's what I am?"

Logan just sighed and shook his head. He didn't want to get into this right now. Yes, he guessed by the technical definition Rory was the "other woman" but considering she was with someone else too that made him the "other man." And she was the one who came up with this entire Vegas proposition anyway. He was trying to mentally prepare himself for everything he was going to have to do in the next week and really didn't feel like rehashing everything they had done wrong since they reunited in Hamburg.

"Can we table this for now, please? I want to focus on the future and enjoy what little time we have left together this morning before I have to leave."

"I'm sorry. I know this is going to be hard for you."

"I may be in radio silence for a few days. Don't get scared if you don't hear from me."

Rory nodded her head, "Alright."

"I'll come back next weekend and we can make more definite plans."

"Do you have plans for Thanksgiving with your family?"

"Shit, I forgot all about Thanksgiving. I haven't been home for Thanksgiving dinner in years. The British are getting to me."

Rory laughed, "The Brits may have us beat on castles and big clocks, but us Yanks really know how to eat ourselves into a coma to celebrate stealing land from native peoples."

"The Huntzbergers were never big on Thanksgiving to begin with, and we haven't have a real family Thanksgiving since my grandfather died. Honor asked me to go to her house a few weeks ago, but I make a point to avoid situations when my mother is unapologetically day drinking."

"My mom still hosts a big dinner at the Dragonfly. My grandmother is coming from Nantucket this year. I guess I should spill the beans then."

"Do you want to do that together?"

"I don't know. I have no idea how she's going to react. She may have quit the DAR and her country club, but another illegitimate child may be a bridge too far for Emily Gilmore."

"Ace, there is nothing illegitimate about you or our baby."

"Not in the eyes of my grandmother. But it doesn't matter. I'll tell her, you don't have to be there. It may be better that way. My mom and I can handle her, and who knows? Maybe she'll be excited about a great-grandchild."

"If you're sure, then okay. I will need to work as much as possible anyway. I'll try to keep it quiet with my family so she doesn't find out before then." Rory just nodded her head. "I'll leave early Friday. Is it okay for me to stay with you in Hartford? Or will your grandmother be there? Should we meet somewhere else? Is going to New York okay for you? Are you okay to drive that far? Come to think of it, I didn't even ask how you were going to get home with the vomiting and whatnot. Do you need me to get you a driver?"

Rory shook her head at Logan's concern. It was endearing but not necessary. "Logan, I'm fine. I don't need a driver. But I highly doubt my grandmother is going to stay in a half-furnished house. We will eat at noon, I'll casually mention she's going to be a great-grandmother and she'll probably be on her way back to the Cape two hours later after cursing the day you were born."

"But are you sure you're okay to drive home today?"

"I drove myself here and only needed to stop once to get some fresh air. It was better than the train, that would've made me really sick. I'll be fine getting home. I'm pregnant, not incapacitated."

"Why don't you let me have a car service take you? You told me you still have that ancient Prius. That can't be safe to drive."

"A car service? Seriously Logan, it's fine. And the Prius is in excellent condition because it's been well cared for and serviced by an official dealer all these years." She gave him a triumphant look, knowing his disapproval of her using a dealer for tune-ups.

"I can't believe you still let yourself get ripped off by those guys!" Logan said with a laugh. The argument was one they had many times during their relationship in college.

"You can't argue with the results!"

"How much have you actually driven it in the past few years? It doesn't count if you never take it out of your garage."

"That's a technicality."

Logan just rolled his eyes, "Fine." Then with a softened voice he added, "I just don't want to take any risks with that little Huntzberger growing in there. I want her and her mother in one piece."

Being moved by the moment Rory placed her hand on top of Logan's, forgetting the awkwardness from earlier that morning, "What makes you so sure it's a she?"

"Not sure, just wishful thinking. The world can't go wrong with another Gilmore girl in it. Plus just think of all the new material for your book."

"Didn't you just call it a Huntzberger? Which one we going with?"

"Gilmore-Hunztberger?"

"You really want to saddle a poor innocent child with a last name like that?"

"We'll work on it." Logan gave Rory a smile and squeezed her hand. She was still apprehensive about their situation, but was happy that Logan was at the very least trying.

They spent the next two hours discussing their lives and work since they last saw each other, carefully avoiding any personal details about Odette, the baby, their families, or their future. One of the things Rory had always loved about her relationship with Logan was their ability to talk about current events and their chosen profession. They shared so much in common with just enough differences of opinion to keep life from getting boring. They talked about the election and her freelance pieces that she had submitted. Logan couldn't wait to read them, as he had always loved all of her work and followed it even when they weren't together.

Rory sat on the bed and watched him pack up, a familiar sight for both of them over the past 3 years, watching the other pack their suitcase to leave. She wondered how much longer that would be happening. They were both now a permanent fixture in each other's lives.

Logan was moving around the room slowly, even methodically folding his dirty clothes. Rory could tell he was feeling morose about his return to London and what he had to do there. She felt guilty on so many levels. Even though he was the one who was engaged, she felt terrible that their baby was the reason he had to confess to Odette. He zipped up the side of his carry-on and sat down beside her with a heavy sigh.

"I'll call a car to take you back to your hotel."

"Okay, thanks." More silence. "I'm sorry Logan."

"Sorry for what?"

"You know, about Odette."

"Don't worry yourself about this Rory. I'm the one who proposed to her when I shouldn't have."

"You told me last night that you didn't love her but did care about her. You proposed because you thought you were doing the right thing for your family. And now you're going to have to hurt her. I don't even know if I'm worth that."

Logan ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit Rory knew instinctively. He always did that when he thought about his father and his future at HPG. "I am, as the English would say, fond of her. I thought maybe I would grow to love her one day. I realize now that was exceptionally unfair to her. But this is all on me Ace. Regardless of us, I never should have asked Odette to marry me." He picked up her hand, turning towards her and squeezing it tight to his chest. "You are worth everything. You and now this baby...Rory, this is everything to me. You are my family now. Please don't worry about my parents or the company or the money, let me handle all of it. It's going to be hard, but infinitely worth it."

She knew it was just the hormones, but tears formed in Rory's eyes. Without thinking, she leaned over and kissed him. It was their first real kiss since the night they made their child. His lips were soft and cool, as they had both just brushed their teeth after breakfast, and Rory could taste his toothpaste mixed with a hint of the coffee she so desperately missed. Logan gently parted her lips with his tongue and brought his hand to the back of her neck pulling her closer. She granted him permission and opened her mouth letting his tongue roll over hers. Rory felt a surge of heat deep inside of her and was almost embarrassed at how the heightened emotions of the entire situation had made her instantly aroused. She squeezed her thighs together to try to control herself. Logan continued to explore her mouth with his, pulling himself ever closer until he was almost on top of her. As he started to slowly lower Rory back down to the bed she had the wherewithal to put a hand between their chests and pull apart.

"Logan, we can't do this. Not now, not like this."

He just ignored Rory's plea for self-restraint and leaned over to kiss his way up her neck to her earlobe. "Awww, come on Ace, I'm not going to see you for a whole week," he whispered in her ear. "We can't just let this hotel room go to waste." He nibbled his way across her jawline until his lips found hers again. He started to lower Rory back down to the bed and this time she let him. She knew she should stop him but images of Logan striding out of the bathroom in nothing but that damn towel flashed in her brain. Logan ran his hands up her sides, stopping to appreciate her now fuller breasts trapped under her thin sweater. They already felt heavier in his hands. His tongue explored every corner of her mouth with more authority than before. Rory loved it when Logan took control and he knew it.

She moaned into his mouth as he gently squeezed her breast and he took that as permission to slowly run one hand down her body until he got to the edge of her skirt. She could feel the thickness of his erection on her hip and it was exhilarating to know she had that effect on him. Logan crept his hand up, under the skirt to work his way to the waist band of her tights. Just as he was almost there Rory's brain blasted her with a dose of reality. As much as she wanted this, and _good god she wanted this,_ the cheating had to stop, and once his hands made their way under her skirt there would be no way she could say no.

"Logan...Logan..."

"Mmmhh?" He was kissing the hollow of her throat and slowly sliding his finger under the elastic at the top of her tights to roll them down.

Rory took in a sharp breath but set her resolve to bring them both back to reality. "Logan, stop. We shouldn't...we can't do this right now."

Logan took three deep breaths, trying to get himself back under control. Rory had always had a way of making him surrender all restraint. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself inside of her and hear her cry out as he made her entire body shake with pleasure. She looked so damned beautiful, all flushed cheeks, swollen lips and hooded eyes. This woman was going to be the death of him.

"You're right. I have to get to work. You need to get back to Connecticut and write."

"I just don't want to until it's right." How ridiculous it was that now she didn't want to sleep with another woman's fiancé after he had already impregnated her.

"I know, I know." They both sat up and righted their clothing. He brushed a lock of hair off Rory's forehead and leaned over to give her a chaste kiss. "Soon I'm going to make love to you without a countdown clock for when one of us has to leave hanging over our heads, and I intend to take all the time in the world." Rory took in a sharp breath and just nodded her head, imagining all the ways Logan could take his time pleasing her in bed. He stood up and walked over to a chair, picking up his suit coat, putting it on and pulling his phone out of the inside pocket. "I'll call the car and walk you to the lobby."

Rory followed him out the door of the suite without a word, Logan pulling his suitcase behind him. They silently held hands on the elevator ride down and through the walk to the rotating glass doors of the marble lobby. His driver was waiting for him with a black town car next to a cab for Rory.

Outside the sun was shining but there was still a bitter chill in the air. Rory pulled her coat tight and watched as the driver put Logan's bags in the trunk while he gave the cab driver the location of her hotel. She saw him slip the driver several bills and shook her head at him paying for her as usual. She couldn't exactly afford a 30 minute cab ride but didn't want him to know that.

He turned and she started to protest, but Logan just gathered her into his arms and said "No arguments Ace." He kissed her forehead and she allowed herself to breathe in his familiar scent. "Now remember what I said, you may not hear from me for a couple days." Rory just nodded her head, hating goodbyes. "I'll be in touch as soon as I can. I'll see you next weekend, okay?"

"Okay."

"Text me to let me know you made it back to Hartford in one piece."

"I will."

"I'm going to miss you, Ace. Take care of little Gilmore-Huntzberger while I'm gone."

"I'll miss you too. And I promise, no skydiving, wild parties, drinking binges or general debauchery. Just prenatal vitamins and early bedtimes."

Logan opened the door to the cab and Rory got in the back seat. He leaned down for one last quick kiss on the cheek. "If anything comes up, don't be afraid to call. I know I just said you might not hear from me, but if you need me you know I can be here in eight hours."

"I'll be okay Logan. _We'll_ be okay. I'll see you next weekend." They smiled at each other, he gave her one more kiss, and shut the door. Logan got into the back of his car and watched as Rory's cab drove away. He needed to focus now. He knew what he needed to get done and he just had to concentrate on that so he could get back to her. 

* * *

Rory put her car into park and pulled out her phone to text Logan that she had made it Stars Hollow. She wanted to quickly pack some more clothes to take back to Hartford then swing by Lane's to give her the play by play of her trip to Boston, but as luck would have it her mother's car was in the driveway.

Lorelai could have walked to work but Rory sincerely doubted it with the cold weather. Rory knew she should talk to her mother, but she didn't know if she was ready for that. Plus Lorelai would want her to stay at her and Luke's house instead of going back to Hartford, and Rory had decided on the drive back that she very much did not want to do that. She had a feeling her privacy would soon be gone forever, and sooner rather than later if Logan had anything to do about it, so she wanted to enjoy the solitude of her grandmother's house for as long as possible.

With a sigh she got out of her car and went inside the house. Just bite the bullet and get this over with, she tells herself. Rory had learned many years ago to not let her mother's opinions sway her, even though they could get her riled up in the heat of the moment, but it was better for all involved to let Lorelai say what she wanted to say then move on. Rory knew she meant well, but Lorelai could be very irrational when it came to Logan. She was justified in some of her objections, but Rory was an adult and had to make her own choices.

Rory called out for her mom and she yelled back from her bedroom upstairs. She wondered what her mother was doing home at 2:00 pm on a Friday afternoon.

"Mom, what's going on?" she said with concern upon seeing her mother in bed wearing multi-colored polka dot pajamas and watching yet another Lifetime movie.

"Ugh, Whory, don't come too clwose. The phlegm cweature from those crweepy commercials is stuck in my chest and sinus cahvities. I don't want to get you sick." Lorelai sounded like she was speaking through the old school intercom at Stars Hollow Elementary. Then she proceeded to go into a three minute coughing fit to prove her point. Rory handed her a fresh box of tissues from the bathroom and sat on the edge of the opposite side of the bed, trying to avoid germs. Lorelai went through at least 5 tissues to blow her nose then took what sounded like her first deep breath in hours. "Ahhh, thanks kid." Her voice still sounded like it had been raked through gravel but at least she was comprehensible.

"I wish I had known you were sick mom. I would've stopped at Doose's and picked up some soup or at least some medicine."

"It's okay, Luke had Ceasar drop some off a few hours ago. A day in bed with the Lifetime Movie Network should cure me faster than anything Western medicine could offer."

"Excellent point."

"So...back from Boston."

"Yes, back from Boston."

"Going to elaborate on your trip or do I have to act it out in my head with the role of Rory Gilmore played by Kellie Martin and her seemingly ageless mother played by former Charlie's Angel Kate Jackson?"

"Ouch, Annabeth Gish and brunette Tori Spelling would totally play you and me." Lorelai just gave her a look that said quit stalling. "Yes, the trip. My grand plan. It was...eventful."

"Am I going to have to pull this out of you with a meat fork?"

"Well, to be honest, it didn't go very well at first. Stephanie, my friend from Yale I told you about, arranged to have Logan meet us at Colin's apartment. We should've warned him that I was going to be there or at least to expect _something_ because he was totally blindsided when he walked in and saw me. When I told him he totally freaked out and literally ran out of the apartment."

"I just cannot believe this guy!" Lorelai was worried something like that would happen. She wanted to see the best in Logan like her daughter but never had high hopes.

"Mom, it was okay. He panicked. I panicked too when I first found out."

"Yeah, but you're the one who is actually carrying this baby. You can't run away from it like him. Maybe you should just let him bail this time."

"He doesn't want to bail, mom. I honestly wasn't even mad at him. Yeah it hurt a little and it sucked, but he had no idea what he was walking into. We had said our goodbyes and were both trying to move on, then he shows up at his friend's apartment and I'm there and drop this bombshell on him. He panicked and ran out. _Then he came back._ "

"Rory, I want to be supportive. I do trust your judgement. But Logan likes to run. What is he going to do whenever there's a screaming baby at 2:00 in the morning and you already haven't slept more than three hours straight in a week and all you want to do close the bedroom door and put on those noise cancelling headphones he probably wears when he's flying in first class all over the globe?"

"Mom-" Rory tried to interject but Lorelai kept going.

"Or when he needs to be at parent-teacher conferences or dance recitals or science fairs and his big scary father is demanding that he be at some meeting with cantankerous old businessmen wearing suspenders and comb-overs to conspire their next media takeover? Which is he going to chose?"

"Mom, if you would just stop and listen and let me finish without the commentary?" Lorelai just threw up her hands slightly to indicate for Rory to continue. "As I just said, he came back. I was upset, but not angry with him. He just needed to gather his thoughts. We went back to his hotel and talked a little."

"Oh Rory, you didn't sleep with him, did you?"

"What? No! I didn't sleep with him. But even if I did I'm pretty sure the damage has already been done."

"I just want you to keep a level head. Sleeping with him will make an already emotional situation even worse. It's like every time you're with this guy you lose all ability to think rationally about your future."

Rory got up from the bed and started walking towards the bedroom door. "I can't talk to you right now. I thought you of all people would understand what I'm going through."

Lorelai put her fingers up to her temples and rubbed them in small circles. She desperately did not want to turn into her own mother in this situation. It was just that Logan Huntzberger had a track record of breaking her daughter's heart and she wasn't interested in giving him the benefit of the doubt. "Rory, I'm sorry. Can we please start over? I'm _sorry_." Rory paused at the door but didn't make a move to return to the conversation, waiting for her mother to continue. "It's just that last time we talked you said you thought he would want you guys to get back together. You were conflicted about if you even wanted to be with him. I'm just a little confused here. You know I just want the best for you."

Rory still stood by the door but turned to speak to her mother. "We didn't talk about any specifics. Last night we went back to his hotel but we both decided we were too emotionally exhausted to discuss anything. Before I left this morning he told me he is going back to London to break the engagement and tell his family. He's coming back again next weekend to make more definite plans."

"And this is what you want?"

"I want...I want things to not be so hard and complicated."

"I hate to break it to you kid, but you and Logan chose hard and complicated when you started sneaking around."

Rory looked up at her mother and her eyes filled with tears but she willed them not to fall. She walked over to the bed and sat down next to Lorelai, forgetting about germs. She propped herself up with the pillows and lay her head on her mother's shoulder. "I know, we made such a huge mess. I wanted to be strong and pretend that I could do this on my own like you did, but I didn't realize how much I want him to be involved until the moment I actually told him."

Lorelai leaned her head over to rest on Rory's, "I know hun, I know exactly how you feel. I wanted your dad to be there so much it hurt sometimes. I never let it show because I didn't want to upset you, but it was hard not having someone there for the hard times but especially the good times. The first steps, first words, first day of school...all of it was incredible but having a partner to share it with would've been great too."

"But he wants to be involved. He wants to turn his entire world upside down for me and the baby. I just have to decide if I can trust him. You're not wrong. He has ran away when things weren't going perfectly his way."

"What does your gut say?"

"That he loves me. That he will love this baby. That he believes himself when he says he will be there no matter what."

"But you don't know if you believe him?"

"I believe that the hard parts of parenting won't scare him away. Logan's not like that. His work though...he was going to go through with a marriage to someone he doesn't love to appease his father. And he's supposed to take over for him someday. It's a giant international company that owns hundreds of newspapers that employ thousands of people. It's a big responsibility that naturally requires a lot of work. His dad is never NOT working. And what if he expects this baby to do the same thing as him? "

Lorelai kept quiet. She didn't have much positive to say about that particular situation so she chose to not say anything at all after their earlier outburst. The one thing Logan had proven to her many years ago was he wasn't afraid of hard work. It's funny how that was the issue she was worried about the most back then. She had thought he would coast along living off his trust fund, dragging Rory down with him, for the next 30 to 40 years. Then he moved to California and was very successful at his tech start up, as her parents had invariably reminded her after Rory had started working on the Obama campaign trail. Then he returned triumphantly to his family's business years later. Logan definitely wasn't allergic to hard work. Now it looked like that trait was going to make Rory a single mother even if they're together.

Rory continued at her mother's silence, "I guess I need to see what he says next weekend. We talked but didn't make any definite plans because he wanted to break up with Odette first."

"You need to be assertive and tell him your concerns Rory. You need to make sure he actually knows that you're concerned about these things and what you want is taken into consideration too."

"I will."

"It's like my therapist said, you have to make room for both of your needs if you want to have a functional relationship, but that can only happen if you know what those needs are."

"Yeah, I know you're right."

Lorelai let out a big sneeze again and Rory jumped up, remembering her mother was probably as contagious as the monkey in _Outbreak_. She didn't know anything about how bad it was for a pregnant woman to get a cold but assumed it wasn't good. She handed her mother more tissues and walked over to the other side of the bed to pick up her purse. "I'm going to let you get some more rest and finish your movie marathon. I'll just run downstairs and get the things I need."

"What are you talking about? You're not staying? You're going back to Hartford?"

"Yes, I just stopped in to get some more clothes."

"But why? I thought you said you needed to clear your head for a few days until you told Logan. Now you've told him. I thought you'd come back to Stars Hollow."

"I'm going to be back almost every day. I'm going to work at the _Gazette_ four mornings a week. I just get so much more writing done in Grandpa's study. And I like the solitude. I'm not going to have it much longer so I want to enjoy it while I can."

"Oh you got that right kid. Once that baby comes out there will be no more alone time for about ten or twelve years. Little kids don't exactly care about your 'me time.'"

Rory smiled, relived her mother wasn't going to fight her on this too. "We can have lunch everyday after I'm done at the _Gazette_?"

"It's a date. We can switch off at Luke's, Al's, the Dragonfly or Weston's."

Rory agreed and was heading out the door as her mother stopped her, "Wait! If Logan's telling his family this week, how do you plan on keeping this from Emily? She may be in Nantucket but she will definitely be hearing about something this big involving her granddaughter."

Rory gave her mother her best Bambi eyes. "I was actually hoping you'd help me break the news at Thanksgiving. Create a diversion if she goes into full-on Mommy Dearest mode."

"You owe me."

"I'll make it up to you."

"I wanted to just sit back and watch with some popcorn and red vines."

"I'll dedicate an entire issue of the _Stars Hollow Gazette_ to the amazing-ness that is Lorelai Gilmore."

"Oh it's going to take more than that, you soooooooo owe me."

"I'll do your laundry for a year."

"Luke already does all our laundry."

"I'll let you grill Logan one-on-one for as long as you like, no prior vetting of questions."

"Deal."

Rory suspected she was going to regret this, but Logan having to put up with some prying questions from her mother was a sacrifice she was willing to make in exchange for her protection when telling her grandmother about the baby. He was a big boy and would need to face the wrath Lorelai Gilmore eventually anyway. "Okay, well, thank you. I'll just run down to my old room to find some more clothes and I'll be out of your hair. Lunch Monday at Luke's?"

"It's a date."

Twenty minutes later Rory was putting one of her boxes in the back of her car and thinking to herself that didn't go as badly as she had feared. She wanted to talk to Logan about the encounter with her mother, but didn't want to burden him with her worries when he had so much on his plate already. She could tell earlier that morning that he was dreading ending his engagement with Odette, the guilt weighing heavily on his mind. Thankfully Lane not only didn't mind Rory's venting about the situation, she practically encouraged it. Rory pointed her car in the direction of Lane's house for a debriefing and some girl talk.


	13. Chapter 13

The house was silent. Odette had texted him when his plane landed to inform him that she was going to dinner with friends and would be home late. There was no heart emoji, no "I've missed you," not even a "see you when I get home." She was mad.

Logan had called the night before and told her one final lie, the paper in Boston was going to take more work than he had previously planned and he wouldn't make it home in time for the showings with the realtor. He could tell from her tone that she was not happy with him but was trying to hide her disappointment and play the role of the good corporate wife. If only that was his biggest problem. He could make up for cancelling on her pretty easily with flowers and a bump in the new house budget. This situation though, there was no way he could ever redeem himself for what he was about to do. Odette was going to hate him forever. With good reason of course, but Logan still couldn't stand the idea of someone hating him. Maybe it was his so-called charming personality. He wanted to make the people in his life happy and comfortable around him. Once word got out about the affair and broken engagement, it wouldn't be just Odette who hated him and probably Rory too. The gossip in their social circles was going to be intense. His co-workers would know intimate details of his personal life. The sweet old receptionist at his office would probably not find his harmless flirting that charming anymore. There's nothing he can do about it now, he reminds himself. The best he can do is sincerely apologize and let Odette do or say whatever she wanted.

Logan quickly made his way upstairs and unpacked his suitcase, throwing his laundry and dry cleaning in their respective hampers for the housekeeper, then he repacked. This was definitely a getting kicked out of the house situation, not that he didn't want to give Odette her space anyway. He assumed he was going to be living in a hotel for at least a couple weeks. Luckily his car in their underground garage had a full tank so he could make a quick getaway without waiting for a cab or car service to pick him up. He discretely placed his suitcase back downstairs in a closet by the door to the garage. Then he had to wait.

There was a nervous energy filling his entire body. It was like he didn't know if wanted to vomit, take a nap or run a marathon all at once. His adrenaline had been powering him through the past 48 hours and now he could feel himself crashing. While he paced the floor Logan reflected on his relationship with Odette. _He_ had pursued _her_ which added even another layer to his self-disgust. It was at some benefit, of course, that his mother had asked him to attend and he couldn't find a good excuse to get out of it so he was stuck. She was the most beautiful woman in the room and he was instantly intrigued. Logan wasn't interested in anything more than a casual fling - she lived in Paris, he lived in London - but Odette, just like Rory, was not a casual dating girl. And human nature is a fickle bitch, so of course as soon as he realized he couldn't have her Logan wanted her and wanted her badly. He'll never know how she didn't see right through him.

Logan started spending weekends in Paris escorting Odette to the finest restaurants in the world, standing around pricey designer boutiques waiting for her to be finished with her shopping, accompanying her to yet even more benefits, galas, and ballets to raise money for the Vauthier foundation, and of course spending every night in her bed. It wasn't like with his Ace, it wasn't making love, but the sex was still pretty incredible. Within two months they were dating exclusively. Word got out to his parents. He could've sworn he saw actual money signs flash in his mother's eyes. Mitchum was more subtle of course. A comment here, an aside there about her family's wealth. She was the sole heir to over a billion dollars. It was starting to get a little weird for a man of his age to still be single they'd say, but he ignored it all. They had only been seeing each other a couple months and Logan knew what the real thing felt like, and this wasn't it. Then the real thing punched him in the gut on a crowded city street in Hamburg on a warm evening in July.

He would've ended it with Odette right then and there if Rory had let him. Over the phone even. In a text, an email, singing telegram, carrier pigeon, he didn't give a shit. His Ace was back and it was like the past eight years had never happened. Nothing else mattered except them getting back together. But of course that was impossible. He's still not sure why it was impossible, but Rory indicated she didn't want to do long distance again. She lived out of a suitcase by her own choice. She still had ambitions and dreams she needed to chase, and Logan Huntzberger didn't fit into those plans now any more than he did on her graduation day. He had overshared about his relationship with Odette, only because he was trying to imply that ending it was inevitable but he sees now that only drove her farther away. A few months later he accidentally read a text from "Paul" when he tapped her phone to check the time. Oh, he had known all about Paul. It took every ounce of self-control he possessed to refrain from asking Robert, who's family wasn't exactly known for being constrained by silly things like privacy laws, from running a background check. But she had made her choice. Rory didn't want to be Logan-and-Rory again. She wanted to be this new, casual-sex-in-Vegas-Rory. So he did the only thing he could think to do, which was not only to continue to date Odette, but then ask her to marry him after his father told him HPG needed her money. He will never forgive himself for this.

The bottle of scotch at the minibar looked very tempting but Logan wanted to maintain a clear head. He heard the front door open and all of a sudden it hit him that he hadn't exactly prepared what he was going to actually say to Odette. He had spent so much time and energy thinking about what he was going to do _after_ he ended their relationship that he didn't think at all about the words he would say to her when he did the actual relationship ending. No time to worry about that now, he thought to himself. Maybe it was better that he didn't have time to obsess over one more thing and just wing it.

Odette ascended the stairs and plopped down her purse and Barney's shopping bag on the table in the landing. She looked beautiful, as she always did, completely put together in a fitted sweater dress and Burberry boots. She gave him a big smile and ran over to hug him, "Logan, you're home! I'm sorry I was being grumpy earlier. I spoke with the agent and she said we can reschedule all the showings for tomorrow."

Logan hugged her once last time and gently removed himself from her arms. "Can we sit down? I need to talk to you about something."

"Was everything okay with your trip? Were there problems with your work?" Odette was concerned but not worried. Maybe it was her optimistic nature, but she was never one to suspect the worst even if someone started a conversation with the ominous "we need to talk."

"Let's just sit." He put his hand on her upper arm and guided her down to the sofa. He took a deep breath, thought here goes nothing, and laid it all out much like Rory had done to him at Colin's apartment Thursday night. "I have to tell you something that is really going to hurt you. I don't expect you to ever forgive me, but I want you to know that I am so very, very, truly sorry from the bottom of my heart." Deep breath, man up and do it he told himself _._ "I can't marry you. I'm in love with someone else and we're going to have a baby." He heard Odette take in a small gasp of air and all the color drained from her face. Logan closed his eyes for a second but continued, "You can have the house or if you want to go back to Paris you can stay here for as long as you need."

Odette's face was completely unreadable. She was normally so animated, even a complete stranger would be able to tell her every thought, but she was sitting stone-still as her entire future came crashing down around her like a brick wall in an earthquake. After what felt like an eternity but was actually only a few seconds she reached back and slapped Logan with all of her strength across the face. I've definitely earned that, he thought to himself, and he was glad her engagement ring was on her non-dominant hand. But Odette's fury was instantly replaced with despair and she burst into tears. "Oh Logan, how could you?" He had no response. What could he even say to make this situation better? "How long has this been going on? You got another woman pregnant! Five months before our wedding! What kind of man does that? Does our relationship mean nothing to you?"

Logan didn't know what to say. His adrenaline was flowing and his heartbeat was echoing in his ear. At this point she was sobbing but still looked up at him expectantly with indignation in her eyes, waiting for him to come up with a reply. He decided he should probably go with full disclosure. "We've been seeing each other for almost three years."

Odette let out another sob mixed with a shriek. "You've been with her the entire time? Oh my god, who are you? What else have you lied about?"

"O, I don't know what else to say. There's nothing I can say to make this easier. I fucked up, I'm so so sorry."

"Has she been here?"

Logan wanted to protect Rory as much as possible, but he wanted to stop lying to Odette once and for all. She deserved answers to anything she wanted to know. "Yes."

"In our bed?"

He dropped his head, "Yes."

"Oh my god, I think I'm going to be sick." Odette got up and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Logan didn't know what the proper procedure was for situations like this. Do you comfort the woman who is vomiting because you just told her you have slept with another woman in your shared bed or give her space? He figured she probably didn't want him holding back her hair and rubbing her back right now, so he slumped back into the sofa. After a few minutes Odette came back out, her makeup scrubbed from her face and her eyes and nose were red. In a span of three days he had made two of the only three women in this world he cared about cry because of his careless actions. This was not a great start to fatherhood.

"Why are you with me? You said you love her. Why did you even propose?" She had taken off her boots and was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking very small and fragile. Odette had always been the opposite of those adjectives. She was a larger than life human being, always booming with confidence and laughter. Logan walked over to her and sat down on the chair in the corner of the bedroom, keeping a safe distance.

"I wish I had an answer for that. I guess I thought it was the right thing to do. I never thought it would go this far. And then we had said a final goodbye. I vowed to myself to be a good husband and be faithful to you. But now she's pregnant. I can't turn my back on my child."

"Oh, what a comfort that is to me," she said sarcastically. "You just found out when you were in the U.S.? Is that where she lives?"

"Yes."

"And you love her? Is this the same woman you proposed to when you were at Yale?"

"Yes. Who told you?"

"Oh Logan, your mother told me all about it. I know how she can be and didn't pay her any mind, but I guess that makes me the fool. The girl rejected you then and she didn't care about being your mistress now. How can you even be sure the child is yours?"

"She wouldn't lie. I trust her." Logan was ashamed to admit the thought that the baby might not be his did flash across his mind. He knew that Rory was still seeing Paul. But she would never lie to him about something so important. That didn't stop him from looking up a due date calendar online Friday night and confirming the conception date lined up with the expected delivery date on her ultrasound picture. He chided himself for ever doubting her and was glad Rory would never have to know.

"But of course, you _trust her._ Trust being so important in a relationship." Odette started to silently cry again. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. She loved Logan with all her heart. She had been raised without any material wants but also a lot of love in what she had thought was an idyllic childhood. Her parents doted on her, and even though they were busy people who traveled frequently leaving her with nannies and at boarding schools, she never felt lonely or abandoned. The time they spent together was always happy, or so she had thought. Odette had wanted to raise her own family with the same love and joy but with a happy ending this time. What was it about her and her mother that fell for men who so easily lied to them? What kind of person could live a double life and then decide to leave his wife or fiance for his mistress? When her father left her mother Odette had thought she knew what it felt like to be tossed aside, but it turns out she hadn't had a clue. There was an actual physical pain in her heart.

"O, I don't know what else I can do or say. You'll never know how very sorry I am that I did this to you. It's unforgivable and I'm not going to insult you by asking for your forgiveness... I'll just leave you alone."

She started crying harder and Logan got up to leave, but as he passed by her on the bed Odette reached out for his hand. "No Logan, please stay. I don't want to be alone right now." He sat down next to her and continued to hold her hand. "I know this sounds incomprehensible, but you're actually my best friend in London. Those women aren't my friends. They're just wanna-be aristocrats who'll call up the gossip columns first chance they get."

"I'll do whatever you want."

"How did I become so pathetic?" She asked, crying out again.

"You are not pathetic. You are smart and beautiful and I was never good enough for you in the first place." That was the most honest thing he had ever told her.

"Spare me Logan. If you really thought all those things you wouldn't have slept with another woman for three years. How many others were there, huh?"

"None."

"How can I ever believe anything you say? Our entire relationship has been a lie. Every single time you went out of town or I when I was in Paris and you were here, I'm going to have to wonder if you were with her. All those trips to New York? Did you really need to go or did you just want to see her? Every time you said you wanted to see your family you were probably with her. That's pretty low Logan, saying you wanted to visit your sister's children as an excuse to fuck your girlfriend on the side." Logan just remained silent. He wanted to defend himself and Rory, but knew nothing good would come from it. Odette had every right to say whatever she wanted to say to him. He was the bad guy.

She spent the rest of the night alternating between crying and cursing him until they both finally passed out from mental and physical exhaustion. The next morning Logan was awakened by the sound of high heels walking on the hardwood floor. He was disoriented and felt hungover even though he hadn't had a drop to drink. Odette was dressed in all black like she was going to a funeral, complete with a big floppy hat and black sunglasses even though it was a dreary London winter morning. She had always had a flair for the dramatic, and now that she had been on the receiving end of the ultimate wrong Logan had no doubt she would play up the theatrics to an preposterous level. He also noted she was holding a rosary in her hand with her black Chanel handbag. "Did you go to mass?" She had once told him after her father's revelation about his affair and her parents' subsequent divorce she had gone to church almost every day for months. It was the only thing that helped her get through the emotional pain she had said.

"Oui." Oh yes, he thought to himself, once Odette started speaking in French she was definitely past despair and onto anger.

Logan sat up on the couch to make room for Odette to sit down next to him. She took off her engagement ring and sat it down on the coffee table. "No, Odette, you keep that. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in these situations anyway?"

"Logan, trust me, I don't want it."

"Then give it to the foundation. Consider it a donation." The proceeds from a ring of that size would pay for quite a few dance lessons and music teachers.

"Fine. I'm going to go back to Paris. I'll arrange to have all my belongings shipped tomorrow."

"Whatever you want. Take all the time that you need, there's no need to rush. I'm going to check into a hotel for the time being."

"Fine. I really want to get back to Paris as soon as I can but it took so much work to get everything with the Vauthier foundation moved to London. I don't know how quickly I can move it back."

"I'm sorry. I know it's going to be hard."

"Yes, well you should've thought about that before."

Logan just nodded his head. He had been so selfish and concerned about how he was going to deal with his work life that he hadn't even thought about Odette's. And now he was going to have to ask her something that he had no right to ask. "Have you spoken to your family yet?"

"To tell them about my humiliation and cancelled wedding? No. No Logan, I haven't told them you have been sneaking around behind my back for three years and have a love child on the way."

He cringed but was slightly relieved Odette had moved on to the righteous indignation phase of the breakup. Anger was something he could work with. She was pissed but it wasn't an emotional landmine. Still, he should've asked her his next question last night when she didn't look like she was ready to cut his balls off with the smallest provocation. "I know I have no right to ask you this, but can you give me 48 hours? I don't deserve it, but please let me tell my family myself and not through the gossip pages."

Odette looked at Logan's face. The dark circles and pale skin made him look much older than his 35 years. Despite everything she still loved him. She wanted nothing more than to hate him, but she understood now what it meant to love and hate someone in equal measure. As pitiful as it sounded, she would do anything to rationalize his behavior and go through with the wedding. If only she could be a woman who was able to look the other way. Life would be easier then. But there was an innocent baby involved. Even if she could forgive Logan and he wanted to stay with her, Odette couldn't live with herself knowing there was a child out there deprived of it's father. "Alright, I'll wait. But I'll go to a hotel. I can't be in this house. I'll send you the details of when the movers will be here. Take all the time you need to tell your family. I'm not really looking forward to telling my mother to be honest. It's going to break her heart more than mine."

"Okay. I'm so sorry O. I know at this point those words don't mean much to you, but please believe me about that one thing."

"I don't even know what I believe anymore."

And with that, their relationship was over. Odette quickly got out her designer luggage and haphazardly packed up her clothes and as many of her shoes as she could. She called her car service to come pick her up and Logan helped her take her suitcases down to the front door. It was without a doubt the most awkward moment of his life. When the car finally came the driver loaded up her bags in the trunk and Odette turned to Logan, gave him one final kiss on the cheek, put on her $2000 sunglasses, straightened her shoulders, held her head high, got into the back of a black town car and just like that Logan Huntzberger became a part of her past.

* * *

The sound of his office door closing startled Logan out of his work-induced trance. After Odette left on Sunday morning all Logan had wanted to do was spend the rest of the day sitting on the couch recovering from his emotionally intense weekend that had started Thursday night when he found Rory standing in Colin's apartment, but he had no time to relax or feel sorry for himself. He had to get down to business if he wanted to execute his plan and that didn't leave any time for self-reflection. He had spent the past two days holed up in his office only taking breaks to order take out, sleep a few hours and text Rory that everything was fine with him and they were still on for Friday. He needed to move on to step two of his plan and while he normally wouldn't consider it lucky that his father had plans to visit some of their properties in the European market that week, it was definitely convenient Mitchum was going to be in London on Tuesday.

"Well I have to say this is a first. Your secretary contacted my people to set up a meeting, not the other way around, and you're at the office before 7:00 am."

Logan didn't take the bait and let his father's taunts slide. He knew for himself how hard he worked and his father knew it too based on how successful Logan had been since returning to HPG. Mitchum had nothing to complain about so he liked to find ways to rile up his son, but Logan had more important things to deal with that the moment.

"I called off the wedding." Mitchum hated beating around the bush and respected those who were as direct as possible, so Logan got straight to the point.

Mitchum was silent for a moment and let out a sigh, "This is about Rory Gilmore, isn't it? I know you still have feelings for her but you need to think logically Logan."

"How did you know?" Logan wasn't used to his father being privy to the details of his personal life and he was getting a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had assumed when Mitchum had ran into him and Rory at lunch that he had put two and two together and surmised they were "just" sleeping together. He had hoped that was the extent of Mitchum's knowledge.

"Are you kidding? Anyone with eyes could see what was going on with you two. I frankly can't believe you had the nerve to go out in public with her. It's a miracle Odette didn't catch you months ago considering how careless you were. And to let her stay at your house? Logan, when you have an affair have the common sense to do it at hotels."

"I'm sorry dad, but I'm just not as skilled at infidelity as you I guess."

"You need to be very careful about what you say next son. This isn't about me or my relationship with your mother," Mitchum said with a warning tone in his voice. Logan shuddered to think about anything involving his father's or his parents' sex lives.

"How did you know she stayed at my house? Did you have someone spying on me?" Logan wouldn't put anything past his father at this point in his life.

"Logan please," Mitchum said with exasperation. "The day after your little lunch date I dropped off some documents for you to sign and your secretary told me you had ran home for lunch so I thought I'd stop by. I saw the two of you leaving, hand in hand, then you practically make out on the sidewalk like a couple of teenagers."

Logan didn't want to get into it with his father right now. His relationship with Rory was none of Mitchum's business. "Dad, I'm not going to marry Odette. It's already done. I asked you to meet with me for two reasons: I didn't want you to hear about it from someone else, and I'm moving back to the east coast."

"Listen Logan, you know I have nothing against Rory. I think she's a nice girl, and believe it or not, I want you to be happy. But you need to think about more than just yourself here. I have been CEO of this company for almost 40 years. You think I don't understand what will happen if you don't marry Odette Vauthier?"

"I respect your experience but dad, I think you're being more than a little bit unrealistic. You know we've been operating beyond our means for too long. Newspapers don't make money like they used to. That's just a fact that we have to face. And I know you've been open to some of my strategies to modernize but we have to change drastically if we're going to remain profitable. We were going to have to sell some properties eventually. In fact, you were the one who taught me to never throw good money after bad. It would be nothing but a waste to use Odette's inheritance to prop up publications that are going to fail eventually anyway."

Mitchum opened his mouth to start to speak but Logan cut him off, "And Rory is pregnant."

The bombshell stunned Mitchum into silence. He dropped his head and rubbed his temples. The truth was Mitchum loved his grandchildren and would be more than happy to have another one, especially one with the Huntzberger last name. He was looking forward to his retirement to spend more time with said grandchildren and without the security of the Vauthier money for HPG's future, he had a feeling that retirement day was being pushed farther and farther back. "Okay," he said with a deep sigh, "and you want to move back?"

"I have a plan. There's really no reason for me to operate out of London. I just picked it when I started because I liked it here. I have a plan on how to move my team. There's several people who I think would be more than willing to transfer, the ones who don't want to will be given generous severance packages and the support staff can be moved to different departments in the building that could really use the help."

"And this is what Rory wants?"

"What does that mean? We're going to have a baby together. We can't live on different sides of the Atlantic."

"So the two of you are together? Are you going to marry her? Because I seem to recall you asked her once before and she wasn't interested in being a Huntzberger."

"You're a real son of a bitch, you know that pops?"

"Logan I'm not trying to hurt you - quite the opposite in fact. You lose perspective when Rory Gilmore is involved. I don't want you to uproot your entire life, plus the lives of all your employees, just to chase after someone who's not interested in being chased."

His father's words stung because Logan knew he had a point. Him and Rory hadn't been upfront with each other for a long, long time. "Don't worry about my relationship with Rory," he said defensively. "We're having a baby and I plan on actually being a father to my child."

"I don't want to get into a fight with you Logan. I was a shitty father and I'm sorry. I did the best that I knew how. I was following my father's example and times were different back then. If I could go back in time and do things differently with you and your sister I would but I can't. I'm not going to fight you on this. If you want to move back and take your entire department with you, do it. Just be careful. And I want you to think about your responsibilities to this child. If you want HPG to be around for the next generation you're going to have some serious work to do. In case you haven't noticed, journalism is being attacked all over this world and we have a obligation to our employees and our readers to keep this company stable."

"I couldn't agree more. That's why I have a plan. I met with Bob Thorpe on Friday and we mapped out a long term plan for HPG's financial stability."

"You met with my CFO behind my back?" Mitchum asked, the tenor of his voice raising with every syllable.

"Dad, will you please try to stay calm and listen to me? It wasn't behind your back. I just asked him a few questions to assess the financial ramifications." The truth was Logan had met with Bob for hours formulating a blueprint of how to make HPG's long term future as secure as possible without the backing of the Vauthiers. "If you would hear me out you would see this isn't the end of the world. We're going to have to tighten our belts in some areas, get rid of dead weight, put an end to some wasteful spending...but in the long run everything is going to be fine. I'm confident I can do it. If you want me to lead this company, I'm going to have to understand the big picture financials anyway."

"I'm going to have to talk to Bob about all of this."

"That's a great idea dad. See what he has to say, and I think after you look at all the numbers you'll find that this is a smart move." Aside from the outbursts, this was going better than Logan had hoped. His dad hadn't totally flipped out, so at least that was a good sign.

"I'm heading back tomorrow morning and we can talk about this more after I meet with Bob. Will I be seeing you at your sister's on Thursday? I am not telling your mother for you."

"No, I have too much to do here. I saw Honor and the kids last weekend so she excused my absence. And I know I need to tell mom. Rory is staying in Hartford though, in Richard and Emily's house. Do you think you can keep her from making a scene on the Gilmore's front lawn?"

"Your mother is at a spa or some new age spiritual retreat or some other kind of ridiculous bullshit in Palm Springs. I'll make sure she behaves herself though."

"Okay, well, thank you." Logan always felt awkward when his parents spoke about each other. He hoped and prayed that him and Rory never talked about each other like they were enemies. "We'll talk more about the transfer later?"

"Yes, and congratulations and good luck son. I think you're going to need it." Mitchum stood to leave and Logan repressed the deep desire to roll his eyes, and he just thanked his father instead. He didn't have time to deal with Mitchum's passive aggressiveness. He needed to get back to work and focus on seeing Rory in three days. There were two large projects he needed to complete before he could move, and he had to tackle how he was going to tell his entire team about the move. A move like this would normally take a minimum of a year and he wanted to cut that time frame in half at the very least. Hopefully he could get two or three key people to move with him early and the others could join them later. Logan had no doubt in his mind that all this effort was worth the sacrifice, but he desperately hoped Rory would see that too.

* * *

 **A/N: Farewell Odette, we barely knew thee. I've mentioned before that I'm not a fan of "song fics" but I've listened to Gaga's Million Reasons over and over and over again to get in the mood to write this chapter. I think it's really fitting of Odette because she loves Logan so much and the life she had planned for them.** **I wanted Logan to have to deal with the pain he had caused her, but also for her to walk out with her head held high.**

 **Also, I kinda love Mitchum. He's a great foil to Logan and Rory because even though he's an asshole, he's usually not wrong. He has a way of finding a person's weakness and exposing it and making them squirm. The older I get the more I side with him (and Emily) on most things in the original show. But I also love how Logan has learned how to "handle" his father and not take the bait. Nothing shows maturity more than the realization that your parents' approval doesn't matter.**

 **The next chapter isn't ready yet and probably won't be for a few weeks. Thank you all for your patience and great reviews. I really appreciate them.**


	14. Chapter 14

The sun had just gone down and dusk was settling in by the time Logan rang the doorbell at the Gilmore home on Friday. It had been a long week followed by a long day of travel. He had powered through everything fueled on adrenaline and the desire to get back to Rory, but now that he was standing outside her door he could feel himself crashing. He had tried and failed to catch some sleep on the plane.

Between all the work he needed to do to make this transfer successful, the dramatic break up with Odette, and the state of his relationship with Rory, Logan's brain just couldn't shut off long enough to get some rest. Anxiety was also settling in. They had texted a couple times a day, just checking in and making sure their plan to meet today was still on, but there had been no talk of each other's state of mind. Logan had a moment of panic - what if Rory had changed her mind about him? It wouldn't be the first time he offered her a serious commitment and she chose to walk away instead. But he didn't have long to contemplate that fate, as the door flew open and there she stood with a look of concern on her face once she took in his appearance.

Logan dropped his bags to the ground and lunged forward to take her into his arms, but the embrace quickly became less hug and more of Logan holding onto Rory for dear life. "Logan, are you okay?" Rory tried to speak but her words were muffled by his shoulder pressed onto her face. After a few seconds she was able to pry his arms open just a few inches to get some breathing room and look up at him. She saw the dark circles and bags under his eyes and was sure she had not seen Logan look this awful since his accident in Costa Rica.

"Logan are you okay?" Rory repeated herself.

"Of course I am, just tired. It's been a long week." He reached down to pick up his large duffle but Rory waved him off and picked up both it and his smaller shoulder bag with one hand. "Ace, what are you doing?"

"Nu-uh, you are going upstairs and taking a nap," she said with her back turned to him as she walked into the foyer.

"I've waited all week to see you and we have a lot to talk about. I'm fine Ace, I promise."

Rory just kept walking towards the stairs. "Logan you're exhausted. We've waited ten years to discuss our relationship, I think you can handle a few more hours."

"But I gotta fight the jet lag by staying awake."

She turned to face him and put her hands on her hips, "Upstairs. Bed. Now."

"Good lord, pregnancy sure has made you bossy."

"It's called maternal instinct mister. Now come on." Rory took Logan's hand and silently led him up the grand staircase of the Gilmore home to her bedroom. Logan stripped down to his boxers and undershirt while Rory went into the adjoining bathroom to get him a glass of water. When she got back he was already in bed under the duvet, just barely keeping his eyes open.

"Are you going to join me Ace?"

Rory smiled, "Of course," and she kicked off her shoes and jeans, and climbed into the bed next to him in just her t-shirt. "Nowhere else I'd rather be."

Logan had never been one to fall asleep quickly. It always took his mind at least ten minutes to wind down and let sleep take over, but the exception was when Rory was lying beside him. He had never told her before, but falling asleep next to Rory Gilmore had always provided the most restful sleep in his relatively short life. He gave her a gentle kiss on the lips, then her forehead, she laid her head on his chest to listen to the beat of his heart and Logan immediately fell into a deep peaceful slumber.

A few hours later Logan was awakened by the sound of keyboard keys tapping beside him. Rory was sitting up in bed, a desk pillow on her lap, furiously typing away. When he stirred she looked over at him, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"How long have I been out?"

"A while, it's after 7:00. I could only sleep for about thirty minutes. I outlined my next chapter this morning and couldn't wait to get the words out of my head and onto the screen, sorry."

"Don't apologize Ace, a writers gotta write. I don't want to be up all night anyway. I hate being jet lagged."

"I know you do. Are you hungry? My grandmother's maid left all these casseroles in the freezer and I just put one in the oven. I have no idea what they are, what type of food it is, or even what part of the world it's from, but they're amazing."

"I'm up for an international cuisine mystery night."

"Great. It should be done in about twenty minutes."

"I'm just going to go..." and he gestured towards to bathroom. Rory nodded nervously back at Logan. Neither knew how to handle the awkwardness that had developed between them the past week. They had been many things in their relationship, but awkward and uncomfortable was never one of them. Rory knew someone needed to break the ice but she wasn't sure if Logan needed a joke to lighten the mood or wanted to be serious. It made her feel even more nervous because she had always been able to read his moods.

A few minutes later Logan reemerged from the bathroom dressed, brushed and generally refreshed for what he assumed would be a long night. Rory had put away her laptop and was fidgeting with them hem of her shirt. "I'm just going to go downstairs and check on the food. It should be done soon." But before she could make her way out of the room Logan grabbed her hand as she opened the door. He spun her towards him and pulled her body close to his with one arm and steadied the back of her head with the other. His lips attacked hers with a fury and hunger that he hadn't felt for her in months, not since the heyday of their affair before Odette had moved in with him. Rory felt a surge of heat burst through her veins and head straight for her core. She was totally caught off guard by Logan's sudden onslaught and her hormones were reacting accordingly. She involuntarily moaned into his mouth and Logan slowly backed her up until she was pressed into the door jamb and his body was molded into hers. Rory instinctively wrapped her right leg around his and pressed herself into him, feeling his arousal. He explored every inch of her mouth and used his free hand to slide up the side of her body to feel her now heavier breasts through the thin cotton of her t-shirt.

Just as he moved from her mouth to her neck a cold bucket of water was thrown on the two lovers in the form of a loud buzzing alarm on Rory's phone. Taking a second to register what was happening, they both parted with ragged breaths.

"What the hell is that?" Logan asked while still keeping Rory pulled tight to his body.

"The food. I set a timer for the oven."

"Are you seriously hungry right now?"

"Not really anymore, but I don't want it to burn and set off the fire alarm. If the smoke detector goes off too long the security system automatically calls the fire department to the house." Rory took another labored breath. "It would also probably be difficult to explain to your family what you're doing in Hartford if all the neighbors see us standing on the front lawn while the house burns down from a wayward casserole."

Logan let out a deep groan and started kissing the space behind Rory's ear that he knew drove her crazy, the alarm on her phone still buzzing all the while. "You're killing me Ace."

Rory smirked and grinded herself closer to him. "Good things come to those who wait Huntzberger. Come on, I need to feed this baby."

"Ugh, you're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

"I think it would be against my best interest to kill you now. Maybe wait until you've signed the birth certificate?"

"Always a comedienne. Come on; let's eat before your phone explodes over there."

Twenty minutes later the couple was seated at the kitchen island with plates of Berta's mystery casserole and two ginger ales. Upon smelling the delicious smells coming from the kitchen they both realized they were both in fact starving and devoured their meal as Rory told Logan about breaking the news to her grandmother the day before.

 _The large group of guests staying at the Dragonfly and Stars Hollow residents had finished the Thanksgiving feast that Sookie had prepared and were moving to the lounge for their coffee and dessert. Lorelai had been giving Rory pointed looks the entire meal and she knew that it was time to rip off the band aid and tell Emily before she made a break for it back to Nantucket. She and Jack were planning a weekend getaway to Palm Springs and she mentioned several times how she needed to leave early to avoid traffic. After the dining room was almost completely empty Rory knew it was her best opportunity for privacy._

 _"Grandma, I need to talk to you. Do you want to go outside for a minute?"_

 _Emily Gilmore gave her granddaughter a curious look. Normally she would've responded with a sharp retort, but she had been trying to be more gracious in her interactions. "Okay Rory," she replied and followed her granddaughter outside to the small enclosed side porch. Emily noticed that Lorelai surreptitiously slipped in behind her. What have these girls gotten themselves into now she wondered._

 _"So grandma, I need to tell you something. I don't want you to be upset, and I want you to know that I have everything under control." Rory was trying her hardest to project confidence even though she could feel her heart beating in her throat. She was also pretty nauseous from the big meal she had just eaten, so that wasn't helping her situation at the moment. If she got through this conversation without vomiting it would be quite the accomplishment._

 _"Rory you're scaring me. What is going on Lorelai?" she asked turning to her daughter. Lorelai just looked at Rory and nodded at her as an encouragement to keep going._

 _"Grandma, there's no easy way to tell you this, but...I'm pregnant."_

 _"Oh my god," Emily exclaimed with anger and frustration in her voice._

 _"I wanted to tell you before you found out from someone else."_

 _"And who would I find out from? Who is the father? That young man, Peter? Patrick?"_

 _"Paul, grandma, his name was Paul. But he is not the father. We broke up."_

 _"Then who is the father of this child?"_

 _Rory took a deep breath. This is not going the way she had hoped. Not that she had high hopes in the first place. "Logan Huntzberger."_

 _Rory thought the vein in her grandmother's forehead was going to burst open. "Thank god your grandfather isn't here to see this."_

 _"Mom!"_

 _"I read about his engagement in the papers. And Shira Huntzberger was sure to drop hints about his Parisian wedding the last time I saw her at the club. Has that changed?"_

 _"Yes grandma, he ended it this week. That's why I wanted to tell you before you heard from someone else." Rory remembered what she told Logan that morning in Boston. Her grandmother may have changed quite a bit, but another illegitimate child was her line in the sand. Apparently the fact that this baby was fathered by a Huntzberger was not sufficient in holding off her outrage since said father was engaged._

 _"So he was engaged until a few days ago? And how far along are you?"_

 _"Mom, I really don't think that matters. We get what you're trying to say."_

 _"Did you know about this Lorelai?"_

 _"No, she didn't know grandma. This is not her fault. I know it was mistake for us to sneak around; we just got caught up in the situation. We had actually ended things for good before I found out about the baby. But now Logan has ended his engagement and is coming here this weekend so we can make plans for how we are going to handle everything." Rory winced at her last sentence. She shouldn't have told her grandmother that last bit of information. First of all, Rory didn't know if the plans they were going to make were going to work out in the long run and secondly she didn't want to give her grandmother false hope that there would finally be a Gilmore-Huntzberger wedding to plan. Lorelai gave her a look to convey the same thoughts._

 _Briefly Rory could see the wheels turning inside her grandmother's head, but she was still in shock from the bombshell Rory had just dropped. "I need some air," she announced in her best upper crust New England voice and strode out the door into the chilly November day._

 _"I'll go talk to her," Lorelai volunteered but Rory put her hand on her mom's arm._

 _"No, its okay, I'll do it."_

 _"You wanted me here to referee. I feel like you're not getting your money's worth."_

 _"I know, I guess you won't be getting your free pass to interrogate Logan after all," Rory said as she followed her grandmother outside._

 _It wasn't a beautiful, crisp fall day. This Thanksgiving had turned into one of those downright chilly, gray and damp early winter days and Rory pulled the sleeves of her sweater down as far as she could and hugged herself in an attempt to stay warm. She knew both her and her grandmother shouldn't be out in this weather having an argument without so much as a jacket._

 _"Grandma, I know you're disappointed in me. I'm very sorry for that."_

 _Emily gave her granddaughter a sympathetic look. The cold air had sent a shock through her system that had actually brought her back down to reality. She took a few deep calming breaths before speaking. She was worried about her granddaughter's future, that was for sure, but not disappointed. "Oh Rory, I'm not disappointed in you. You're going to be okay."_

 _"You really think that?"_

 _"Things have changed, times have changed. You don't need to be married to have a baby anymore. I know that. I just want you to be happy and that is what I worry about. Your grandfather and I were always so proud of all your accomplishments, but I want you to be with someone you love too. There's no way to really explain how wonderful it is to be a partner with someone you love and who loves you back. Do you feel that way with Logan?"_

 _"I do love him; I just don't know if we have what it takes to be together."_

 _"Well, you are both going to have to figure that out together. You know, your grandfather was engaged when I met him."_

 _"Yes, I know that grandma. This is a little different." Rory had known the comparisons would be inevitable, but her and Logan's situation was very different._

 _"Maybe, maybe not. Richard was engaged to the wrong woman for him. Logan apparently was too. Marriage is never perfect Rory. It took your mother a long time to understand that. I hope it doesn't take you that long." Rory just nodded her head and Emily continued, "There is a reason you and Logan have been in each other's lives since you were at Yale. Remember that. And now you have a baby to be responsible for. I may have changed, but I still believe a child needs two parents. Don't let your child miss out on that just because you and Logan don't want to put in the effort."_

 _Rory nodded again, "Yes grandma."_

 _"Now let's go inside. I'm freezing and we haven't eaten dessert."_

"Well that went much better than it could have," Logan said after Rory had given him an abbreviated version of events.

"Yeah, my grandmother has changed a lot since my grandpa died. I'm actually really happy for her as much as I miss him." Rory had in fact been overjoyed at the new leaf her grandmother had turned over. She could tell she was finally getting to live her life on her own terms.

"Your grandfather was a great man. I'm still sorry I missed the funeral."

"Logan we've gone over this. Don't be sorry. It was hard enough. I don't know if I would have survived if you were there and I had to pretend we…you know."

"I know," he said solemnly.

Rory took a deep breath and thought to herself, here goes nothing. "So, are we going to talk about it? What is our plan now?"

"I told my father I want to transfer back to the New York office."

"If that's what you want."

"What is that supposed to mean Rory? Of course it's what I want. I said I'm going to be here for you and that means actually being here." Logan was instantly frustrated with her. What was it about him that made Rory doubt him any time he offered her any type of commitment?

"I just don't want you giving up your job. You love your job. I don't want you to wake up a couple years from now and resent me or worse this baby because you had to leave London."

"I'm not giving up anything. I've been in London long enough. I'm ready for a fresh start."

"So what would you be doing at the New York office?"

"Oh I'm still going to be VP of digital media; I'm just going to be doing it on this side of the Atlantic."

"But what about your employees? You just told me last week that you didn't think anyone would lose their jobs." That was still one of her biggest fears- that people's lives would be turned upside down because she and Logan had acted selfishly.

"They can move with me, or they'll be given the opportunity to move to a different department, or get a large severance package with plenty of job placement assistance. Some people may even end up with promotions."

"And Odette's money? It's gone now. I'm sure your father is furious about that."

"Well I need to confess something. I didn't go straight back to London last Friday. I made a pit stop in New York to talk to our CFO. I'm confident everything is going to be fine. The Vauthier money was like an insurance policy for many years down the road. In case you haven't heard, times aren't that great for print media and HPG has been living like it's 1985. I've been distracted by focusing on my department, but if I'm going to be in charge one day I'm going to have to make sure that insurance policy won't be needed. Colin kind of opened my eyes to that. We've been a little complacent so I just need to cut the fat."

"So does this mean your mother isn't going to have access to a private jet anymore? Because if she didn't hate me enough as it is, she's really going to despise me if I'm the reason she has to fly commercial."

Logan let out a short laugh, "If it comes down to it, I think Shira will just have to learn how to survive in first class like the rest of us peons."

Rory sat quietly for a few moments, silently staring at her now empty plate. It was a lot to take in. Within a span of three days Logan had upended his entire life for her. Was it going to be worth it? Was he going to regret it? And most importantly, was he going to change his mind a few years down the road if things didn't work out as perfectly as he had planned in his head?

"Okay, I just want you to be sure this is what you want."

Logan got up from his chair and started pacing around the kitchen, trying to diffuse his frustration at Rory's hesitation. He had never been surer of anything in his life. How could she not see that? He walked back to where she was still sitting at the kitchen island and took both of her hands in his.

"Rory don't you understand? This job, the money, the prestige...none of it matters to me if we're not together. Because fancy job titles and luxury cars and townhouses in Chelsea are nice and all, but when you love someone, and I mean really fucking love someone, being with them is the only thing in the world that matters. Do you think being CEO of Huntzberger Publishing Group is my dream? YOU are my dream. Creating a family together with you is my dream. And I'm sorry if that scares you. I've been scared of scaring you for too long. We're adults now. We're someone's parents now. We don't have the luxury of being so damn afraid. So I need you to tell me, do you love me? Do you feel the same way? It's okay to be scared, but I just want you to be honest. If you aren't sure, if you don't love me back, then I'll still be here for you. I'll still move back to New York and you can stay in Hartford or Stars Hollow or wherever the hell you want, and I'll support you and help out with the baby fifty-fifty. But if you love me too, and I think you do, then let's do this. I don't know the details or the specifics, but as long as you're beside me nothing else will matter. And if you love me even half as much as I love you, there's no way we can't make it work."

Logan was staring so intensely into her eyes it made a chill run up Rory's spine. Logan was of course good at the grand gestures, but the sweeping declarations of love was something she was not used to. She knew she needed to be one hundred percent honest with Logan at this point if they were going to make this work, but they had been tiptoeing around to truth for so many years that honesty was almost a foreign concept.

"I am scared."

"That's okay. Life is scary sometimes. I'm a little scared too. But the alternative is worse. Look at how close we came to spending the rest of our lives apart just because we were too scared to make this thing work."

"How can you be so sure? What if this blows up in our faces and we not only end up hating each other but also ruin this kid's life in the process?"

He shook his head, "Not possible. Ace, I know what bad parenting is, I've experienced it firsthand. Do you really think I'd let that happen?"

"No," she said shaking her head in return. He had a very good point there.

Logon continued, "And there's nothing you could ever do to make me hate you. I'm sure I'll probably make you mad on occasion, but I'm going to dedicate my life to making sure you never have a reason to hate me."

"Okay, but look at us. You were engaged to someone else two seconds ago. Paul and I just broke up. And we've been sneaking around and lying to almost everyone we know for three years. Are we even capable of being in a functional relationship anymore?"

Logan took a deep breath. As much as he truly loved Rory and was trying to respect her fears, he was losing his patience. How could she not see what was so obvious to him? "You know Rory, I have studied all the world's major religions and the only conclusion I've come to is I don't know anything for certain other than this is the only life we're going to get. So from now on I choose to make it the kind of life I want to live. And I choose happiness. And that means you and me and our family together. I'm tired of wasting time pretending I want anything else."

Rory took in everything that she had just heard, the words almost ringing in the dead silence of the Gilmore house. It was jarring to her system to hear so much honesty from Logan after years of living in "Vegas." Wasn't this what she had wanted to hear? She had told Stephanie and Lane and even her mother that there was a part of her that hoped Logan would declare his love for her and tell her everything was going to be alright when she told him about her pregnancy. She could raise this baby on her own, but she didn't want to choose single motherhood when being a family was an option. She knew she loved Logan. That was never up for debate. And she knew he loved her. It was the one thing she had actually never doubted about their relationship, no matter how screwed up it became over the years. She didn't know if they were actually capable of having a functional relationship anymore. That was going to have to be her leap of faith.

She looked up again at Logan's face. His eyes were still tired despite the nap. She had to assume that she was the cause of that tiredness. He had the tiniest bit of stubble on his cheeks and chin, and his hair was still a disaster. Here was a man who was offering her the world, a perfect life, if she wanted it. All she had to say was yes, and in that moment she felt what she could only describe as her heart swelling with love - cracking and overflowing with love. Later she would blame it on her hormones running wild, but tears filled Rory's eyes as the emotions took over her body, and she did the only thing she could think of doing at that moment. She reached up and kissed him gently on the lips and said, "Take me to bed."

* * *

Logan wordlessly guided Rory back up the stairs to her room with his hand on her lower back. The anticipation in the air was so thick that, while she was certainly far from it, Rory thought to herself this must be what a virgin would feel like on her wedding night. She had missed Logan's touch so much and had spent all week thinking about what he had said in his hotel room in Boston. Even though he was only in town for the weekend, there was no metaphorical countdown clock hanging over their heads tonight.

He methodically removed every piece of her clothing, stopping in between each item to kiss the previously covered skin. Rory knew they had made love before, but this felt different. Sex was always more than just a physical release for them, but tonight the connection and love she felt for this man was almost too much for her to bear.

He laid her on the bed and kissed down her body, Rory's breath hitching in anticipation as he stopped to draw circles on her inner thighs with his tongue. She could feel herself getting wetter as the need for release became stronger and stronger. Finally she couldn't take it anymore and reached down to run her fingers through Logan's hair and move his mouth right where she needed it. A virgin definitely wouldn't have done that she smirked to herself, but she didn't have any time to admire her sexual assertiveness as she gasped out loud when Logan sucked her into his mouth while pushing down right on her g-spot. Keeping her hands on his head she pushed it down just a little bit more so he'd get the hint that she needed him to go a little harder. Logan knew how to work her body like a musician playing his prized instrument, and he flattened his tongue to make rough circles around her clit and added a second finger inside of her to press down harder.

Rory moans steadily grew louder. It had been so long since Logan had touched her like this and she had almost forgotten how good he was at it. He reached up to pinch her now very sensitive nipples and the combination of the pain and pleasure sent her over the edge. She panted "Yes, yes yes" in unison with her body vibrating with orgasm while she held onto his head for dear life. It was the hottest sound he had ever heard and Logan had to fight himself not to come all over the sheets as he felt her muscles spasming around his hand. Nothing turned him on more than Rory's uninhibited enthusiasm for sex and the knowledge that he could make her do and say things that would make her whole body blush with embarrassment in any other circumstance. This version of his Ace was only for his eyes to see, or at least that's what he told himself so he could still sleep at night even though he knew it was a terrible double standard.

After several seconds Rory came back down to earth and released her hands from his hair. Logan kissed his way slowly back up her body as it was still shaking from the aftershocks of her orgasm. When he finally made his way up to her face he kissed her gently on the lips and brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Look at me Rory," he commanded. She looked up at him with her giant blue eyes and Logan knew in his heart that he was destined to love and be in love with this woman for the rest of his life. "I need to hear you say it."

Rory put her hand over his that was cupping the side of her face and reached up to kiss him again. She pulled away and smiled, "I love you Logan. I love you so much and can't wait to live this life together and I don't have any flowery language to describe it right now, so please make love to me." It had been ten years he waited to hear her speak those words and they couldn't have sounded any sweeter. He did as commanded and slid himself inside her, filling her so completely in a way that only Logan could ever satisfy.

Logan knew he wouldn't last very long- it had just been so long since they had been together and the heightened emotions of the night had all but obliterated his self control- but he tried his best to really take in the moment, how Rory's body felt hugging him, her breathing his name in his ear, her breasts softly pressed into his chest. She wrapped her legs around his torso and hooked her ankles together and he was gone.

As he grinded into her body and released himself into her, Rory felt another orgasm building. She was normally not a multiples type of girl, but every now and then if the sex was just right and Logan could press down on her g-spot at just the right angle she could make it happen. She tilted her hips up and grabbed his ass to push him deeper inside of her, and Logan instantly knew what she was getting at and tried with all his might to stay hard enough to give this to her. Three more strokes and he watched her squeeze her eyes shut. He leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Ace you are so fucking hot,"

And that was it. Her body took over, squeezing itself around him until they both couldn't physically handle any more.

After several moments they were able to catch their breath and Logan rolled off of Rory. She instinctively turned into his side to lay her head on his shoulder and he in turn wrapped his arm around her resting it on her hip. It was a move that they had perfected over the years that it was almost an involuntary movement.

Logan leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Rory's forehead. "I gotta say Ace, that was incredible but I feel a little bad. I promised you a whole night of sex."

"Shhhhhhhh you," was Rory's only response before she almost instantly fell asleep.

* * *

A few hours later Rory awoke with the instant realization she was both freezing and needed to use the bathroom. She and Logan had fell asleep nude and the drafty Gilmore home felt downright freezing in the New England November night. She extracted herself out of Logan's grip and ran to the adjoining bathroom as quickly and quietly as possible. But then as she was pulling a pair of pajama pants out of the ancient dresser the drawer creaked and Logan began to stir from the commotion. He shivered and pulled the duvet up to his chest and after a few moments he became fully conscious. He realized where he was and that he was also freezing in the cold bedroom. He silently got up to rummage through his bag for boxers and a shirt. Once they were both dressed the couple got back under the covers as quickly as possible and cuddled up to each other again.

Logan kissed the hair on the top of Rory's head and softly whispered, "Love you."

Rory was taken aback. It had been so many years since he had been this open and giving in his affection, let alone used the L-word. Even though they had both felt it strongly in the past three years, and she had told him she loved him hours earlier while they were making love, it was still foreign to her that either one of them would so casually declare their love for one another while they were cuddled in bed. But she decided to try it out just to see how it felt to throw the words out there.

"I love you too."

Logan squeezed her shoulders a little bit tighter and fell back asleep quickly, but Rory laid awake for several more minutes. It amazed her how easily he had transitioned into this relationship where he could cuddle up to her and whisper I love you while drifting off to sleep. She was terrified and exhilarated at the same time...but also perplexed. How could he so easily and seamlessly switch from years of holding back to just casually saying I love you like it was the most natural thing in the world? Was he saying the same thing to Odette less than two weeks ago? It felt right to her, saying I love you to him and hearing it back. Rory loved Logan and even after all they had been through had never really questioned if Logan loved her back. His actions had always spoke louder than words, but they were words they were careful to never utter out loud. She wanted to move their relationship to a place of honesty and true intimacy, but t how could they just pretend like the last three years never happened? Like they didn't have an affair and hurt and lie to others for three years? Maybe that was her fear- that he was so ready and willing to jump into a committed relationship and act like one big happy family when two months ago they were both willing to walk away.

Her mind didn't want to shut off but it eventually gave way to her first trimester exhaustion. As sleep was taking over her body she replayed their conversation from earlier in her head. He was choosing happiness. Rory wanted to do the same thing. She had never considered herself a self-destructive person, so why was it so hard for her to let this nagging doubt go?

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter has been finished for a few weeks but I've edited it several times - writing the voice of Emily Gilmore is hard y'all! As much as I'd like to pretend I'm as quick with the snooty one-liners as she is, I'm woefully not. On the other hand, many of Logan's lines have been written for months so that was fun to finally be able to unleash them on Rory. (Don't worry, she'll get her chance to air her grievances soon too.)**

 **It'll probably be a few weeks before the next chapter is ready. I love the pleasant surprise of finding a notification that a story I like has been updated when I least expect it, so I hope that my readers will feel the same way when out of the blue they get that email that I've posted the next chapter to this story.**

 **Thank you again for all the kind reviews. I like to respond to each one personally but just haven't had the time lately. So just to let everyone know I read and appreciate each and every one.**


	15. Chapter 15

As Rory slowly gained consciousness in the filtered morning light she immediately replayed the past eighteen hours in her head. Logan had been so open and forthcoming about his feelings. After years of holding everything back he had finally laid it all on the line. As hard as it must have been for him, she could only assume it had actually felt freeing. She blushed as she thought about the sex last night. It wasn't just hot, it felt meaningful too. She was happy she had finally told him how much she loved him, but she still had that gut feeling that something wasn't quite right either.

She found her slippers and an old sweatshirt to pull over her tank top as she headed downstairs to look for Logan. She was quickly enticed by the smell of bacon wafting from the kitchen and she had never been more grateful that her morning sickness had subsided. The sight of him in front of a frying pan, the full pot of coffee and jug of orange juice was enough to make her heart skip a beat.

"Sex and bacon? Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?" Logan jumped at Rory's words, completely unaware she had walked in the room. She walked over to him and he casually put his arm around her while pushing the bacon around the pan with a spatula.

"Good morning Ace," he said with a quick kiss to her forehead. "Hope all this is okay, I forgot to ask how you've been feeling about food in the morning."

"This is good, I feel fine now, thank God. But where did all this come from? I know I didn't buy any bacon last time I went shopping."

"Grocery delivery Ace, you gotta start living in the 21st century!"

"You had bacon and eggs delivered before eight o'clock on a Saturday morning? It truly is a brave new world."

"You won't be mocking once you had a bite of this," he said as he fed her a piece of already cooled bacon.

"Mmmmm, you're right, I take it all back."

The couple sat down again at the island countertop to enjoy their breakfast, eating in companionable silence. After a few minutes Logan put down the business section of the paper to look at Rory. He wanted to pinch himself, not really believing that they were both there together. Things were going to be getting real, really fast so he wanted to enjoy these nice moments while he could. He had to tell his mother that her victory lap, aka his and Odette's wedding, was not happening. As he was considering how he was going to break the news his phone dinged with an email from Odette's assistant. She had started the process of cancelling the caterer and other vendors, so it was only a matter of hours before his mother found out.

"So what are your plans for the day? Going to brave the mall and kick off the Christmas shopping season?" It would be better if Rory wasn't in the house when he told his mother, just in case she lost her mind and went in search for the woman who she thought ruined her son.

"God no." Like I have the cash for that, Rory thought to herself. "I'm just going to write some more. I'm almost halfway done with my book and I need to come up with an angle for my next freelance piece."

"That's great Ace. Did you hear back yet from Slate?" If he couldn't find a way to get Rory out of the house, at least it was for a good cause. Logan was so proud of Rory's writing career, even if things weren't going exactly to her original plan. He had always admired her talent since the first time they worked together on the Yale Daily News.

"Big fat rejection. But HuffPo liked it. They're supposed to run it Monday morning."

"Really? That's awesome news! Why didn't you say something sooner? We need to celebrate." With all the rejection she had faced lately in her career, Logan wanted to emphasize every single victory. He knew every little bit of exposure helped move it in the right direction.

"You don't think last night was celebration enough?"

"That was a much different cause for celebration." He wiggled his eyebrows and she laughed. "But we must celebrate this properly. This calls for a night on the town."

"In Hartford? What if someone sees us?" Rory wasn't ready to leave their bubble yet. And tongues would start wagging immediately if a DAR lady saw the two of them having a romantic dinner in an upscale Hartford restaurant.

"First of all, I don't care if someone sees us. I'm going to tell my mother today. But if it bothers you, I'd be more than happy to stay in and cook for you."

"I guess I don't care if someone sees us either," she fibbed, "but I'd rather stay in just the two of us anyway. We can go out tomorrow night."

"Chef Logan it is. I'll get more groceries today and fix something worthy of a internationally published author like yourself."

Rory just rolled her eyes at that comment. "Okay, but I seriously need to get back to my writing. It's still a work day for some of us. I'm going to take a shower and then be in the study if you can't find me."

* * *

Logan decided to rip off the band aid and head over to the Huntzberger estate as soon as he could while Rory continued her day's writing in the study. He lingered over his coffee and the paper while he waited for her to be done in the shower, enjoying the last few minutes of peace before his mother brought her wrath over the broken engagement.

He thought back to his conversation with Honor the weekend before. They had brainstormed how to make the announcement as painless as possible but no matter what he said it was going to be very unpleasant. Shira Huntzberger was no longer the evil villain he had made her out to be in his childhood and adolescence, but was still someone that had to be handled as far as Logan was concerned. Honor was waiting on standby, ready to call her mother and try to do as much damage control as possible after he broke the news. Shira had always favored Honor, and now even more so after she had willingly went down the traditional path of marriage, children, and philanthropic work for the family. Honor knew this and used that goodwill to help out her beloved brother as much as possible. Even still, she had been surprised and disappointed when he showed up unannounced at her front door with the news that he had been carrying on an affair for years behind Odette's back and gotten Rory pregnant.

 _Logan had rented the sports car deliberately instead of flying, hoping the long drive would help calm his nerves. He rarely got to drive anymore, always having a driver or taking a cab or the tube in London. Even with the heavy traffic it felt good being in control of a motor vehicle as it felt like the only control he had in his life at the moment. Several hours later he finally pulled into Honor's driveway and he started to second guess his plan of showing up unannounced. He rang the doorbell hoping she was actually home when Drew opened the door and his face lit up into the biggest grin a six year old could manage._

 _"Uncle Logan! Mom, Uncle Logan is here!" He practically jumped into his arms for a giant bear hug when Honor rounded the corner with Birdie on her hip._

 _"Logan, what in the world are you doing here?" she asked as she also stepped outside to join in on the hug._

 _"I was in Boston and thought I'd swing by to see my favorite sister and favorite nieces and nephew."_

 _She gave him a raised eyebrow, knowing Logan wouldn't just drive from Boston to her house unannounced unless something was seriously wrong. Thirty minutes later they were alone in the family room as Josh had generously volunteered to do bath and bedtime for three kids by himself so Honor and Logan could have some privacy. She was just about to burst with curiosity as Logan brought them both a beer from the mini fridge in the wet bar._

 _"If you don't tell me why you're here soon I'm just going to assume you're dying. Please tell me you're not dying." Honor had always had a flair for the dramatic, and becoming a mother had only intensified it._

 _"Honor, no I'm not dying. Though there soon might be some people who wish I were dead."_

 _"Is it work? Did something terrible happen to the company?"_

 _"Not exactly. But this does affect the company a little. And you're not going to be happy with me," he gave her a pointed look._

 _"Please just spill it." Honor was also not known for her patience._

 _"I've been seeing Rory Gilmore again-"_

 _"Logan!"_

 _"We've actually been together for several years-"_

 _"Jesus Christ, Logan!"_

 _"And now she's pregnant."_

 _"Fuck." Honor couldn't believe the words her brother was speaking._

 _"That's basically it."_

 _"'That's basically it'? You cannot be serious. What about Odette? Logan how could you and Rory be so stupid?"_

 _"I screwed up Honor. I've really screwed up."_

 _"Damn Logan, this is a big deal. This baby..."_

 _"I know, I know."_

 _"Are you sure it's yours?"_

 _"Honor! Of course it is. Rory would never lie to me."_

 _"No, apparently you're the one who is good at lying."_

 _"I came here for a little support you know."_

 _"I'm trying! I just can't believe you let this happen. Why did you stay with Odette all this time? Why did you get engaged? I know you've always carried a torch for Rory Gilmore, and I'm sympathetic to that, but why did you ask one woman to marry you when you're sleeping with another? I thought you were better than that Logan." Honor had never thought of her brother as a cheater. A womanizer most definitely, but never a cheater._

 _"I...I don't have any excuse. Everything got away from me. I was in over my head. Rory and I let it go on for way too long. Neither one of use would admit we wanted to be together so I finally just ended it. But there was a birth control accident and here we are." Logan gave his sister a pleading look, "Here I am asking my big sister for advice and maybe some help."_

 _Honor put her head in her hands and took a deep breath. Logan had done a lot of foolish things growing up, but this one really took the cake. She never thought he would keep something so big from her, on top of the cheating. Logan was just not the cheating type, or at least she never thought he would be. She also thought of Odette. She was in London right now going about her life, oblivious to the fact her fiancé was discussing the end of their relationship with her right now. That's what she thought he was doing, right? Did he want to try to stay with Odette? Hide this from her? Was she really oblivious? How could you not notice your partner is cheating for years? Honor had never felt strongly about Odette one way or another. She was nice, if a little spoiled, but treated Logan well and he appeared to love her. Honor herself felt betrayed, almost as if she had been cheated on because she and Logan told each other everything. If he was so unhappy with Odette why didn't he tell her?_

 _She looked up at her brother, who looked like he was about to cry or vomit at any minute. Honor felt sorry for him despite herself. He could still be such a lost little boy, desperate for love and attention and approval. As mad as she was at him right now, she knew that he needed her support. He was going to be punished enough in the coming weeks and months._

 _"It's going to be okay...eventually. Do you have a plan at all?"_

 _"Talk to Bob Thorpe, devise a financial plan, go back to London, tell Odette the wedding is off, tell mom and dad, try to move back here." He had spent the drive thinking about all the questions he needed to ask the chief financial officer of the company tomorrow morning. He really wished he had paid more attention in his finance classes in college._

 _"Well, that's a really good start. Odette is going to be devastated and probably furious. I'm sorry but you deserve that." Logan hung his head a little, knowing she was right. "Mom and dad are going to go ballistic, but probably not for the right reasons. I'll try to help there."_

 _"Thank you Honor."_

 _"How is Rory doing?" Honor had always loved Rory and loved the version of her brother when they were together._

 _"It's complicated. She's struggling with her career and this has really thrown her for a loop. I also may have said the wrong things at first. I think I fixed it, but I freaked out for a few hours after she told me."_

 _Honor gave him a look. "Should I call her?" she asked._

 _"Give her some space for now. She was actually worried you would be mad at her. I told her you would be happy for us, which I hope you're going to convey." Logan gave his sister a pointed look in return._

 _"Of course, I'm happy for a new baby. This is going to be the most beautiful baby in the world, behind all of mine of course. And I loved it when you guys were together at Yale, but that was a hundred years ago. Before all the lying and sneaking around," she finished, eyes narrowing._

 _"We're going to work things out. I promise." Logan realized he probably couldn't back up that promise, but if he said it out loud enough, it could become true too._

 _"You better." Honor took a long drink of her beer. "Now, how are we going to deal with mom and dad?"_

The two siblings spent the rest of the night strategizing damage control for the destruction Logan was about to rain down on his family's life. He was going to go to the Huntzberger estate to tell his mom in person, in case she tried to drive over to the Gilmore house and cause a scene. Honor had made sure Shira was going to be home, and was on stand by to call her after Logan left to try to handle the fallout. He was so nervous as he drove over the pit in his stomach grew bigger and bigger. But as he parked his rental and took a look at himself in the rear view mirror Logan chided himself. He was a grown ass man. He wasn't afraid of his mommy. There was nothing she could do or say to change his mind. It was done. He was just giving her the courtesy of informing her face-to-face

He strode confidently to the front door and rang the door bell. The maid who answered was new but recognized him from his photos. "Mr. Huntzberger, it's good to see you. Is your mother expecting you?"

"No, I'm in town and just wanted to see her. Is she available?" he asked, knowing full well that his mother had no plans for the day as she was "recovering" from her trip to New York for Thanksgiving. Shira might have turned into a surprisingly good grandmother but she still needed two days of recovery for every one spent with her grandchildren.

"Of course, I'll go fetch her."

Logan went into the formal parlor and poured himself a drink, just in case he needed it. Less than a minute later he heard his mother's heels tapping sharply on the marble tile.

"Logan! What a surprise! What are you doing here?" Shira reached over to give her son a hug and Logan returned it. It may be the last time his mother willingly hugged him for a long time.

"Let's sit down," he said as he took his mother's hand and let her to the settee next to the window overlooking the beautifully landscaped front lawn.

"What's going on dear? Is it Odette? Is everything alright with her?"

Logan searched his mother's face. He couldn't tell if it was genuine concern or if she was still only interested in the financial and social connections Odette brought to their family. If she didn't care about Odette beyond the that, it would make this a lot easier.

"I came here to tell you I called off the wedding-"

"YOU WHAT?" Shira interrupted him in outrage.

"Mom, please let me finish. I'm not happy, I was trying my hardest to convince myself it was the right thing, but I'm not going to marry someone I don't love."

"Logan, where is this coming from? Everything was fine when I visited in August."

"I've been trying to convince myself I can make it work, but I don't want to live like that." And that is the truth, he thought to himself.

"Well I'm the one who is sorry. I'm sorry that I did such a poor job raising you that you think you can shirk off your responsibilities to this family just because you're a little unhappy. I have news for you Logan, this marriage is important to more people than just you and Odette."

"Aaaaand there it is." Logan stood up, gulped down the rest of his liquor and stalked over to the bar for a refill.

"Oh excuse me for pointing out the obvious. Does your father know? What exactly did you say to Odette? You must go back to London right away and try to patch things up with her."

Logan didn't respond, keeping his back to his mother as he poured himself another scotch. This was going about as he expected, and if that was the end of it he would've been happy with the outcome. Angering and disappointing his parents was something he was very accustomed to since his childhood. But now he was going to have to bring Rory into the fray and he wanted to protect her from Shira's wrath as much as possible. He took a drink and tried to collect himself, remembering what him and Honor had planned.

He turned around to face his mother, sitting on the antique settee that probably costs more than most people's cars, wearing a "casual" Escada cashmere sweater and slacks, hair and makeup perfectly done, skinny as a rail and skin as smooth as silk because she had just had a "spa" vacation in Beverly Hills. He felt sorry for her in many ways. She had never had any material wants in her entire adult life thanks to Mitchum Huntzberger, but she was so desperately in need of love and human connection for decades. Shira didn't know what to do with herself in these strange, shark infested social waters of the Connecticut upper crust and she had done all she could to fit in. And in many ways she didn't just survive, she had succeeded. But she would never have the one thing she wanted the most: for her picture-perfect loving family to actually resemble the pretty package she presented to the outside world.

"I didn't come here for a debate, mother. I wanted you to be one of the first to know."

"Logan, I'm just trying to say-"

"Don't. I also wanted you to be the first to know that I'm back together with Rory Gilmore. I didn't want you to hear it from someone else."

Shira's eyes went wide and nostrils flared. Before she had a chance to fully process what her son had just said he dropped the last anvil. "And we're going to have a baby. At the end of June. Congratulations! You're going to be a grandmother again."

It wasn't many times in his life that he had rendered his mother speechless, and Logan was pretty proud of himself for doing it so well today. She sat there, her face turning red and clenching her jaw. After several seconds she gathered herself and stood up. "For generations this family has worked so hard so you would have everything, every opportunity, every advantage. And what do you do in return? Throw it back in our faces."

"Mom can't you see? This has nothing to do with you or the family. I love Rory, she loves me, we're thrilled this is happening." Logan smiled to himself thinking about Rory's declaration last night. "I would appreciate your support, but I definitely don't need it." Shira opened her mouth to start to protest but Logan cut her off. "And the business is going to be fine. You are going to be fine. You and dad have enough money in the bank to live like kings and queens for the rest of your life. And not that you're concerned about them, but my employees are going to be fine too."

"So that's it? You're throwing your entire life away because of a baby that probably isn't even yours?"

Logan saw red and had to count to five before he said something he couldn't take back. How ironic, he thought. "Funny, I'm pretty sure that's what people said to dad about you," and before Shira could throw out a retort he gave her a final warning, "You need to be very careful here mother. I ended the engagement with Odette. I have told dad that I am transferring back to the New York office. Rory and I are together and starting a family. There is nothing you can do or say to change these facts, but you can jeopardize your relationship with me and your future grandchild based on how you act right now. And in the future." He paused between each sentence and spoke with a definitiveness that conveyed to Shira that he was not going to debate with her any further. "I expect you to not only be on your best behavior around Rory, but to genuinely welcome her and treat her with respect."

Shira just sat there on her settee, still speechless and processing everything that had just happened as Logan sipped his drink. He was never a big day drinker, not since his younger days at least, but this was a unique situation that called for it. After several moments she finally spoke, "Well I see you have made up your mind. I can't imagine your father approves of this...plan of yours?"

"There's nothing to approve or disapprove of. I told him I'm going to begin transitioning to the New York office and everything else is a personal matter. HPG has been fine and will continue to remain fine under dad's leadership. Eventually I will transition into dad's role and will lead this company for the next generation. This is something you've never worried yourself with before and you don't need to start now, okay?"

"Alright," she admitted in defeat. Shira was a realist and unashamedly traditional. She knew that she had never cared about the details of how money came into her bank account and she wasn't going to start now. She left the business to her husband and she tended to the social life of her family.

Overall Logan was happy with himself, considering this was the best outcome he could've hoped for with his mother. In a perfect world his parents would understand that he shouldn't marry someone he doesn't love and be thrilled and delighted about the prospect of a new grandchild, but this was Mitchum and Shira. Begrudging acceptance via threat of cutting off all contact was the best he was going to get. After a few more minutes of awkward small talk Shira made an excuse about a lunch date at the club with a friend and practically ran out of the room.

* * *

The lobster had been terrific. Rory ate every morsel and didn't even miss the glass of wine that she usually enjoyed when Logan made his signature meal. They spent the evening companionably preparing dinner and discussing her article. Logan had always had a way of making all of her accomplishments seem more significant and exciting. She dug out the fine china in the butler's pantry and even lit candles. The dining room had felt barren since it now only containing the table and chairs without any other decoration, but the glow from the candlelight made the room feel romantic.

After they finished their meal the couple sat in companionable silence, enjoying the soft music playing from her grandfather's old record player. She didn't want to ruin the mood but Rory decided she had to continue their kitchen confessions from last night. She wanted this relationship to work, not just for her but especially for their baby. She gave herself a little mental pep talk because she felt she had to either spill it now or would chicken out.

"Hey Logan, I have something I think I we need to talk about."

The tone of her voice got his attention. Logan could tell there was something on Rory's mind, and because he knew her so well he knew it probably took a lot for her to even bring it up. He put down his glass and focused all his attention on her, nodding his head to let her know he was listening.

"Last night was, well, for lack of a better adjective, amazing. It felt so good to hear you say all of that out loud. But, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way, because I meant what I said too- I love you and want us to work this out and you have no idea how much I mean that so please just trust me that I do mean it from the very bottom of my heart- but I just...god this is so hard to say...um, I just, last night I had trouble sleeping for a little bit and it's because I have some, not reservations, but I guess you could call it nagging doubts in my mind and I don't know how to exactly articulate that with you." Rory took a deep breath after her vocal stream of consciousness and looked hopefully into Logan's eyes.

"Ummm...okay. Without any details on what you're having doubts about, I can't really address them Ace."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just feel like...I don't know...like this is moving really, really fast. Last night you just kind of brushed it off that you just broke up with Odette, but Logan, you were engaged to another woman less than a week ago. Were you kissing _her_ good night and telling _her_ you loved _her_ before you fell asleep a week ago? Because I know I'm definitely not innocent in this situation at all but how can you so easily flip the switch from her to me? And now you're here with me and saying you love me and want to uproot everything to move to New York. I just feel...I guess uncomfortable about everything moving so quickly."

Logan took a deep breath and tried to digest everything Rory had just said to him without judgement. This is what they were supposed to do, right? Being honest with each other and handling conflicts like adults was the goal. "I'm not really sure what you want me to say. I was one hundred percent honest with you last night. You're right, I most certainly haven't been honest with Odette. I lied to her, a lot, because I told her I loved her almost every day and didn't mean it. You're just going to have to take a leap of faith that I am telling you the truth. I'm not flipping a switch, but I am...opening the door to the room where I had stuffed all my feelings for you and everything came spilling out."

Rory nodded her head in understanding, she knew she had definitely done the same thing with her feelings for Logan. "And I realize things are moving so quickly," he continued. "There's a freight train heading our way in the form of this baby. Neither one of us know how to be a parent. And on the business side it's going to be a lot of hard work too. Mitchum was okay with me moving to New York but I just want to prove to him that I can do this as smoothly and professionally as possible."

Rory took in everything that Logan had just said. This had been an emotionally draining twenty four hours. She understood what he was saying, but didn't think he understood what she was trying to say to him. Mainly because she was having trouble putting it into words herself.

"I have no doubt you are going to handle the work side of everything perfectly because you're you, and you were born to be a leader at work. You're amazing at your job and your father knows it. He needs you a hell of a lot more than you need him. What I'm really talking about is us. We haven't been in a relationship in over ten years, not a real relationship. We haven't lived together in almost eleven years. And now we're going to throw ourselves and a baby into an insta-family? That's a monumental change and it's very overwhelming and just saying 'I love you' isn't going to magically make all of our issues go away. I guess what I'm trying to say is...I think we should take things a little slow."

"Slow? We're having a baby Ace, I think it's a little too late for taking it slow."

"You think I don't realize that? There's another person inside of me right now. Trust me Logan, I know we're having a baby." She stopped to take a deep breath to keep herself on message. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. What I'm saying is, I don't know if I can trust us not to screw this up, at least not yet."

Logan opened his mouth to give a rebuttal but Rory held up her hand. "I love you, Logan. So much. And because of that I want us to last. I want us to be like my grandparents, not my mom and dad. Because they loved each other their whole lives and look how that turned out."

"Then what are you proposing?"

Rory took a beat and thought of something her mother had said to her. "I think we should go to counseling."

Logan's mouth dropped open. "Like a shrink? You think we need to see a shrink?"

"Lots of people go to couples counseling. And come on Logan, if anyone needs it, it's us."

"Rory, I love you, and I'm willing to do anything to make this work, but I think it's a huge waste of time. We can work out anything with each other. We don't need to tell our problems to a complete stranger."

"No Logan, please trust me, I think this is for the best. We can't just spent one weekend together in my grandparent's old house and act like the last eleven years didn't happen. We need a neutral third party. Someone who isn't going to take a side."

Logan sat silent, processing everything he had just heard. He was raised to believe he could handle any problem, personal or professional, on his own. The thought of talking to someone he never met about their relationship made him feel incredibly uncomfortable. Then she spoke again, interrupting his thoughts.

"It's my condition for us moving in together."

Rory actually didn't know it was her condition until she said the words out loud, but as soon as she did, she knew it was the right thing. There was so much that both of them had left unsaid, that they needed to work through. She wasn't going to bring a child into an environment where it's parents are scared to be honest with each other.

"Well okay then. I'll do whatever you need to prove to you that I want to make this work." Logan knew when he had been outmaneuvered. And as the king of ultimatums, he had no right to protest when Rory had one of her own. Being with her was all he cared about.

"Thank you. And I want to stay here in Hartford until then. I need to be here to write. And the Gazette...I have to figure out what I'm going to do about that. I can't just abandon it. I'm going to have to find someone to take over for me."

Logan had actually been looking forward to Rory staying with him in London, but if this is what she needed he would give it to her. Whatever hoop she needed him to jump through, he'd do it like a golden retriever if that's what it took. He was willing to agree to almost anything to make her happy if he was being honest with himself. "Of course, you can't leave Stars Hollow high and dry without it's weekly gossip rag," he said with a laugh which earned a glower from Rory. "Just kidding Ace, just kidding. They are lucky to have you and whoever takes over will never be able to fill your shoes."

"They're a size seven, it won't be that difficult." She gave him a small smirk. "But seriously, I don't know how I'm going to manage it. I already planned on going into Stars Hollow every morning to work at the paper then spend the afternoons writing here. I can't run a small town paper from New York."

"Please don't get mad, but aren't you working for free?" Logan knew a landmine when he saw one, and he would need to tiptoe gingerly around this subject.

"Yes, but it's a free paper with like four ads, and two of them are for Al's Pancake House and I'm pretty sure Taylor gives them a discount in exchange for free egg rolls. There isn't exactly a budget for an editor's salary."

"Rory you're a serious journalist." She raised her eyebrow. "You are! We're celebrating your latest piece being published by the Huffington Post. You can't be working for free."

"Logan, please, you know I can't just let the Stars Hollow Gazette die. It was the first paper I read growing up."

"Then let me buy it." So much for tiptoeing.

"What? No, absolutely not! Why would you even do that? And didn't you just tell me last week how HPG needs to cut back wasteful spending. I think buying a free weekly small town newspaper is the definition of wasteful spending." Rory hated it when he did stuff like this. A grand gesture to buy his way out of any problem, or in this case her problem, was not at all what she wanted.

"Stars Hollow is a forty-five minute drive from Yale. And guess who loves supporting aspiring young journalism students at Yale? Yours truly and the entire HPG organization, that's who. We can buy the Gazette and create our own little journalism learning lab ran by Yale Daily News interns."

"I don't know Logan..." This sounded suspiciously of rescuing her, and as much as she wanted to be rescued, she could not let Logan rescue her when it came to her career.

"Think about it Ace. At the Gazette you do everything from the first stages of planning a new issue, writing, editing, advertising, layout, to publishing and circulation. It's a microcosm of the newspaper world."

"I agree with you there, but-"

"And of course you'll still have a supervisory role."

"I don't need you to give me a job." She was going to get a job on her own. And working for the Huntzberger organization was never going to happen.

"It'll still be a volunteer position, you'll just have to check in from time to time, maybe introduce new interns to the town."

Even if she was volunteering, she would still be working for HPG. But Logan was right she couldn't be working for free anymore. Not when she had a baby to take care of. And she couldn't let the Stars Hollow Gazette go under. She just couldn't. "It _would_ be a great learning experience..."

Logan smiled, knowing he had convinced her. He had came up with the idea on the fly, so now the hard part was going to be convincing his father to go along with it. But he would buy the paper himself with his own money if necessary. Anything to make their transition to New York as smooth as possible for Rory.

"It'll be an excellent learning experience. You can come up with the criteria for internship candidates and we could interview them together."

"I like that idea."

"I'll make it happen. Hopefully by the end of the spring semester we can have it worked out." He was going to have so much on his plate already. Buying a newspaper and creating an internship program from scratch was not something he really had time for, but he was just going to have to find the time. Anything to take stress off of Rory's shoulders, he told himself. Even if that means putting more on his.

"Okay, but I'm not changing my mind about the counseling thing. Don't try to distract me from that."

"I wouldn't dare Ace. I wouldn't dare."

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, I have been gone a long time. I almost quit this story even though I swore I wouldn't because of some pretty rough personal stuff. I lost my baby at 19 weeks so writing a story about a pregnant woman felt pretty horrible. But after awhile I kept writing things in my head and really wanted to continue, and it felt pretty cathartic to get it all down on the screen. Not telling people that for pity, just so you know why I disappeared for so long. The great Logan/Shira confrontation was a little difficult because I don't think she's a total villain, but definitely has her priorities out of whack. I loved writing Logan and Honor together because it's really the only sibling relationship on GG and I think they were accurately portrayed as a brother and sister who grew up in that type of household. I hope I can update again soonish.**


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